Why the Sky Is Blue by Susan Meissner

us. We’re not always sure we’re making the right decisions.”
    “My point exactly,” she said softly, astounding me with the depth of her perception.
    I could say nothing in response to this, so I just apologized again. She nodded her head, and we rode the rest of the way home in silence.
    The next few days were rather awkward for us as a family. Katie spent most of her time upstairs in her room or in the living room playing her piano recital piece over and over—well past the point of memorization. On the few occasions I tried to talk with her about our situation, she put up a wall of feigned indifference. She was pretending she didn’t care what we did with the baby, but it was so obvious that she did.
    One morning late in the week I came downstairs wearing some of the maternity clothes Becky had brought. Katie looked up at me as I came into the kitchen and stared. She had never seen the clothes before and I could see it was on the tip of her tongue to ask me about them. I suppose since it had to do with the baby, she opted not to.
    “Becky brought over some clothes for me,” I said simply, wanting her to know I knew how she felt.
    She just put another spoonful of cereal into her mouth without saying a word. I couldn’t tell if she was relieved I had sensed her interest or perturbed.
    By the week’s end, Dan was resolved to call Ed and Rosemary and tell them we had made our decision.
    “So you’ve prayed about it?” I said, since this was what Ed and Rosemary had expected of us.
    “Several times a day,” he said. “This is the right thing to do, Claire. Don’t you agree?”
    I didn’t know how to tell him that nothing felt ‘right’ to me. There was nothing ‘right’ about any of this. But since I knew it made the most sense, I nodded.
    “Did you pray about it too?” he asked me, and I could tell he was afraid I might announce I had received a different answer to our predicament.
    “Yes,” I said softly and then added, “Psalm 20.”
    All he heard was “yes.” I don’t think he knew or was concerned I was still psalming my way through my prayer life. Dan had always been private about his prayers. He never prayed out loud and he didn’t expect me to. If I wanted to pray Psalm 20 every day for the rest of my life, I knew Dan believed that was between me and God and no one else.
    “So you agree with me?” he asked cautiously.
    “We can call them,” I said.
    On Saturday I made pancakes for breakfast, and while we ate, Dan told Kate and Spencer we were going to invite Ed and Rosemary down so they could meet them.
    “So, they’re going to get the baby,” Spencer said, not so much a question as a plea for confirmation.
    “We think they will be wonderful parents. They want this baby very much,” Dan replied.
    I expected Katie to say nothing and she did not surprise me.
    Dan called the Prentisses later that day, and the three of them made plans for all of us to get together the Saturday before Easter. Dan even asked them to stay overnight and to come with us to Easter services the following day. Ed had apparently said something about getting a hotel room, but I overheard Dan insist they stay with us. It surprised me that Dan was including them in such a traditional family event. It wasn’t that I minded. I just found it odd.
    I called my mom that night and told her Dan and I had finalized our decision, that Ed and Rosemary would be adopting the baby. The possibility of my miscarrying was slipping further and further away. It didn’t even seem there was a chance of that anymore. When I thought of the future, I saw Rosemary holding a tiny bundle, not me delivering a tiny, lifeless body.
    “So how do you feel about that?” my mother asked.
    I shrugged, not caring she could not see it.
    “It seems to be the best I can expect,” I said truthfully. “I really like Ed and Rosemary. And I know they will love this baby.”
    “Love is everything to a child,” my mom said, and I knew she was