William Shakespeare's Star Wars

William Shakespeare's Star Wars by Ian Doescher Page B

Book: William Shakespeare's Star Wars by Ian Doescher Read Free Book Online
Authors: Ian Doescher
Tags: Humor, General
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    Gold Five, what say’st thou? Canst thou count the guns?
    GOLD FIVE Belike ’tis twenty yon and hither, both
    Upon the surface and within the tow’rs.
    COMPUTER Within five minutes shall the Death Star be
    Upon our rebel base, and set to strike.
    GOLD LEAD. To targeting computer presently
    I switch.
    GOLD TWO —I have receiv’d a signal on
    The ship’s computer—that the port will soon
    Be in our range. But soft, good friends, what’s this?
    The guns! It seemeth that their guns have stopp’d.
    GOLD FIVE So watch thy rear, and stabilize thy shields.
    Perhaps an enemy doth come behind.
    GOLD LEAD. Aye, aye, they come! Three ships at point-two-ten.
    CHORUS The battle heats as Vader and his men
    Approach the threefold members of group Gold.
    The Empire’s hate will be fulfillèd when
    Darth makes his power known with blows full bold.
    VADER I shall destroy the rebels vile myself.
    Just give me thy good cover and ’tis done.
    Now shoot I once, and death is the result.
    [Darth Vader shoots. Explosion. Gold Two dies
.
    GOLD LEAD. I have no power to maneuver, fie!
    GOLD FIVE Stay thou on target.
    GOLD LEAD. —Nay, we run too close!
    GOLD FIVE Stay thou on target!
    GOLD LEAD. —Wretch, pray give me room!
    [Darth Vader shoots. Explosion
.
    Gold Leader dies
.
    GOLD FIVE Gold Five doth this ill news report: we have
    Lost Dutch and Tiree both.
    RED LEAD. —In troth, I hear!
    Stay ready.
    GOLD FIVE —From behind they do attack!
    [Darth Vader shoots. Explosion. Gold Five dies
.
    LUKE [
aside:
] So much of desolation and of death.
    Is this Rebellion worth the lives here lost?
    Yet I would gladly my life give to it—
    Thus reason not the need, my troubl’d soul.
    CHORUS Whilst all the rebels mourn the loss of life,
    Upon the Death Star tensions have been prov’d.
    The rebels’ plan hath rear’d the threat of strife,
    But Gov’nor Tarkin stands assur’d, unmov’d.
    Enter
G RAND M OFF T ARKIN
with
C HIEF O FFICER aside, in Death Star.
    CH. OFFICER The rebels’ sharp attack hath been well prob’d
    And now it doth appear a danger looms.
    I do confess my love to thee, good Sir,
    And would my very life lay down for thee.
    Wouldst thou that I make ready thine own ship,
    That thou may’st flee should fighting turn to death?
    TARKIN Retreat whilst we do win the day? You jest!
    Forsooth, I stand unmovèd like a rock.
    [Exeunt Grand Moff Tarkin and Chief Officer
.
    COMPUTER The Death Star shall within three minutes be
    Upon the rebel base.
    RED LEAD. —Red boys, ’tis I,
    Thy tried and true Red Leader. We shall meet
    Upon the mark at six-point-one. Make haste!
    WEDGE Red Two doth stand obedi’nt at thy side.
    BIGGS Red Three doth come.
    DODONNA —Red Leader, hear me now.
    It is Base One who speaks to thee. Keep half
    Thy fighters out of range upon thy next
    Attempt. If one group sadly falls, belike
    The other shall succeed: so shall we make
    The Empire take our fleet by halves, not wholes.
    RED LEAD. I hear and understand, good Sir. Now Luke,
    Take thou Red Two and Three with thee and wait
    Upon my signal ere thou mak’st thy run.
    Now hence we go an Empire for to slay!
    CHORUS Red Leader, with the others, Twelve and Ten,
    Make their descent into the trench with speed.
    Their brav’ry, cunning, and their acumen
    May give these men the victory they need.
    RED TEN Dost thou agree, it should be in our sights?
    RED LEAD. Pray keep thine eyes a’watching for those ships
    That have our comrades cruelly destroy’d!
    RED TEN The interference hath become too wide.
    Red Five, canst thou yet see them where thou standst?
    LUKE I see no ships, but—wait. Aye, they approach!
    They come at point-three-five.
    RED TEN —I see them now.
    RED LEAD. My ship hath come in range of that sly port,
    The port that hath evaded us so far.
    But now, aye now, the target shall be mine.
    If ye, good friends, may hold them there awhile,
    I shall this battle end with one swift stroke!
    VADER Close in, my lads—we three shall ride as

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