might be looking to avert attention from all of that, and maybe pushing Brian away is your scapegoat, your way to gain some space?”
Could she be driving Brian away on purpose? Was she so sick of battling with him about Sarah that she’d begun pushing him away? Maybe Shane was right. Maybe she was setting up obstacles, making it harder for Brian than it needed to be. Junie pretended to look over the daily order sheet.
“I don’t think I am, but maybe. I’m so confused.” She tossed the clipboard onto the counter and covered her face in her hands. “This thing with Ellen and losing my dad, it’s just too much. I mean, I feel like I’m dealing with losing my dad better than I’m dealing with the memories of Ellen. Or maybe I’m not dealing with losing him at all. I haven’t felt it hit me like a brick in the face, like it should hit me.” She turned her back to Shane and said quietly, “I can’t help but wonder if he was somehow tied into Ellen’s disappearance.”
“Sheesh! That’s a leap, don’t you think?” Shane leaned against the counter next to Junie. “Look, you’re exhausted. This is your dad we’re talking about. Ralph. The man who raised you, who taught you that adding detergent to your water, baking soda, and vinegar gives you a better eruption for your volcano.”
Junie laughed.
“That doesn’t sound like the same man who could’ve done something to your friend.”
Junie wanted to believe him, but there was a nagging at the back of her mind that she couldn’t shake. “You’re probably right.” She had to get the thoughts of her father untangled from her thoughts of Ellen, and the only way to do that was to figure out why she was having them.
She hugged Shane. “I think I just needed to touch base. Thank you.”
“For what?” Shane asked.
“For being here. I’m gonna go see what I can dig up.”
“I hope you mean that figuratively.”
Junie slowed her speed as she came off the highway and drove down the quiet streets toward the Gettysburg library. She pulled into the parking lot and parked beside a row of hedges. This was it. This was the last place Ellen had been seen. Junie breathed deeply, wishing she were there for some other reason: a school project for Sarah, volunteering, anything other than hunting down clues to Ellen’s disappearance.
Ivy laced the sides of the concrete steps leading to the once white building, which had grayed with age, making it look even more regal than she’d remembered. The magnolia tree out front had branched tall and wide, blocking the view of the front window. Junie stepped from her car, thinking of Ellen skipping up the walk. A shiver ran up her spine. She considered turning back, driving away, and letting go of her need to discover whatever lay beyond her memories. But she couldn’t turn her back; the pull was too strong.
Junie opened the heavy oak doors and stood in the entrance, breathing in the smell of aged wood and old books. The odor wasn’t unpleasant or musty; it was simply distinct. She walked through the wide center of the building, wondering if Ellen had known when she left the library on that fateful day that something horrible was about to happen, or had she skipped away from the prominent building with a smile and been scooped off the street by some dangerous ex-con? Why did the police assume she was abducted? Was there any proof? She could have been abducted, but something felt incomplete, like when she substituted applesauce for butter in baked goods to make them low fat. Sure, it might go undetected by most people, but she knew it wasn’t the best. Ellen’s abduction felt fraudulent somehow.
Junie sat in a cubicle, facing the library computer, feeling bad for leaving her mother with Sarah even though she didn’t seem to mind. She hadn’t really lied to her. I just have to run to the bakery. She did have to touch base with Shane, but she also wanted to get a handle on the thoughts she was having. She glanced
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