What a Mother Knows by Leslie Lehr Page A

pain.
    Michelle saw the gold pill box cupped in her mother’s hand and refused.
    Elyse slapped her.
    Michelle felt the handprint rise like a hot brand on her cheek.
    â€œGo away!” Elyse screamed.
    Michelle stood frozen in fifth position until her mother swallowed the pills dry and pushed her out of the room. Michelle pounded against the door. There was no answer. She took a bobby pin from her pin curl and bit off the plastic tip. She jabbed the metal point in the keyhole until the lock clicked open. Then she pushed the door ajar and sat guard all night. The next night, Michelle waited until her mother went to bed, until she heard silence, then she picked the lock and crept inside. She put her hand to her mother’s mouth to make sure she was breathing. Then she opened the pillbox and counted her pills.
    Michelle leaned her head back and tried to make sense of things. Here she was, outside her mother’s door again. But this was Nikki’s room—Elyse was supposed to be at a hotel. As Michelle looked back at her mother’s moonlit silhouette, she felt grateful that the door hadn’t been locked.
    She could hear the crickets now, their song rising until the repetition was painful. Michelle pulled herself up against the smooth white wall and limped to the kitchen to get an ice pack. She tiptoed around shopping bags that hadn’t been there when she fell asleep, then noticed the stolen attendance report on the dinette. Elyse’s cat-eye glasses lay on top. Michelle slipped them on.
    The official record showed a week-long absence in October, a three-day suspension in November, and the semester ending with incompletes. Nikki could have run away any time after Thanksgiving.
    Michelle turned the page and saw a spot of red. Another drop was on the table. For a moment, she feared her mother was hurt and felt that old familiar panic. Then she realized what she was looking at and flushed with anger. Michelle yanked the trash can open and saw the gleam of glass buried beneath crumpled napkins. She pulled out an empty bottle of Bordeaux.
    Michelle strangled the wine bottle by the neck and stormed back into Nikki’s room. She set the bottle down and shook her mother awake. Elyse pulled off her satin eye mask and sat up slowly.
    Michelle held the bottle up. “Back to your old tricks, Mother?”
    Elyse shook her head. “I had one glass and poured the rest out.”
    â€œI don’t believe you. Did you cancel your hotel room, or just pass out?”
    Elyse pulled her silk robe over her matching peignoir and followed Michelle into the kitchen. The morning sky was beginning to glow through the window. Elyse checked to be sure she had filled the coffee machine, then pressed the button to brew. “French Roast?”
    â€œOh, now it’s okay?” Michelle asked.
    â€œAnything to help you calm down.”
    â€œI heard you crying, Mother. Were you drunk?”
    â€œ Non, ma chérie, je suis très fatiguée . And I was upset.”
    â€œUpset that I’m no longer an invalid, so you can’t tell me what to do?”
    â€œDon’t be rude,” Elyse said. “I know you’re tired, too, but—”
    â€œIf you only had one glass of wine, why didn’t you just cork the bottle?”
    â€œI didn’t want to leave any temptation for Tyler.”
    â€œRight, because teenage boys have a real palate for Bordeaux.” Michelle opened the wrong cupboard for a coffee mug.
    â€œYou’re overreacting,” Elyse said
    â€œAm I? Nikki used to cry, too, you know. She got it from you.”
    â€œShe was a teenage girl with raging hormones. That’s perfectly normal.”
    Michelle slammed the cupboard. “She cried a lot more than normal, Mother. Her own brother called her a loser. And you know what she wanted to do on her birthday? Watch Winnie the Pooh .”
    â€œSo?”
    â€œShe was sixteen.”
    â€œEveryone needs a break