What the (Bleep) Just Happened?

What the (Bleep) Just Happened? by Monica Crowley Page B

Book: What the (Bleep) Just Happened? by Monica Crowley Read Free Book Online
Authors: Monica Crowley
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    There was, however, another critical element to the kooks’ strategy, one that was even more important than the cult of personality opiate they kept mainlining to the masses. America had been hit with heroin, morphine, codeine, and finally Baracksycontin. And still, things were about to get worse. When it came time to discuss major policies, from the “stimulus” to ObamaCare to the budget and spending to the debt ceiling, the redistributionists made the Republicans and everyone else believe that they were engaged on the same playing field when, in reality, the kooks were on a different one entirely.
    Time and again, the Republicans took Obama at his word that he wanted real fiscal responsibility, deficit reduction, spending cuts, cost-containing health care reform, job creation, and economic growth. Time and again, they believed him when he said he was interested in their ideas and was willing to listen to them. And each time, the Republicans would ready their alternative market- and individual-based proposals, present them to Obama, and eagerly await his promised “conversation” about them, only to be met with a rolled-up newspaper slapped across their noses. The congressional Republicans received worse attention, harsher treatment, and less face time than Obama’s dog Bo. In fact, at one point Bo decided he was going to relieve himself inside the White House. Upon discovery, the president blamed the mess on Eric Cantor.
    The perfect symbol of the disconnect between what the kooks were actually doing and the Republicans’ naive belief that they were to be included in policy making was Representative Paul Ryan’s budget presentation in the spring of 2011. When the GOP took control of the House in January 2011, they began work on a budget. Ryan, the chairman of the House Budget Committee, had been working on budgetary issues for years and labored tirelessly on a major reform document that proposed serious spending cuts and structural changes to Medicare, Medicaid, and other entitlement programs in order to rescue them from the jaws of insolvency. Ryan, all boyish good looks and earnest demeanor, released the Republican budget and prepared for brutal political attacks but also at least serious engagement from the White House on the issues. He accepted Obama’s invitation to attend a major address by the president on spending and the deficit.
    Ryan was seated front and center, perhaps expecting to hear the president announce that he was finally ready to meet the GOP and him halfway in order to restore fiscal order. Instead, Ryan and his plan were met by a relentless barrage of partisan insults, policy attacks, and Obama’s own budget proposal that was so ludicrously budget-busting that it was later unanimously defeated in the Senate 97 to 0. Representative Ryan should have known something was amiss when he was seated in the “naughty chair” and forced to wear a KICK ME sign while Joe Biden tied Ryan’s shoelaces together. Ryan was by far the more thoughtful and mature of the two men in the room that day and the only one with a serious budget plan, but Obama assumed the Big Daddy persona and cast Ryan as the naive schoolboy who needed to be taught a lesson.
    Regardless of the issue, the president would blow a dog whistle and Republicans would eagerly come running to the table with their own ideas and proposals, only to be blown off in the most disrespectful and cavalier ways by Obama and the leftists. Obama never had any intention of reining in government, cutting spending, reducing the deficit, considering market-based ideas for health care reform, carrying out tax reform, or engaging in serious entitlement reform (see his immediate blow-off of his own deficit reduction commission, Simpson-Bowles). While he was busy “perfecting America” on one playing field, the Republicans were operating obliviously on another one. And the Republicans didn’t even realize they

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