mean, I know you have enough that even if you didn’t have savings, if it was for school or something, then Jackie would …” Rob turned over in the darkness and drew me close, throwing his leg over mine.
“Jackie can’t know. That’s why. If I buy anything online,she’ll know. Since we dived, since you got hurt or in danger because of me, I’m officially her ex-kid.”
“I get that. It could have been you. She was scared.”
“Her scared is over and she’s furious.”
“Well, maybe now. But not for long. That’s bullshit. It’s two days until Christmas Eve. She’s not going to stay mad at you over Christmas, Allie.”
“Believe me, she is.”
Rob knew my mom well, but he didn’t know the kind of anger engendered by the thought of her daughter beating XP only to drown. My mother would be civil to me in front of our relatives, for the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, when my Grandma Mack paid for the whole family (including Mom, Angie, and me) to stay up at The Timbers on Torch Mountain in a big chalet, to ski every night (and every day, for everyone else).
“It won’t get here in time for Christmas,” Rob said. “The camera.”
I nodded, biting back tears. Christmas this year was a difficult subject between us.
Rob was going skiing, too. He was going skiing in Vail with his parents, leaving in one day. When my Uncle Brian arrived in Duluth, Rob would be taking off at the same airport. We weren’t married, or engaged, or anything. But it felt wrong for us to spend Christmas apart the first Christmas after Juliet’s death, the first Christmas that we were a couple. Still, we were kids, and there was no way that we could buck our parents’ wishes. The Dorns thought they were giving Rob a treat—he’d always wanted to ski Vail or Mammoth or Whistler—but I suspected also that, especially now, they didn’t particularly want him around me.
“We can wait until after Christmas,” I said.
“It could be after New Year’s.”
“Well, it’ll come before then, and I can do this myself.”
“What do you want to do yourself, Allie?”
“I don’t want to tell you.”
“Allie, since when do we have secrets?”
“Not ever.” But we had, and we did.
“Then tell me.”
We had agreed that I had mental problems where it came to Garrett Tabor. Why should I reinforce this already unfounded, unfair idea by telling … the truth?
But this was Rob. So I blurted out, “I want to take video of him … like surveillance. I want to set the camera up on a timer so that it would take a few minutes every hour, so I can see what he does when he comes and goes. I could see what he carries with him. I want to take pictures so I can remember exactly where we saw the bodies …”
Rob sat there motionless.
“You saw them. You saw the skeletons.”
Rob said nothing.
“You saw them!” Just as it was impossible that Rob had nearly died down there, it was impossible, for
the third time
, that he had failed to see what I saw. It could not have happened. He hadn’t seen the dead girl in the apartment, the second time we scaled the Tabor Oaks. He hadn’t seen Juliet with Garrett Tabor at the Fire Festival.
“You were taking pictures!” I said, grabbing for his shirt, not to hurt him, not to startle him, but to shake him—to make him remember. “You dropped the camera, Rob, but the camera has pictures of them. I saw the flash going off.”
Rob’s voice was muffled. I imagined him covering his face with his big hands. “I don’t even remember taking pictures, Allie. I passed out. All I remember is waking up in thehospital. I’ve tried, honey. I don’t even remember being in the boat. I don’t remember seeing Tabor at all.”
“So, you think I made it up. Anyone would think I made it up. Skeleton girls chained to the old pillars, pushed back inside the cliff cave. It sounds like a horror movie. Maybe I’ll only be able to find the place that once. So he gets away again.”
“Jackie can’t know. That’s why. If I buy anything online,she’ll know. Since we dived, since you got hurt or in danger because of me, I’m officially her ex-kid.”
“I get that. It could have been you. She was scared.”
“Her scared is over and she’s furious.”
“Well, maybe now. But not for long. That’s bullshit. It’s two days until Christmas Eve. She’s not going to stay mad at you over Christmas, Allie.”
“Believe me, she is.”
Rob knew my mom well, but he didn’t know the kind of anger engendered by the thought of her daughter beating XP only to drown. My mother would be civil to me in front of our relatives, for the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, when my Grandma Mack paid for the whole family (including Mom, Angie, and me) to stay up at The Timbers on Torch Mountain in a big chalet, to ski every night (and every day, for everyone else).
“It won’t get here in time for Christmas,” Rob said. “The camera.”
I nodded, biting back tears. Christmas this year was a difficult subject between us.
Rob was going skiing, too. He was going skiing in Vail with his parents, leaving in one day. When my Uncle Brian arrived in Duluth, Rob would be taking off at the same airport. We weren’t married, or engaged, or anything. But it felt wrong for us to spend Christmas apart the first Christmas after Juliet’s death, the first Christmas that we were a couple. Still, we were kids, and there was no way that we could buck our parents’ wishes. The Dorns thought they were giving Rob a treat—he’d always wanted to ski Vail or Mammoth or Whistler—but I suspected also that, especially now, they didn’t particularly want him around me.
“We can wait until after Christmas,” I said.
“It could be after New Year’s.”
“Well, it’ll come before then, and I can do this myself.”
“What do you want to do yourself, Allie?”
“I don’t want to tell you.”
“Allie, since when do we have secrets?”
“Not ever.” But we had, and we did.
“Then tell me.”
We had agreed that I had mental problems where it came to Garrett Tabor. Why should I reinforce this already unfounded, unfair idea by telling … the truth?
But this was Rob. So I blurted out, “I want to take video of him … like surveillance. I want to set the camera up on a timer so that it would take a few minutes every hour, so I can see what he does when he comes and goes. I could see what he carries with him. I want to take pictures so I can remember exactly where we saw the bodies …”
Rob sat there motionless.
“You saw them. You saw the skeletons.”
Rob said nothing.
“You saw them!” Just as it was impossible that Rob had nearly died down there, it was impossible, for
the third time
, that he had failed to see what I saw. It could not have happened. He hadn’t seen the dead girl in the apartment, the second time we scaled the Tabor Oaks. He hadn’t seen Juliet with Garrett Tabor at the Fire Festival.
“You were taking pictures!” I said, grabbing for his shirt, not to hurt him, not to startle him, but to shake him—to make him remember. “You dropped the camera, Rob, but the camera has pictures of them. I saw the flash going off.”
Rob’s voice was muffled. I imagined him covering his face with his big hands. “I don’t even remember taking pictures, Allie. I passed out. All I remember is waking up in thehospital. I’ve tried, honey. I don’t even remember being in the boat. I don’t remember seeing Tabor at all.”
“So, you think I made it up. Anyone would think I made it up. Skeleton girls chained to the old pillars, pushed back inside the cliff cave. It sounds like a horror movie. Maybe I’ll only be able to find the place that once. So he gets away again.”
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