strong in this room.
“You’re so close, baby. You’re so close, I can almost touch you.”
Marian’s whispered words were comforting. There was a small, secret smile on her face as sleep came at last. Laura was here. And she could hear her baby talking, just to her.
Laura was laughing, her long, blond hair shining like a halo. They were outside in the backyard, making a snowman. Muffy was dashing and chasing at Laura’s heels, frolicking in the snow. The little dog slid comically as she tried to go through a snowdrift, and Laura rescued her with a happy squeal. Muffy was licking her face now as Laura picked her up and held her close.
She was looking through a window at the happy scene outside. Marian tried to open the door to join them in their play.
“Come on, Mommy!” Laura called out. “Come out and play with us!”
But the door was stuck fast. Marian stared at it in horror. She couldn‘t go outside.
Laura called to her again, and tears ran down Marian’s face. She tugged at the door with all her strength, but it would not open. She could see them through the window, but she couldn’t get to Laura.
Marian sat up, tears running down her cheeks. It had been so real! This was the first time she had dreamed about Laura. And she couldn’t join her, not even in a dream!
The minute she turned on the light, she saw it, Laura’s diary, open to today’s date. The blue-lined page was filled with childish printing.
Muffy is here. Thank you, Mommy. Now I’m not so lonesome anymore.
Was she still dreaming? Marian shut her eyes tightly and opened them again. The words were still there. She had to show Dan right away!
“Dan! Oh, God . . . Dan!” Marian rushed into the den and switched on the light. It was two in the morning, but Dan had to wake up. She wanted him to be happy, too.
“Oh, Dan, just look at this! It’s another note from Laura!”
Dan’s eyes snapped open, his sleep shattered. The room was filled with light, and Marian was shaking him. What was she saying? Another note from Laura?
“But that’s impossible! I didn’t . . .” Dan stopped, dismayed. He couldn’t admit he’d written the last note. It would destroy Marian’s happiness.
There was a tense moment as he struggled to think. Another note from Laura. And he hadn’t written it. How was that possible?
He was puzzled for a moment, but then it was clear. Marian wrote it herself. Of course. She used to write things in her sleep all the time. He remembered how she kept a notepad by the bed. In the morning there would be lines of poetry or items for her grocery list. They used to laugh about it then. Should he remind her?
“Read it, Dan!” Marian thrust Laura’s diary into his hands. “I’m so happy!”
As his eyes scanned the lines, Dan was sure he was right. Marian’s subconscious was at work here. She was rationalizing Muffy’s death. And she needed to believe that Laura was still with her in spirit.
He looked up into Marian’s ecstatic face. There was just a small seed of worry as he stared at her. Hadn’t Marian’s delusion gone a little far?
No. She was happy now. He couldn’t destroy that. All this would pass in time. Dan held out his arms, and she came to him, warm and loving and happy.
“Isn’t it wonderful?” Her voice was a whisper as she snuggled up close. “Aren’t you happy, darling?”
“Yes, I’m happy.” As he spoke the words, he knew they were true. He was happy that Marian trusted him, confided in him. There was no reason to get upset over a harmless delusion. It really couldn’t hurt her at all.
CHAPTER 9
Marian sat up and turned off the alarm. It was very early. The room was still dark.
Dan was sleeping soundly, the blankets snug around his body. Marian longed for that same comfort. The urge to cuddle up to Dan and go back to sleep was very strong. She wanted to wrap herself in warm covers and sleep the whole day away.
Even though it was torture, she pushed
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