she was losing her meal ticket, so it completely slipped her mind that she had another daughter that was losing her sister.”
Even at my lowest, I never thought about it like that. I wasn’t suicidal. I just wanted to be numb, and sometimes I took too many. As her tears fell, so did mine.
“I’m so sorry, Jenna.”
Even with tears, I saw her skepticism.
“Were you sorry then, or the second time? Or the third?”
“I’m here, I’m trying to get the help I need and be better.” I said forcefully.
“Don’t give me spin,” she spat.
“It’s not spin,” I insisted. Needing her to believe, I took a risk. I went to her and I wrapped my arms around her. She was rigid, fighting me, but then she crumbled. We stood there sobbing, crying for the mistakes we’d made. The time that was lost.
“I...didn’t—” She couldn’t catch her breath. “What I said a-about killing y-y-yourself—”
“I know,” I interrupted gently, sniffing. “Even though it cut me to the bone, deep down I knew you didn’t mean it.” I held her at arm’s length. “And I’m sorry for the hell I put you through. I’m getting my shit together. Not just for me and my career, but for you too.” I remembered her face smushed against the glass as fate hurtled me toward that first commercial. The pride in her eyes. “I want you to be proud of me again.”
She wiped her cheeks, a smile on her lips. “I will be. Or else.”
I pulled her back in for another hug. There was no erasing the past, but I had hope for our future.
When we separated, Jenna had a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “So tell me about Liam! And start from the beginning.”
I smiled at her and took a long gulp of water. This was going to be one hell of a story.
“Well, it’s kind of amazing.” I began. “And it all started when he saved me.”
****
Even at my lowest, I never thought about it like that. I wasn’t suicidal. I just wanted to be numb, and sometimes I took too many. As her tears fell, so did mine.
“I’m so sorry, Jenna.”
Even with tears, I saw her skepticism.
“Were you sorry then, or the second time? Or the third?”
“I’m here, I’m trying to get the help I need and be better.” I said forcefully.
“Don’t give me spin,” she spat.
“It’s not spin,” I insisted. Needing her to believe, I took a risk. I went to her and I wrapped my arms around her. She was rigid, fighting me, but then she crumbled. We stood there sobbing, crying for the mistakes we’d made. The time that was lost.
“I...didn’t—” She couldn’t catch her breath. “What I said a-about killing y-y-yourself—”
“I know,” I interrupted gently, sniffing. “Even though it cut me to the bone, deep down I knew you didn’t mean it.” I held her at arm’s length. “And I’m sorry for the hell I put you through. I’m getting my shit together. Not just for me and my career, but for you too.” I remembered her face smushed against the glass as fate hurtled me toward that first commercial. The pride in her eyes. “I want you to be proud of me again.”
She wiped her cheeks, a smile on her lips. “I will be. Or else.”
I pulled her back in for another hug. There was no erasing the past, but I had hope for our future.
When we separated, Jenna had a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “So tell me about Liam! And start from the beginning.”
I smiled at her and took a long gulp of water. This was going to be one hell of a story.
“Well, it’s kind of amazing.” I began. “And it all started when he saved me.”
****
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