broom to knock snow out of the trees where our backyard opened onto a portion of the Superior National Hiking Trail. Angela’s snowmobile suit was only a week old. That picture would have had to have been taken by someone with a long lens … or standing in our driveway, observing my sister unawares. There were more. Angela with Keely at the bus stop. Angela walking into school. My mother and Gina on a run in their woolies and headbands. In all, there were a dozen pictures.
He didn’t have to tell me that he could get close to the people closest to me.
He could get way too close.
All it would take would be a wheel over a curb on a dark morning, a car that came out of nowhere. Tabor knew how to do that. I had surgical pins in my arm to prove it.
How did he know that we were talking, here … now?
Shoving my phone in the front pocket of my big hoodie, I jumped to my feet and yanked the kitchen blinds down so hard that they jangled crooked on their tracks.
Was he watching us now?
“What’s wrong with you?” Jackie asked.
“We were watching a horror movie. Angela and I were. The girl looked up and there was this creepy burned guy with this face pressed up to the window. I just looked out there,and it was so black and cold.” I thought of that night on the balcony of the Tabor Oaks, and Tabor’s face as he calmly looked at me. His handsome face, worse than any distorted rubber monster mask. My life was a horror movie. “Mom, I’m sorry. I have to prove to myself,” I said, improvising desperately. “I have to prove that I can go on without her, Mom. I have to prove that whatever Garrett Tabor and Juliet did together has nothing to do with me now. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea for us to try free diving now. But I’m grieving now. And I’m lonely now. And so is Rob.”
Don’t believe me
, I thought.
What I’m saying sounds nuts. Call me on it. I would collapse and just tell you
.
“What did Rob want?” my mother asked.
I had no idea what she meant. Then I realized she believed that the cascade of texts had come from Rob.
“I ask for a reason,” she added. “You’re not going anywhere tonight.”
“I won’t see Rob that much over Christmas …”
“You should have considered that before. It seems that for the past year, all you’ve done is risk your life in stupid ways.” Jackie got up, as well, and she got in my face, close to me. She had never spanked me or even given me a slap on the butt when I was a child. At this moment, it wasn’t out of the question that she would slug me. She was breathing hard. Her hair was sticking up like she’d tried to craft a faux-hawk for Halloween. “When is your birthday, Alexis?”
“That would be January eighteenth,” I said. “You were there, remember?”
Jackie grabbed my arm. “I don’t care how old you are. The day you turn eighteen is the next time you leave this house except for work. And I will drive you to work. Do you hear me? Do you?”
“I hear you,” I said. “I’m sorry.” For the first time since I was ten, I crossed my fingers behind my back. Now, I would have to evade not only the authorities, but Garrett Tabor and my mother to prove what I had seen. I would do it, though. I would do it somehow.
12
BREAKING UP
The next night, I asked Rob to buy me a camera. We were sitting alone, side by side on my bed, in the dark, music quietly playing from my dock.
“For your birthday?” he said. “I sort of had a plan for that, actually.”
“Well, I was thinking before. I was thinking for nothing. I’ve never asked anybody for anything in my life, like since I was little and wanted a Dracula’s Daughter doll. But I need a camera better than mine. I need a camera that does better video than mine.” I stopped and took his hand. “But that a dummy person like me could use.”
“No offense, Allie-Stair, but why are you asking me to buy you a camera? I don’t mean I won’t. I just wonder why, because you have money. I
He didn’t have to tell me that he could get close to the people closest to me.
He could get way too close.
All it would take would be a wheel over a curb on a dark morning, a car that came out of nowhere. Tabor knew how to do that. I had surgical pins in my arm to prove it.
How did he know that we were talking, here … now?
Shoving my phone in the front pocket of my big hoodie, I jumped to my feet and yanked the kitchen blinds down so hard that they jangled crooked on their tracks.
Was he watching us now?
“What’s wrong with you?” Jackie asked.
“We were watching a horror movie. Angela and I were. The girl looked up and there was this creepy burned guy with this face pressed up to the window. I just looked out there,and it was so black and cold.” I thought of that night on the balcony of the Tabor Oaks, and Tabor’s face as he calmly looked at me. His handsome face, worse than any distorted rubber monster mask. My life was a horror movie. “Mom, I’m sorry. I have to prove to myself,” I said, improvising desperately. “I have to prove that I can go on without her, Mom. I have to prove that whatever Garrett Tabor and Juliet did together has nothing to do with me now. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea for us to try free diving now. But I’m grieving now. And I’m lonely now. And so is Rob.”
Don’t believe me
, I thought.
What I’m saying sounds nuts. Call me on it. I would collapse and just tell you
.
“What did Rob want?” my mother asked.
I had no idea what she meant. Then I realized she believed that the cascade of texts had come from Rob.
“I ask for a reason,” she added. “You’re not going anywhere tonight.”
“I won’t see Rob that much over Christmas …”
“You should have considered that before. It seems that for the past year, all you’ve done is risk your life in stupid ways.” Jackie got up, as well, and she got in my face, close to me. She had never spanked me or even given me a slap on the butt when I was a child. At this moment, it wasn’t out of the question that she would slug me. She was breathing hard. Her hair was sticking up like she’d tried to craft a faux-hawk for Halloween. “When is your birthday, Alexis?”
“That would be January eighteenth,” I said. “You were there, remember?”
Jackie grabbed my arm. “I don’t care how old you are. The day you turn eighteen is the next time you leave this house except for work. And I will drive you to work. Do you hear me? Do you?”
“I hear you,” I said. “I’m sorry.” For the first time since I was ten, I crossed my fingers behind my back. Now, I would have to evade not only the authorities, but Garrett Tabor and my mother to prove what I had seen. I would do it, though. I would do it somehow.
12
BREAKING UP
The next night, I asked Rob to buy me a camera. We were sitting alone, side by side on my bed, in the dark, music quietly playing from my dock.
“For your birthday?” he said. “I sort of had a plan for that, actually.”
“Well, I was thinking before. I was thinking for nothing. I’ve never asked anybody for anything in my life, like since I was little and wanted a Dracula’s Daughter doll. But I need a camera better than mine. I need a camera that does better video than mine.” I stopped and took his hand. “But that a dummy person like me could use.”
“No offense, Allie-Stair, but why are you asking me to buy you a camera? I don’t mean I won’t. I just wonder why, because you have money. I
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