pain.
Michelle saw the gold pill box cupped in her motherâs hand and refused.
Elyse slapped her.
Michelle felt the handprint rise like a hot brand on her cheek.
âGo away!â Elyse screamed.
Michelle stood frozen in fifth position until her mother swallowed the pills dry and pushed her out of the room. Michelle pounded against the door. There was no answer. She took a bobby pin from her pin curl and bit off the plastic tip. She jabbed the metal point in the keyhole until the lock clicked open. Then she pushed the door ajar and sat guard all night. The next night, Michelle waited until her mother went to bed, until she heard silence, then she picked the lock and crept inside. She put her hand to her motherâs mouth to make sure she was breathing. Then she opened the pillbox and counted her pills.
Michelle leaned her head back and tried to make sense of things. Here she was, outside her motherâs door again. But this was Nikkiâs roomâElyse was supposed to be at a hotel. As Michelle looked back at her motherâs moonlit silhouette, she felt grateful that the door hadnât been locked.
She could hear the crickets now, their song rising until the repetition was painful. Michelle pulled herself up against the smooth white wall and limped to the kitchen to get an ice pack. She tiptoed around shopping bags that hadnât been there when she fell asleep, then noticed the stolen attendance report on the dinette. Elyseâs cat-eye glasses lay on top. Michelle slipped them on.
The official record showed a week-long absence in October, a three-day suspension in November, and the semester ending with incompletes. Nikki could have run away any time after Thanksgiving.
Michelle turned the page and saw a spot of red. Another drop was on the table. For a moment, she feared her mother was hurt and felt that old familiar panic. Then she realized what she was looking at and flushed with anger. Michelle yanked the trash can open and saw the gleam of glass buried beneath crumpled napkins. She pulled out an empty bottle of Bordeaux.
Michelle strangled the wine bottle by the neck and stormed back into Nikkiâs room. She set the bottle down and shook her mother awake. Elyse pulled off her satin eye mask and sat up slowly.
Michelle held the bottle up. âBack to your old tricks, Mother?â
Elyse shook her head. âI had one glass and poured the rest out.â
âI donât believe you. Did you cancel your hotel room, or just pass out?â
Elyse pulled her silk robe over her matching peignoir and followed Michelle into the kitchen. The morning sky was beginning to glow through the window. Elyse checked to be sure she had filled the coffee machine, then pressed the button to brew. âFrench Roast?â
âOh, now itâs okay?â Michelle asked.
âAnything to help you calm down.â
âI heard you crying, Mother. Were you drunk?â
â Non, ma chérie, je suis très fatiguée . And I was upset.â
âUpset that Iâm no longer an invalid, so you canât tell me what to do?â
âDonât be rude,â Elyse said. âI know youâre tired, too, butââ
âIf you only had one glass of wine, why didnât you just cork the bottle?â
âI didnât want to leave any temptation for Tyler.â
âRight, because teenage boys have a real palate for Bordeaux.â Michelle opened the wrong cupboard for a coffee mug.
âYouâre overreacting,â Elyse said
âAm I? Nikki used to cry, too, you know. She got it from you.â
âShe was a teenage girl with raging hormones. Thatâs perfectly normal.â
Michelle slammed the cupboard. âShe cried a lot more than normal, Mother. Her own brother called her a loser. And you know what she wanted to do on her birthday? Watch Winnie the Pooh .â
âSo?â
âShe was sixteen.â
âEveryone needs a break
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