Waves of Light by Naomi Kinsman Page B

weren’t, I’d understand.” Dad rubbed his hand across the steering wheel. “We both want Mom to come home, and I know the flood was a huge blow for you.”
    I shrugged. “I’m fine” slipped out pretty easily now, but a further explanation might break down the wall I’d carefully constructed. And that couldn’t happen — not even with Dad. I needed that wall right now, especially now, on our way to see Annabelle.
    “It’s okay to feel upset, Sadie. To let people help you,” Dad said, as though he’d read my mind.
    Maybe. But how could anyone help me? Annabelle was here to stay, Andrew felt whatever he felt about her, the flood damage couldn’t be undone, and Mom probably wasn’t going to get any better — at least not the way I wanted her to. I could whine and complain all I wanted, but none of those facts would change.
    Life just wasn’t fair. I’d told Frankie that unfairness was an opportunity for something better; now I wasn’t so sure. In fact, I was almost convinced I’d been flat-out wrong.Maybe I should tell Frankie that tonight when I sent her whatever drawing I was supposed to send to her.
    When I’d originally planned the hunt, I’d planned to send her hopeful pictures. Images to remind her that life isn’t always disappointing. Now, though, I was pretty sure life was simply unfair and you had to deal. No silver lining.
    “Penny for your thoughts?” Dad said.
    I scratched Higgy’s ear, trying to get a grip on my emotions. “Umm … Viv’s statues. Andrew thinks the force of the flood will have cracked them all. Do you think that’s true?”
    “That’s highly likely. Vivian is almost sure they’re all gone. But she loves to reuse things. So even if we can’t salvage the statues, it’s worth looking for any ceramic pieces we can save.”
    “She won’t want to use them, will she?” I frowned. “They’d be reminders of what happened.”
    Dad pulled into Vivian’s driveway. “It can’t hurt to find what’s here, no matter what.”
    I climbed out and went directly to the area where the statues were buried. No one was here yet, and I was glad Dad had pushed me to hurry. I looped Higgins’s leash around a nearby tree and went back to the Jeep for the shovel.
    “I’m going to start over by the house,” Dad said. “You’ll be all right on your own?”
    “Yeah. Higgy’s here to keep me company.”
    Fortunately, it hadn’t rained for the past few days, so the dirt was relatively dry as I started digging. Farther down,though, it was still damp, and I was head-to-toe mud by the time Annabelle and Andrew arrived. Together, of course.
    I pushed the shovel into the ground and wiped sweat off my forehead with my sleeve as they got out of Helen’s car. I was most likely just smearing mud across my face. My almost-unburied statue looked good, though. No cracks to be seen. Maybe I could at least prove Andrew wrong.
    Annabelle walked over to me while Andrew went to talk with Dad. “Wow, look at you! Is it broken?
    I looked down at the mud-caked statue. “So far so good.”
    Annabelle crouched down to look closer. “What’s that, though?”
    I knelt down too. A ragged crack showed just above the dirt line. The mud held the statue together now, but soon, once I’d cleared it all away, the statue would topple.
    “It’s still worth unburying, though.” Annabelle gave me a sympathetic smile. “She might be able to patch it, or use parts of it, or something.”
    A long-ago conversation with Vivian came back to me. She’d forced me to draw over my mistakes, no matter what happened, and make art out of the mess. The statue, coated with grime and cracked in at least one crucial place, was too much to salvage. It would be like trying to patch your heart together after it had been ripped in two. Suddenly, I couldn’t bear this anymore. I didn’t want to dig up statues. I understood why Vivian had simply walked away. Better to start over than deal with this kind of