I never intended to be an adulterer. But one look at my neighbour across the street, and I knew I would need to have him inside me. And of all the weekends of the year on which to commit sin, I had to choose this one.
Sorry Jesus.
I didn't much care for the Holiday. Not at all, really. Even when I was a child, all I cared about were the chocolate eggs. I enjoyed putting them between my lips and petting them with my tongue, feeling them begin to melt against my touch, before I finally sucked them all the way in and chewed them against my teeth, sucking the sweet, dark sugary taste until it was nearly gone, and it was time to reach out for another.
I loved this part of Easter, but almost nothing else.
That was until the day that I met the strange young man across the street, who would soon captivate my attention like nothing else ever had. I would find it impossible to get him out of my head, and even if I could think of a way to do it, I wouldn't have wanted to. I enjoyed having him sitting ever present on my mind.
He'd been interested in me right away, but I was engaged, and I didn't know what to do about his affections. Of course I wanted him; as I would grow to learn, he was in fact a billionaire, who only lived in the relatively small suburban house because he found it comforting. That kind of humbleness was better than anything you might find evident in my fiancé, which I know sounds like a terrible thing to say, but it's true. That man doesn't have an ounce of humility in his body, and he hasn't even accomplished all that much.
Oh lord, listen to me, I must sound terrible. I don't know why I'm even with him, really, if I only have so much negativity about him. But really, what would I do without him. I needed him, if only because I couldn't make it on my own.
It had occurred to me that my neighbour might take me in, but I couldn't bring myself to ask him something like that. We hadn't even slept together by this point, although it had become quite clear that we wanted to. And when we finally did fuck, it was unlike anything I’d experienced.
Let me explain how this came about.
He and I had been meeting occasionally to discuss gardening. He was often out front attending to a small garden of his, and I had one of my own as well. His was much nicer though, and so I had explained to my fiancée that I would go over and talk to him about how he got his garden looking so beautiful. That's the excuse I told myself at least. I’m pretty sure the gardening thing had led my fiancée to assume that our neighbour was gay. If he’d seen the way our neighbour looked me in the eyes, he’d know how silly that was.
He always stood up from his work as I approached without needing to look to see that I was on my way over. I always wondered if this was a coincidence, or if he really could sense me coming somehow. In any case, I often waved as he turned to look at me.
“Hey,” I said, “how’s it going?”
“Not bad,” he replied, “yourself?”
“Oh, pretty alright.”
“Cool.”
“So whatever happened to your plan to plant tulips?”
“I’m saving my tulips for you.”
I laughed, but I was also nervous. We were within sight of my fiancée if he decided to take a look out the window for a moment for whatever reason.
“That was lame.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, “got you laughing though.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“So do you really want to stand out here pretending to talk about gardening again?”
“What do you mean?”
“Come on,” he said, “you and I are on the same page, aren’t we?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Yes you are,” he said, taking off his gardening gloves and stepping closer to me, “when do you want to get around to doing it?”
I decided to stop playing dumb.
"The timing is a little awkward, isn't it?" I asked, "what with Easter weekend and all?"
"You're religious?"
"No," I said, and it wasn't a nervous lie or anything, I really wasn't,
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