Who'll Kill Agnes? by Lea Chan

if you had inherited half of your aunt’s property how would you have divided the house?”
    “I don’t know what I would have done back then. I was so very young. But now I would sell out my half and buy a luxury condo. This house is very expensive to maintain and I imagine the taxes are tremendous.”
    “Yet Agnes doesn’t want us to go out and work to earn money for the upkeep.”
    “Oh no. She would be jealous of our independence. She wants us here, depending on her, worshiping her, grateful to her. She has convinced herself that we can’t exist without her. This is her domain, her empire.”
    “Geez, and you all just go on doing what she says.”
    “Not exactly.”
    “Looks like to me you do.”
    “Penny and I have secret jobs.”
    “You’re kidding! What are they?”
    “Well, almost everyone else knows, except Agnes, of course. You might as well know, too.”
    “So, tell me.”
    “We both write columns for the newspaper. It doesn’t pay very much money but enough for nice clothes and things. We don’t have to pay for room and board, remember, so with Agnes’ little allowance-uh-salary and our column money we have a little bit of independence, not enough for a grand trip, perhaps.”
    “So what do you write?”
    Audrey blushed. “Have you ever noticed the Ask Hildegarde column, the one about etiquette and fashion?”
    “Yeah, I think so. Hey, is that why Kevin called you Aunt Hildy this morning?”
    “Oh, you noticed that.”
    “You mean Kevin knows what you’re doing?”
    “Sure. That kid has a great sense of humor. He loves putting things over his mom. He certainly knows about Mark.”
    “So what does Penny write?”
    “ The Aunt Hazel Recipes . However, the newspaper thinks I write both columns and pays me for both. I divide the salary in half and pay Penny. She’s such a little wimp that she’s afraid Agnes will find out and do something again.”
    “Well, nobody’s going to get poisoned from her recipes.”
    “Of course not.”
    “How about Les? Does he do anything extra for money? I mean he’s got you-know-who over at the trailer park.”
    “Oh,” laughed Audrey, “nothing is secret in this town. Let’s just say that he has his ways but they’re not quite as profitable as mine and Penny’s.”
    “You’re all nuts.”
    “Seriously, Bernie, be careful. Agnes hates you and she stops at nothing to get what she wants.”
    “Geez,” said Bernie quietly.

CHAPTER SEVEN
     
     
     
     
    Agnes, in the meantime, was driving downtown to the school administration building. With the success of the Garden Club gathering behind her, her thoughts, always self-centered, now dwelled on the magnificent contribution that she had made to the school children of Magnolia Creek. She considered how, during the past twenty-five years, her nutritional endeavors had helped make Magnolia Creek students among the healthiest in the country. Then she thought of poor Penelope who had been so inept in the education field and how grateful she should be to Agnes’ efforts, which enabled her to give up teaching. Penelope belonged just where she was as her companion . She smiled benevolently to herself.
    Her wandering thoughts turned to her upcoming conference with Shirley Gates. She was fairly certain that Shirley was resigning and was going to tell Agnes that she would recommend her for the position. Shirley’s appointment five years earlier had been a devastating blow to Agnes who had fully expected to be promoted to director. Agnes had been passed over many times for promotion but Shirley’s appointment had been especially unexpected. Shirley, a much younger woman than Agnes, had appeared on the scene virtually out of nowhere. Her only credentials had been as food editor of the Connor’s Corner local newspaper. Agnes felt that she had worked well with Shirley. If she had had to undermine her decisions and inject her own from time to time, it was simply for Shirley’s own good and the well being of