Whack 'n' Roll

Whack 'n' Roll by Gail Oust

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Authors: Gail Oust
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decisions. I closed my eyes and pointed.
    “That one,” I told the clerk.
    When I opened my eyes again, I said hello to my new fan. It was white; it had blades that whirled around. It was perfect.
    Then I heard the one word all shoppers fear: back-order .
    A glance at my watch told me I was running late. I didn’t have any more time to waste on a stupid fan, not with a town hall meeting in the offing. I left Lowe’s fanless and headed home. I arrived with only minutes to spare before Sheriff Wiggins was scheduled to address the good citizens of Serenity Cove Estates.
    The meeting was being held in the auditorium of the Recreation and Fitness Center. I was forced to park halfway on the grass at the end of the lot. The place was jammed just like I predicted. The custodian kept hauling extra chairs out of the storage room, but finally gave up. People were still filtering in, taking up spots along the walls and standing at the back of the room.
    Connie Sue stood and waved when she saw me. I made my way to the front, ignoring the dirty looks some people sent my way. Except for Diane and Tara, the Babes were there in full force. Since we were the ones to find the arm, we had a vested interest in the proceedings.
    “Saved a spot for you, sugar.” Connie Sue indicated a seat smack-dab in the middle of the front row, between her and Rita. Polly winked and gave me a thumbs-up as I scooted past her and Gloria. I spied Pam along with Megan several rows back. Monica, looking none too happy, was there, too.
    Rita and Connie Sue resumed their conversation where it had left off.
    “What do you suppose the sheriff’s going to tell us?”
    “Probably about what the campers found in the woods.”
    “Why do you suppose he’d call a town meeting when we could just read about it in the paper?”
    “I watched the noon news out of Augusta. Not a single word.”
    “Someone said the FBI’s been called in.”
    Listening to the two of them go back and forth, I felt like a spectator at a tennis match.
    Polly leaned forward and tapped me on the shoulder. “I heard the body’s Jimmy Hoffa’s.”
    “Mother, really . . . ,” Gloria remonstrated, sending her large gold hoop earrings swaying.
    Polly shrugged, nonplussed. “He’s got to be found somewhere. Why not here?”
    A hush started at the back of the room and worked its way forward like a tsunami. The time for speculation was over. Sheriff Wiggins strode into the room accompanied by the two deputies I had seen with him Saturday at the state park. I marveled at his effect over a crowd of people. He put me in mind of Tiger Woods. I had seen the same type of reaction when Jim and I watched Tiger stride up the fairway at the Masters the time we had been lucky enough to get tickets.
    The room was so still you could’ve heard a clock tick.
    Sheriff Sumter Wiggins went directly to the podium at the front. His coal black eyes swept over the assembled throng. I thought his gaze lingered a second or two longer on me, but then again I might be getting a little paranoid.
    He didn’t wait for an introduction, but started right in. “I’m glad to see such a good turnout. The purpose of this here meetin’ is threefold: First of all, I hope to put an end to some of the wild rumors that have been circulatin’ con cernin’ recent findings in and around Serenity Cove Estates.”
    “Does this rule out Jimmy Hoffa?” I heard Polly ask in a stage whisper.
    “Shhh!” I recognized the sound as Gloria’s.
    Our sheriff is no dummy. If he overheard any of this, he wisely ignored it. “Second, I want to bring you up to speed on the ongoing investigation and, last but not least, ask for your cooperation in bringin’ the perpetrator to justice.”
    A murmur passed through the crowd, followed once again by hushed silence.
    “As some of y’all already know, human remains were discovered by campers on Saturday at the state park.” His gaze flickered in my direction, then moved on. “Although we

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