reason for being alive on the Earth.
“Put your shirt back on; I’m taking you to the mall. You want a laptop or a desktop?”
Nat stared at her as if she’d sprouted a tentacle in the middle of her forehead. “Are you serious?”
“Totally. Let’s go.”
*
A year later, Kamerynne was sticking her finger down Nat’s throat in a filthy McDonald’s restroom in Oakland, desperately trying to get her to throw up the bottle of tranquilizers she’d swallowed. It seemed obvious to Kamerynne, finally, that someone like Nat who had such wild nightmares spilling out of her imagination might have had some of that darkness seep into and poison her soul. And truly helping her might be a bit more harrowing than spending a few dollars here and there.
“Why’d you do that?” Kamerynne asked, wondering whether she wanted to cry or slap Nat as the other girl retched melting blue pills and orange juice and vodka into the stained toilet. “You’re my best friend; you could have talked to me.”
Nat collapsed back on the piss-stained floor, shaking her head. “Nah. You’d be berr off wi’out me.”
“I love you.”
“I hate me,” she sobbed.
*
Kamerynne picked up Nat after she was released from the hospital.
“I have to go to the pharmacy to get some meds.” She smoothed the crumpled prescription on her lap.
“Okay. Matter which one?” Kamerynne turned the key in her BMW’s ignition.
“Nope.”
They drove in silence for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Nat said.
“It’s okay,” Kamerynne replied. “It could have been a lot worse.” She cleared her throat. “You know, I wouldn’t be better off without you. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Nat said.
“I forbid you from dying, okay?”
Nat laughed. “It doesn’t work that way, I don’t think.”
“You’re smart, you’re beautiful, and you’re so much more talented than anybody I’ve ever met...look, if you decide you don’t deserve to live, how are the rest of us supposed to feel like we deserve to keep breathing, huh?” Kamerynne meant for it to all sound like a joke, but when the words left her mouth, she realized it wasn’t the least bit funny.
Nat smiled at her anyhow. “It’s different for you. I see the Goddess in my dreams, and I know I’m a disappointment to her.”
Kamerynne swallowed. Nat mentioned the Goddess sometimes, just in passing, but when Kamerynne asked her about her religion, Nat always said she wasn’t really supposed to talk about it. The whole thing seemed weird, but she didn’t want to be disrespectful. “How could you disappoint her?”
“I have a role in her Coming. Not now, but later. And I’m too scared to do it. I’m a coward, and I’m worthless, and She knows it.”
“Hey, no, you’re not worthless; don’t talk about yourself like that, okay?”
“I am.” Nat began to weep.
Kamerynne squeezed the steering wheel, feeling lost and helpless, but then she remembered the pills they were driving to get. The meds would surely help clear Nat’s mind. Kamerynne vowed to make sure she took her meds on time and stayed away from alcohol.
*
Kamerynne’s mother swept into the house with an enormous smile on her face.
“Oh, darling, you’re here! I have the most wonderful news!”
“What’s up, Mom?”
“Charibdys Studios has gotten the funding for Cthylla: The Rising ! They want me to reprise my role.”
“Oh, wow, that’s great!” Part of Kamerynne cringed as she remembered the tentacled screen embrace.
“I’ve talked to your father, and he’s interested in being a producer this time around, so we’re meeting with the studio president and some of his execs aboard his yacht this evening. We should be home by 11:00, I think.”
*
Shortly after midnight, Kamerynne got a call from the police. A propane tank exploded onboard the yacht, and the force knocked her parents off the deck. Unconscious and helpless, they drowned. They were dead.
The next morning, she
“Put your shirt back on; I’m taking you to the mall. You want a laptop or a desktop?”
Nat stared at her as if she’d sprouted a tentacle in the middle of her forehead. “Are you serious?”
“Totally. Let’s go.”
*
A year later, Kamerynne was sticking her finger down Nat’s throat in a filthy McDonald’s restroom in Oakland, desperately trying to get her to throw up the bottle of tranquilizers she’d swallowed. It seemed obvious to Kamerynne, finally, that someone like Nat who had such wild nightmares spilling out of her imagination might have had some of that darkness seep into and poison her soul. And truly helping her might be a bit more harrowing than spending a few dollars here and there.
“Why’d you do that?” Kamerynne asked, wondering whether she wanted to cry or slap Nat as the other girl retched melting blue pills and orange juice and vodka into the stained toilet. “You’re my best friend; you could have talked to me.”
Nat collapsed back on the piss-stained floor, shaking her head. “Nah. You’d be berr off wi’out me.”
“I love you.”
“I hate me,” she sobbed.
*
Kamerynne picked up Nat after she was released from the hospital.
“I have to go to the pharmacy to get some meds.” She smoothed the crumpled prescription on her lap.
“Okay. Matter which one?” Kamerynne turned the key in her BMW’s ignition.
“Nope.”
They drove in silence for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Nat said.
“It’s okay,” Kamerynne replied. “It could have been a lot worse.” She cleared her throat. “You know, I wouldn’t be better off without you. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Nat said.
“I forbid you from dying, okay?”
Nat laughed. “It doesn’t work that way, I don’t think.”
“You’re smart, you’re beautiful, and you’re so much more talented than anybody I’ve ever met...look, if you decide you don’t deserve to live, how are the rest of us supposed to feel like we deserve to keep breathing, huh?” Kamerynne meant for it to all sound like a joke, but when the words left her mouth, she realized it wasn’t the least bit funny.
Nat smiled at her anyhow. “It’s different for you. I see the Goddess in my dreams, and I know I’m a disappointment to her.”
Kamerynne swallowed. Nat mentioned the Goddess sometimes, just in passing, but when Kamerynne asked her about her religion, Nat always said she wasn’t really supposed to talk about it. The whole thing seemed weird, but she didn’t want to be disrespectful. “How could you disappoint her?”
“I have a role in her Coming. Not now, but later. And I’m too scared to do it. I’m a coward, and I’m worthless, and She knows it.”
“Hey, no, you’re not worthless; don’t talk about yourself like that, okay?”
“I am.” Nat began to weep.
Kamerynne squeezed the steering wheel, feeling lost and helpless, but then she remembered the pills they were driving to get. The meds would surely help clear Nat’s mind. Kamerynne vowed to make sure she took her meds on time and stayed away from alcohol.
*
Kamerynne’s mother swept into the house with an enormous smile on her face.
“Oh, darling, you’re here! I have the most wonderful news!”
“What’s up, Mom?”
“Charibdys Studios has gotten the funding for Cthylla: The Rising ! They want me to reprise my role.”
“Oh, wow, that’s great!” Part of Kamerynne cringed as she remembered the tentacled screen embrace.
“I’ve talked to your father, and he’s interested in being a producer this time around, so we’re meeting with the studio president and some of his execs aboard his yacht this evening. We should be home by 11:00, I think.”
*
Shortly after midnight, Kamerynne got a call from the police. A propane tank exploded onboard the yacht, and the force knocked her parents off the deck. Unconscious and helpless, they drowned. They were dead.
The next morning, she
Similar Books
