to talk about the fact my whole life the man that lived with me called me a piece of shit and my mom didn ' t do anything about it.
" I ' m cool. I ' m gonna go grab us a drink and some ice. " This time , it ' s me avoiding eye contact with her as I head over the connecting door and bang on it.
Sebastian jerks the door open. " What the hell , Jay. You ' re killing the mood over here. I was trying to romance my girl. "
" Don ' t listen to him , Jaden! " Aspen calls to me. " I ' m reading and he was passed out! "
" Whatever. " Bastian scratches his head. " Was just getting a little rest before the action started. "
I laugh at him. " Come on , Romeo ," I toss his word back from earlier. " Come get a soda and some ice with me. "
" Aww , the next thing we know they ' ll be going to the bathroom together , too! " Priscilla yells.
Aspen starts cracking up . " You guys are such good girlfriends! "
" Thanks , man. You just turned us into girl s . " Despite his words , Sebastian is pulling a shirt over his head and then following me.
" Ma wants you to call her ," Sebastian says as we start down the hall. " She said she tried your cell , but it ' s turned off. "
I forgot I ' d done that. I pull it out of my pocket. There ' s a missed call from Courtney , but no one else. " I will. "
" She said to tell you to keep that shit on. She wants to be able to be in touch with you. "
" Did she call it shit? "
" Ha ha . "
We get to the soda machine and I buy myself a Cherry Pepsi and water for Priscilla. " You want anything? "
" I got it. "
I don ' t know why , but his words bug me. " I can buy you guys a soda , asshole. "
" Dude , I totally just missed something. I never said you couldn ' t , but I also think I ' m pretty capable of putting a dollar in the machine , too. "
So I might have overreacted. Whatever.
" I really wish you ' d quite being all ‘I am island ' and talk to one of us about whatever the hell you ' ve got going on , Jay. Seriously. " Sebastian leans against the wall , opens his soda , and takes a drink.
His words not only shock me , but I ' m sort of grateful for them at the same time. I ' m not sure which emotion to focus on. " Love has turned you into a sap. Since when do you want to talk about what ' s in your heart or whatever? "
" Since I started to grow up. You should consider it sometime. Makes things a whole lot easier , Jay. "
The last person I need a lecture on growing up from is Sebastian. " Are we living on the same planet? You never take anything seriously. "
He takes another drink before replying. " I take Aspen seriously. My mom. Pris. And your dumb ass. Seriously , man. We ' ve had fun the past few days. Are you really going to bail? It ' s supposed to be the four of us. Don ' t pretend you ' re not having a good time with Pris. "
" You ' re the one who says I need to grow up. Maybe this is how I ' m doing it. You ' re not supposed to be with your best friends forever. That ' s not the way the real world works , Sebastian. Life might be easy for you , but it ' s not for the rest of us. " But I want it to be. I want to stay with you guys. I want to be someone.
" You ' re nothing but a waste of space. A loser. One of these days everyone is going to wake up and see that , you piece of shit. "
Is it so wrong to want to walk away before they do it? Before Priscilla ' s parents decide they don ' t want me around their daughter for more than just a stupid graduation party?
Sebastian shakes his head. " You ' re right , man. I couldn ' t possibly know what it ' s like to have a hard time. There ' s no way I could actually be there for you or some shit. You might as well keep it all locked in. It ' s better that way. "
My body is tense. Anger sweeps through me.
But it ' s also twined with the stupid feeling to open my mouth and talk to him. To tell him I don ' t feel right. Don ' t feel as good as them and that I can ' t shut up Mike ' s voice in my head. That I can ' t stop wondering if my
" I ' m cool. I ' m gonna go grab us a drink and some ice. " This time , it ' s me avoiding eye contact with her as I head over the connecting door and bang on it.
Sebastian jerks the door open. " What the hell , Jay. You ' re killing the mood over here. I was trying to romance my girl. "
" Don ' t listen to him , Jaden! " Aspen calls to me. " I ' m reading and he was passed out! "
" Whatever. " Bastian scratches his head. " Was just getting a little rest before the action started. "
I laugh at him. " Come on , Romeo ," I toss his word back from earlier. " Come get a soda and some ice with me. "
" Aww , the next thing we know they ' ll be going to the bathroom together , too! " Priscilla yells.
Aspen starts cracking up . " You guys are such good girlfriends! "
" Thanks , man. You just turned us into girl s . " Despite his words , Sebastian is pulling a shirt over his head and then following me.
" Ma wants you to call her ," Sebastian says as we start down the hall. " She said she tried your cell , but it ' s turned off. "
I forgot I ' d done that. I pull it out of my pocket. There ' s a missed call from Courtney , but no one else. " I will. "
" She said to tell you to keep that shit on. She wants to be able to be in touch with you. "
" Did she call it shit? "
" Ha ha . "
We get to the soda machine and I buy myself a Cherry Pepsi and water for Priscilla. " You want anything? "
" I got it. "
I don ' t know why , but his words bug me. " I can buy you guys a soda , asshole. "
" Dude , I totally just missed something. I never said you couldn ' t , but I also think I ' m pretty capable of putting a dollar in the machine , too. "
So I might have overreacted. Whatever.
" I really wish you ' d quite being all ‘I am island ' and talk to one of us about whatever the hell you ' ve got going on , Jay. Seriously. " Sebastian leans against the wall , opens his soda , and takes a drink.
His words not only shock me , but I ' m sort of grateful for them at the same time. I ' m not sure which emotion to focus on. " Love has turned you into a sap. Since when do you want to talk about what ' s in your heart or whatever? "
" Since I started to grow up. You should consider it sometime. Makes things a whole lot easier , Jay. "
The last person I need a lecture on growing up from is Sebastian. " Are we living on the same planet? You never take anything seriously. "
He takes another drink before replying. " I take Aspen seriously. My mom. Pris. And your dumb ass. Seriously , man. We ' ve had fun the past few days. Are you really going to bail? It ' s supposed to be the four of us. Don ' t pretend you ' re not having a good time with Pris. "
" You ' re the one who says I need to grow up. Maybe this is how I ' m doing it. You ' re not supposed to be with your best friends forever. That ' s not the way the real world works , Sebastian. Life might be easy for you , but it ' s not for the rest of us. " But I want it to be. I want to stay with you guys. I want to be someone.
" You ' re nothing but a waste of space. A loser. One of these days everyone is going to wake up and see that , you piece of shit. "
Is it so wrong to want to walk away before they do it? Before Priscilla ' s parents decide they don ' t want me around their daughter for more than just a stupid graduation party?
Sebastian shakes his head. " You ' re right , man. I couldn ' t possibly know what it ' s like to have a hard time. There ' s no way I could actually be there for you or some shit. You might as well keep it all locked in. It ' s better that way. "
My body is tense. Anger sweeps through me.
But it ' s also twined with the stupid feeling to open my mouth and talk to him. To tell him I don ' t feel right. Don ' t feel as good as them and that I can ' t shut up Mike ' s voice in my head. That I can ' t stop wondering if my
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