and I rose shakily to my feet, only to be knocked down again by Flo, who had commandeered the luggage tug and drove it into me. Not hard, but still.
“Get in, Crash,” she commanded. She did not have to tell me twice. She hit the gas and we drove off to the frustrated profanities of the ramp agent behind us. I looked back to register the four flat luggage carts still attached to the tow tug. The last two contained the five remaining transport caskets.
“Where to?” she asked.
“North 90,” I answered.
CHAPTER 11
North 90 was short for “North 90 Virginia Loop,” the address of a surplus hangar left over from the Second World War that was still located on the airport grounds, which by no means meant it was nearby. The Atlanta airport was the busiest airport in the world, and its grounds covered almost 133 square miles and spanned three separate city limits. (One tends to forget how huge these international airports actually are.) I knew North 90 was presently practically abandoned now that the repairs were finished with the aircraft it housed. I thought it would make a good place to pull in a tug train and pry open some coffins.
North 90 had undergone a number of renovations and uses over the decades, having been appropriated by a bevy of eye-blink airlines that have come into and gone out of business in that time. (Hooters Air, anyone?) WorldAir had owned it since the early fifties, and made good money leasing it to these corporations. During my brief tenure as a board member, I liked to dive into the company archives to look up as much of the history as I could. Much of this information was public information, but not attainable in digital format, which meant you couldn’t find it online. These days if you can’t click on something it might as well not exist. I know I sound like a get-off-my-lawn old fart when I say that, but it really does seem like the truth is not so much hard to find as it is just neglected and ignored. It was like catnip for me to forage through these records that hadn’t been touched in half a century. Taped to the window frame above my desk in Officer Ned’s office was a list of the six crazy fly-by-night airlines that WorldAir has leased North 90 to since the seventies.
6 CRAZY FLY-BY-NIGHT AIRLINES TO WHICH WORLDAIR HAS LEASED HANGAR SPACE
Hooters Air —The worst part of this airline, if you ask me, is that they made the public think the half-naked waitresses on board were actually flight attendants. They weren’t. I’m surprised this airline lasted three years.
Naked-Air —This nudist airline existed exactly one day.
Pet Airways —For the kind of pet fanatics who serve their show dogs filet mignon.
Erotic Airways —The sole purpose of this airline was to indoctrinate willing partners into the Mile-High Club. The pilots didn’t even log a destination when they took off. They just took off, circled around, and came back. It folded after four days.
Smokers Express —A smokers-only airline that didn’t even last a day. The executive who thought of it couldn’t get the backing to get it off the ground.
Argyle Air —This was started by a company known for its clothing, which I guess is just as good as an airline started by a company known for its hot wings.
Today North 90 was being used to repair the infamous L-1011 that fell apart above Albuquerque last year. You’d think that crashed-up airplanes would go straight to the scrapyard, but banged-up aircraft are salvaged all the time. In the eighties a Boeing 737 crashed in the Andes mountains, killing half the people aboard and completely shearing off the left wing and landing gear. That aircraft was cargoed off to the salvage yard and welded to the remains of others to make an airworthy facsimile of itself. Typically it was then sold to a lesser airline, as it was unusual for a major airline to reintegrate a crash-repaired airplane back into its own fleet. Maybe the reason for this had something to do with
“Get in, Crash,” she commanded. She did not have to tell me twice. She hit the gas and we drove off to the frustrated profanities of the ramp agent behind us. I looked back to register the four flat luggage carts still attached to the tow tug. The last two contained the five remaining transport caskets.
“Where to?” she asked.
“North 90,” I answered.
CHAPTER 11
North 90 was short for “North 90 Virginia Loop,” the address of a surplus hangar left over from the Second World War that was still located on the airport grounds, which by no means meant it was nearby. The Atlanta airport was the busiest airport in the world, and its grounds covered almost 133 square miles and spanned three separate city limits. (One tends to forget how huge these international airports actually are.) I knew North 90 was presently practically abandoned now that the repairs were finished with the aircraft it housed. I thought it would make a good place to pull in a tug train and pry open some coffins.
North 90 had undergone a number of renovations and uses over the decades, having been appropriated by a bevy of eye-blink airlines that have come into and gone out of business in that time. (Hooters Air, anyone?) WorldAir had owned it since the early fifties, and made good money leasing it to these corporations. During my brief tenure as a board member, I liked to dive into the company archives to look up as much of the history as I could. Much of this information was public information, but not attainable in digital format, which meant you couldn’t find it online. These days if you can’t click on something it might as well not exist. I know I sound like a get-off-my-lawn old fart when I say that, but it really does seem like the truth is not so much hard to find as it is just neglected and ignored. It was like catnip for me to forage through these records that hadn’t been touched in half a century. Taped to the window frame above my desk in Officer Ned’s office was a list of the six crazy fly-by-night airlines that WorldAir has leased North 90 to since the seventies.
6 CRAZY FLY-BY-NIGHT AIRLINES TO WHICH WORLDAIR HAS LEASED HANGAR SPACE
Hooters Air —The worst part of this airline, if you ask me, is that they made the public think the half-naked waitresses on board were actually flight attendants. They weren’t. I’m surprised this airline lasted three years.
Naked-Air —This nudist airline existed exactly one day.
Pet Airways —For the kind of pet fanatics who serve their show dogs filet mignon.
Erotic Airways —The sole purpose of this airline was to indoctrinate willing partners into the Mile-High Club. The pilots didn’t even log a destination when they took off. They just took off, circled around, and came back. It folded after four days.
Smokers Express —A smokers-only airline that didn’t even last a day. The executive who thought of it couldn’t get the backing to get it off the ground.
Argyle Air —This was started by a company known for its clothing, which I guess is just as good as an airline started by a company known for its hot wings.
Today North 90 was being used to repair the infamous L-1011 that fell apart above Albuquerque last year. You’d think that crashed-up airplanes would go straight to the scrapyard, but banged-up aircraft are salvaged all the time. In the eighties a Boeing 737 crashed in the Andes mountains, killing half the people aboard and completely shearing off the left wing and landing gear. That aircraft was cargoed off to the salvage yard and welded to the remains of others to make an airworthy facsimile of itself. Typically it was then sold to a lesser airline, as it was unusual for a major airline to reintegrate a crash-repaired airplane back into its own fleet. Maybe the reason for this had something to do with
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