on in his eyes.” I shudder, remembering the touch of Brad’s cold skin on me.
“Griandor said he would restore his life after the war.” So he has to be dead.
Brit rests her head on my shoulder. Tears soak through my shirt.
I lean my head on Brit’s. “I know you’re right. He would have been used against me somehow, even if he never went on our camping trip, but I hate myself for ever doubting him. Reverse our roles, and he would have been a better friend to me than I was to him. He
was
a better friend to me than I was to him. Before he was stabbed, he fought against the poison controlling him to apologize, and he didn’t have anything to be sorry for.” Words are painful to speak. My face and hands burn, and a lump forms in my throat, rendering me mute.
Arland moves in closer, sandwiching me with support between him and Brit.
“It’s okay, Kate. You said Griandor will restore Brad’s life. Everything will be okay.” Brit sniffles.
She rubs her hand up and down my back, but it does little to make the guilt disappear.
I lift my head then stare into her eyes mirroring mine. “
If
I don’t fail, Griandor will restore Brad’s life. But if I do fail, everything will be lost. And Brad does not deserve to be involved in any of this. His only crime was loving me. It seems like loving me might be a crime for everyone.” I turn to Arland.
He runs his hand along my leg. “You cannot blame yourself for what happened to Brad. And loving you is not a crime, but acting on that love seems to be.”
“Arland!” Brit scowls at him.
Arland’s right. Daemons attacked Brad after he shared his hidden love for me. Arland is in a position where it’s impossible for him not to love me, yet that love is forbidden. We want to spend the rest of our lives together, and in committing to each other, it’s possible we both get in trouble. Maybe love is not for me. Maybe that’s why it took twenty years before I ever kissed anyone, before I ever thought about taking my clothes off for a man. So why
did
Gramhara give me her power of love? I’m at a loss.
He cups my face with his hands. “The more I think about mine and Brad’s love for you and everything loving you means, the surer I become of my father’s reasons for you to keep your distance from me at Willow Falls. He is aware of your mother’s intentions to Bind us, Kate. He has to be.” Arland faces my mom. “Is there anything you can tell us about Willow Falls? You said something angers Kate, but what? You must have more details.”
She shakes her head. “All I know is how important it is for you to follow through with the Binding. I believe it is important to both of you, as well. Am I right?”
“You are aware of what the spell means to us, but why else is it important?” Arland asks, his voice flat.
“The closer you two are, the more you share, the stronger both of your magic will be. By the end of this war, many will conjure magic the way Kate does, but it starts with your marriage.”
Brit bolts upright. “Wait, now you are marrying Arland and not Perth?”
A smile stretches across my face before I have time to stop it. “Yes, but you cannot tell anyone.”
She looks between Arland and me as if she wants to bolt to the nearest bridal store … too bad for her they are all worlds away. “Oh my God, Kate, that’s awesome news! Of course I’ll never tell anyone, but how—?”
Mom arches an eyebrow. “We are going to need
Perth
to side with us, and we are going to have to make sure everyone around here remains quiet about Arland and Kate’s relationship.”
“It doesn’t sound like you think Perth will help them, Mom,” Brit says, excitement fading from her voice.
“I do not.”
I place my hand over Mom’s knee. “Well, I do. I will talk to him—”
Arland clears his throat.
We lock eyes, and for a moment, I get a glimpse of our future. Lazy days spent on picnic blankets with warm sunshine beaming down on us. Laced fingers.
“Griandor said he would restore his life after the war.” So he has to be dead.
Brit rests her head on my shoulder. Tears soak through my shirt.
I lean my head on Brit’s. “I know you’re right. He would have been used against me somehow, even if he never went on our camping trip, but I hate myself for ever doubting him. Reverse our roles, and he would have been a better friend to me than I was to him. He
was
a better friend to me than I was to him. Before he was stabbed, he fought against the poison controlling him to apologize, and he didn’t have anything to be sorry for.” Words are painful to speak. My face and hands burn, and a lump forms in my throat, rendering me mute.
Arland moves in closer, sandwiching me with support between him and Brit.
“It’s okay, Kate. You said Griandor will restore Brad’s life. Everything will be okay.” Brit sniffles.
She rubs her hand up and down my back, but it does little to make the guilt disappear.
I lift my head then stare into her eyes mirroring mine. “
If
I don’t fail, Griandor will restore Brad’s life. But if I do fail, everything will be lost. And Brad does not deserve to be involved in any of this. His only crime was loving me. It seems like loving me might be a crime for everyone.” I turn to Arland.
He runs his hand along my leg. “You cannot blame yourself for what happened to Brad. And loving you is not a crime, but acting on that love seems to be.”
“Arland!” Brit scowls at him.
Arland’s right. Daemons attacked Brad after he shared his hidden love for me. Arland is in a position where it’s impossible for him not to love me, yet that love is forbidden. We want to spend the rest of our lives together, and in committing to each other, it’s possible we both get in trouble. Maybe love is not for me. Maybe that’s why it took twenty years before I ever kissed anyone, before I ever thought about taking my clothes off for a man. So why
did
Gramhara give me her power of love? I’m at a loss.
He cups my face with his hands. “The more I think about mine and Brad’s love for you and everything loving you means, the surer I become of my father’s reasons for you to keep your distance from me at Willow Falls. He is aware of your mother’s intentions to Bind us, Kate. He has to be.” Arland faces my mom. “Is there anything you can tell us about Willow Falls? You said something angers Kate, but what? You must have more details.”
She shakes her head. “All I know is how important it is for you to follow through with the Binding. I believe it is important to both of you, as well. Am I right?”
“You are aware of what the spell means to us, but why else is it important?” Arland asks, his voice flat.
“The closer you two are, the more you share, the stronger both of your magic will be. By the end of this war, many will conjure magic the way Kate does, but it starts with your marriage.”
Brit bolts upright. “Wait, now you are marrying Arland and not Perth?”
A smile stretches across my face before I have time to stop it. “Yes, but you cannot tell anyone.”
She looks between Arland and me as if she wants to bolt to the nearest bridal store … too bad for her they are all worlds away. “Oh my God, Kate, that’s awesome news! Of course I’ll never tell anyone, but how—?”
Mom arches an eyebrow. “We are going to need
Perth
to side with us, and we are going to have to make sure everyone around here remains quiet about Arland and Kate’s relationship.”
“It doesn’t sound like you think Perth will help them, Mom,” Brit says, excitement fading from her voice.
“I do not.”
I place my hand over Mom’s knee. “Well, I do. I will talk to him—”
Arland clears his throat.
We lock eyes, and for a moment, I get a glimpse of our future. Lazy days spent on picnic blankets with warm sunshine beaming down on us. Laced fingers.
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