Chapter One
I stood in the line, wiping at my eyes and trying to pretend I was invisible. Even in the mad crush of people, some were staring at me. It could have been the red-faced weeping. Or the trembling. Whatever it was that caught their attention, the looks of pity were excruciating.
I was feeling a strange combination of agony and numbness. Like my heart was broken, but it hurt too much to actually feel it. It was all too terrible to be real, but I couldn’t even soothe myself with thoughts that it was a nightmare. That I hadn’t lost everything that mattered in a moment of stupidity.
Before, when Dex and I were alone in that room, he sang to me and I felt like the world was full of possibilities. That I could be anything, do anything. The connection between us was strong and growing every minute. I was reveling in the wildness he brought out in me. I thought our reckless behavior was sexy, a sign of how much we meant to each other.
Now, nose running and eyes starting to swell shut from crying, I’d never been so humiliated or felt so stupid. And the worst part was I had no one but myself to blame.
From the first second I saw Dex I knew who he was. Every broken man-child I’d seen coming through my father’s life and studio growing up. Beautiful and enchanting. But deadly to the hearts of girls like me. Regular girls who could be drawn in, seduced by a spark of something special. He’d dragged me closer physically and emotionally until I was bared completely, defenseless, and giddy with the romance of it all. And then, the first time it mattered, the moment I needed him – he was gone.
I’d supported him, defended him, and helped him deal with his father’s illness and what had I gotten in return? Beautiful, empty words to a song.
The sight of my boss, Ryan catching us kissing flashed behind my eyes every time I closed them to shut out the world. He’d warned me, too. That Dex wouldn’t be on my side. That he wasn’t worth risking a job I loved. A future in the music business that was in my blood.
But did I listen? No. I knew better. No one else was with us when we were alone. No one understood the bond between us. How I understood Dex. How he cared for me.
What a joke. In the back of my mind I’d considered what might happen if we were found out. I imagined some dramatic confrontation. Dex and Ryan nose-to-nose. My boss seething, but resigned. And my lover – my first, my only lover – ferocious and protective.
But instead he’d slunk away and went back to the rest of the band. Back to the people he really cared about. And I was left alone.
“Miss, can I help you?”
I shook my head to clear it a little and looked up at the woman speaking to me. “What?”
“What can I do for you?”
“I-I need a new plane ticket. To America.”
She peered at me over wire-rimmed glasses for a long moment and then nodded. “There are not many options, I’m afraid. We have a number of cancellations and delays.”
“Yeah, I know. The storm. I’ll take whatever you’ve got. The first thing. I don’t care where it lands.”
“All right. May I have your ticket, please?”
I shoved it at her and sighed. As my head dipped my hair fell in my face. With a snarl of anger I yanked at it. Gathering the long blond locks at the nape of my neck, I twisted it hard into a bun. It was a motion that usually calmed me, but now it just infuriated. I’d let my hair down, literally and figuratively and now I was ruined. Going back to the States alone with nothing but shattered dreams. And, I realized, nowhere to live. My apartment in Los Angeles had been sublet and my stuff was all in storage. So much for this great adventure.
“Miss, I am very sorry, but I don’t think I can book you on anything until tomorrow.”
I fought back the urge to snap at her. She was just doing her job, trying to help me. “Oh. Well, okay.”
“If it helps, there are reports of tornado sightings nearby. I don’t think any flights
I stood in the line, wiping at my eyes and trying to pretend I was invisible. Even in the mad crush of people, some were staring at me. It could have been the red-faced weeping. Or the trembling. Whatever it was that caught their attention, the looks of pity were excruciating.
I was feeling a strange combination of agony and numbness. Like my heart was broken, but it hurt too much to actually feel it. It was all too terrible to be real, but I couldn’t even soothe myself with thoughts that it was a nightmare. That I hadn’t lost everything that mattered in a moment of stupidity.
Before, when Dex and I were alone in that room, he sang to me and I felt like the world was full of possibilities. That I could be anything, do anything. The connection between us was strong and growing every minute. I was reveling in the wildness he brought out in me. I thought our reckless behavior was sexy, a sign of how much we meant to each other.
Now, nose running and eyes starting to swell shut from crying, I’d never been so humiliated or felt so stupid. And the worst part was I had no one but myself to blame.
From the first second I saw Dex I knew who he was. Every broken man-child I’d seen coming through my father’s life and studio growing up. Beautiful and enchanting. But deadly to the hearts of girls like me. Regular girls who could be drawn in, seduced by a spark of something special. He’d dragged me closer physically and emotionally until I was bared completely, defenseless, and giddy with the romance of it all. And then, the first time it mattered, the moment I needed him – he was gone.
I’d supported him, defended him, and helped him deal with his father’s illness and what had I gotten in return? Beautiful, empty words to a song.
The sight of my boss, Ryan catching us kissing flashed behind my eyes every time I closed them to shut out the world. He’d warned me, too. That Dex wouldn’t be on my side. That he wasn’t worth risking a job I loved. A future in the music business that was in my blood.
But did I listen? No. I knew better. No one else was with us when we were alone. No one understood the bond between us. How I understood Dex. How he cared for me.
What a joke. In the back of my mind I’d considered what might happen if we were found out. I imagined some dramatic confrontation. Dex and Ryan nose-to-nose. My boss seething, but resigned. And my lover – my first, my only lover – ferocious and protective.
But instead he’d slunk away and went back to the rest of the band. Back to the people he really cared about. And I was left alone.
“Miss, can I help you?”
I shook my head to clear it a little and looked up at the woman speaking to me. “What?”
“What can I do for you?”
“I-I need a new plane ticket. To America.”
She peered at me over wire-rimmed glasses for a long moment and then nodded. “There are not many options, I’m afraid. We have a number of cancellations and delays.”
“Yeah, I know. The storm. I’ll take whatever you’ve got. The first thing. I don’t care where it lands.”
“All right. May I have your ticket, please?”
I shoved it at her and sighed. As my head dipped my hair fell in my face. With a snarl of anger I yanked at it. Gathering the long blond locks at the nape of my neck, I twisted it hard into a bun. It was a motion that usually calmed me, but now it just infuriated. I’d let my hair down, literally and figuratively and now I was ruined. Going back to the States alone with nothing but shattered dreams. And, I realized, nowhere to live. My apartment in Los Angeles had been sublet and my stuff was all in storage. So much for this great adventure.
“Miss, I am very sorry, but I don’t think I can book you on anything until tomorrow.”
I fought back the urge to snap at her. She was just doing her job, trying to help me. “Oh. Well, okay.”
“If it helps, there are reports of tornado sightings nearby. I don’t think any flights
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