was my voice he was hearing screaming like an insane person as Aiden made me come like I’ve never come before in my life. And that includes with Luke.
I grab my chest and continue to search around me, looking for somewhere to go so that I can get a ride out of here.
I see an overnight grocery store down the road and I contemplate going there to run, but stumble again as I try to walk. I’m out of my fucking mind. I’m drunk and running the streets. At night. By myself.
This is like a horror movie waiting to happen. Realizing my limits, I turn the corner to go back to the bar. I walk slowly, trying to think of what I’ll say. How can I even explain this so that he won’t think I’m in some fucked up way trying to hang on to him and his life? This is his circle that I keep finding myself drawn to.
I see Luke standing in the alley where I just fucked Aiden. He sees me walking and I have no idea if he’s processing what this means or not. I only know he looks great and I’m mad at myself for noticing.
He wraps his arms around me when I walk up to him and I notice how he doesn’t feel like Aiden right away. It’s a much different hug.
“I’ve been calling you. Why haven’t you answered?”
“Luke. I’m not going to stay in touch with you. You need to live your life with Lilly. Don’t you have a baby coming soon?”
“I do. Lilly sent me to make sure you’re ok.” Of course she did. Can Lilly be any more perfect?
“Does it still look like you have a few weeks before it’s born?” I continue to make small talk because honestly, I don’t know what else to say.
“Yes, that’s what they’re saying.”
“Luke. I can’t do this. I walked away so that you can have your happiness and I need to find mine. If you do shit like this, how am I supposed to move on?”
“I need to see that you’re ok and when you don’t fucking answer my calls, what do you expect me to do?” I look down because having him this close confuses me. I’m supposed to be able to find my home in his arms like I did the entire time we were together, but that’s not my home anymore. I don’t have one.
“I’ll start answering your calls.”
“Kimber. Please look at me. I don’t know what to say. I wish like hell things were different and I could be there for you too. It hurts me to see you hurting. I can fucking feel your pain from home and I can’t deal knowing you sacrificed so much for us. Just because Lilly is here, doesn’t mean that I ever stopped loving you.”
“Fucking stop, Luke. Don’t you think this is goddamned hard enough on me? I love you. I love what we were supposed to be and I now know I was just a rite of passage for you.” My words hit me as I realize what I’m saying. “You needed me to get back to Lilly and I love that I could be that for you.”
“And you needed me so you could break free of the hold those assholes had on you in California and for those reasons, we’ll always be an important part of each other’s lives. I didn’t come back here to say I love you and to try to get you back. I came back here to say I love you and you’ll always be a part of my story. I was real with you the entire way through and you deserve so much more than what I’ve put you through.”
“Then let me find that. I need time, Luke.”
“I’m sorry, Kimber. I needed to see that you’re ok. I’ll never apologize for checking on you and if you’d stop fucking running off before we can talk, I’d tell you that I want the best for you. I want to help you get your life started wherever you’d like to go, but I’d love more than anything if you’d move back and let us help you get settled in somewhere.” I lean against the wall and try to figure out how to tell him this.
“Luke. They are your family. That is your home. As long as I’m there, you’ll have a part of your history that
I grab my chest and continue to search around me, looking for somewhere to go so that I can get a ride out of here.
I see an overnight grocery store down the road and I contemplate going there to run, but stumble again as I try to walk. I’m out of my fucking mind. I’m drunk and running the streets. At night. By myself.
This is like a horror movie waiting to happen. Realizing my limits, I turn the corner to go back to the bar. I walk slowly, trying to think of what I’ll say. How can I even explain this so that he won’t think I’m in some fucked up way trying to hang on to him and his life? This is his circle that I keep finding myself drawn to.
I see Luke standing in the alley where I just fucked Aiden. He sees me walking and I have no idea if he’s processing what this means or not. I only know he looks great and I’m mad at myself for noticing.
He wraps his arms around me when I walk up to him and I notice how he doesn’t feel like Aiden right away. It’s a much different hug.
“I’ve been calling you. Why haven’t you answered?”
“Luke. I’m not going to stay in touch with you. You need to live your life with Lilly. Don’t you have a baby coming soon?”
“I do. Lilly sent me to make sure you’re ok.” Of course she did. Can Lilly be any more perfect?
“Does it still look like you have a few weeks before it’s born?” I continue to make small talk because honestly, I don’t know what else to say.
“Yes, that’s what they’re saying.”
“Luke. I can’t do this. I walked away so that you can have your happiness and I need to find mine. If you do shit like this, how am I supposed to move on?”
“I need to see that you’re ok and when you don’t fucking answer my calls, what do you expect me to do?” I look down because having him this close confuses me. I’m supposed to be able to find my home in his arms like I did the entire time we were together, but that’s not my home anymore. I don’t have one.
“I’ll start answering your calls.”
“Kimber. Please look at me. I don’t know what to say. I wish like hell things were different and I could be there for you too. It hurts me to see you hurting. I can fucking feel your pain from home and I can’t deal knowing you sacrificed so much for us. Just because Lilly is here, doesn’t mean that I ever stopped loving you.”
“Fucking stop, Luke. Don’t you think this is goddamned hard enough on me? I love you. I love what we were supposed to be and I now know I was just a rite of passage for you.” My words hit me as I realize what I’m saying. “You needed me to get back to Lilly and I love that I could be that for you.”
“And you needed me so you could break free of the hold those assholes had on you in California and for those reasons, we’ll always be an important part of each other’s lives. I didn’t come back here to say I love you and to try to get you back. I came back here to say I love you and you’ll always be a part of my story. I was real with you the entire way through and you deserve so much more than what I’ve put you through.”
“Then let me find that. I need time, Luke.”
“I’m sorry, Kimber. I needed to see that you’re ok. I’ll never apologize for checking on you and if you’d stop fucking running off before we can talk, I’d tell you that I want the best for you. I want to help you get your life started wherever you’d like to go, but I’d love more than anything if you’d move back and let us help you get settled in somewhere.” I lean against the wall and try to figure out how to tell him this.
“Luke. They are your family. That is your home. As long as I’m there, you’ll have a part of your history that
Similar Books
