had quickly spread and Splinter called me. I couldn’t help but answer. I wanted to hear his voice. Now that I knew I wasn’t going to burn alive, I had plenty of things I wanted to say.
“Bea, I’m coming to stay with you,” was the first thing he said to me, and of course it was the wrong thing to say.
“No, don’t come to me. I’m leaving.”
“What? Where are you going?”
“I’m going to Scotland.”
“ Scotland? Why Scotland?”
“Because I have family there, and I need to run away for a bit.”
“Bea, please stay and we’ll figure things out.”
“I can’t figure things out right now. Not with you or with Ben trying to figure things out with me. I need to find myself again. I need to find something worth fighting for.”
“Are you coming back?” That seemed to be the question everyone was asking lately.
“Yes, I don’t know when I’ll be back though.”
“Well, when you come back will you see me?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you when you come back. But, Splinter—”
“Don’t say anything tonight. You almost died. I don’t want you to say something because you think you’re going to die.”
I laughed, and soon enough the tears started up again. “I want to tell you what I should have told you before.”
“What is that?”
“That I love you, God dammit.” My words shocked not only me, but Splinter as well. “I love you, okay? And it’s scarier than dying. It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever done. When I was tied to that chair thinking I would be found as nothing but dust and ash, all I could think about was how I loved you. I need to get away, but I want to come back to you.”
“Bea, hold that thought.”
I heard something hit my window. Turning to look at it with fear in my eyes, I went to the window in my bedroom and saw Splinter down below the fire escape, smiling in the dark.
“I’ve always wanted to sneak up a girl’s fire escape.”
“No need to sneak. Get your ass up here.” I hung up the phone. When he made it through the window, I wrapped my arms around him and I refused to let go. Soon enough we had moved from the window to my bed, and as I kissed him he took off my clothes, and I took off his. Sex never meant much to me before. But tonight I was as good as dead, and I was having sex with someone I loved. It meant something more than it ever had to me before. I didn’t hold back, and neither did he. When we finally decided we were exhausted, we collapsed into the comfort of my bed and snuggled up together.
“How is this part so easy when the rest of it is so complicated?” I asked Splinter. Then I heard a soft snore, and I knew he had fallen asleep with me securely in his arms. I decided I should do the same, since I didn’t know when I’d get to do it again.
Because even though I loved him and was with him tonight, I didn’t know if I’d feel the same in the morning.
When we woke up, we caressed one another in place of speaking. I was afraid to speak, so caressing his arm seemed better than telling him what was on my mind. He was playing with my hair while my head rested on his chest, and the one thing that made us separate was our phones ringing. When I answered mine, it was Ben.
“You need to start packing. You’ll leave tomorrow,” he told me.
“Okay. Sounds good.”
“You still want to go, right?”
I looked back to see Splinter’s back facing me as he was hunched over, talking to someone on his phone. “Yeah. I still want to go.”
“Okay, good. Oh, have you heard from Splinter?”
My insides leaped, and I bit my lip.
“I talked to him, but I haven’t seen him.”
“Okay, I hope he doesn’t screw up this meeting I arranged for him.”
“What meeting?”
“A meeting with Eden Sank’s home label. He might get a band centered around him.”
“R-Really?”
“Yeah. He needs to answer his phone.”
“Well, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Alright. See you tomorrow. Bye.”
“Bye.” I hung up,
“Bea, I’m coming to stay with you,” was the first thing he said to me, and of course it was the wrong thing to say.
“No, don’t come to me. I’m leaving.”
“What? Where are you going?”
“I’m going to Scotland.”
“ Scotland? Why Scotland?”
“Because I have family there, and I need to run away for a bit.”
“Bea, please stay and we’ll figure things out.”
“I can’t figure things out right now. Not with you or with Ben trying to figure things out with me. I need to find myself again. I need to find something worth fighting for.”
“Are you coming back?” That seemed to be the question everyone was asking lately.
“Yes, I don’t know when I’ll be back though.”
“Well, when you come back will you see me?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you when you come back. But, Splinter—”
“Don’t say anything tonight. You almost died. I don’t want you to say something because you think you’re going to die.”
I laughed, and soon enough the tears started up again. “I want to tell you what I should have told you before.”
“What is that?”
“That I love you, God dammit.” My words shocked not only me, but Splinter as well. “I love you, okay? And it’s scarier than dying. It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever done. When I was tied to that chair thinking I would be found as nothing but dust and ash, all I could think about was how I loved you. I need to get away, but I want to come back to you.”
“Bea, hold that thought.”
I heard something hit my window. Turning to look at it with fear in my eyes, I went to the window in my bedroom and saw Splinter down below the fire escape, smiling in the dark.
“I’ve always wanted to sneak up a girl’s fire escape.”
“No need to sneak. Get your ass up here.” I hung up the phone. When he made it through the window, I wrapped my arms around him and I refused to let go. Soon enough we had moved from the window to my bed, and as I kissed him he took off my clothes, and I took off his. Sex never meant much to me before. But tonight I was as good as dead, and I was having sex with someone I loved. It meant something more than it ever had to me before. I didn’t hold back, and neither did he. When we finally decided we were exhausted, we collapsed into the comfort of my bed and snuggled up together.
“How is this part so easy when the rest of it is so complicated?” I asked Splinter. Then I heard a soft snore, and I knew he had fallen asleep with me securely in his arms. I decided I should do the same, since I didn’t know when I’d get to do it again.
Because even though I loved him and was with him tonight, I didn’t know if I’d feel the same in the morning.
When we woke up, we caressed one another in place of speaking. I was afraid to speak, so caressing his arm seemed better than telling him what was on my mind. He was playing with my hair while my head rested on his chest, and the one thing that made us separate was our phones ringing. When I answered mine, it was Ben.
“You need to start packing. You’ll leave tomorrow,” he told me.
“Okay. Sounds good.”
“You still want to go, right?”
I looked back to see Splinter’s back facing me as he was hunched over, talking to someone on his phone. “Yeah. I still want to go.”
“Okay, good. Oh, have you heard from Splinter?”
My insides leaped, and I bit my lip.
“I talked to him, but I haven’t seen him.”
“Okay, I hope he doesn’t screw up this meeting I arranged for him.”
“What meeting?”
“A meeting with Eden Sank’s home label. He might get a band centered around him.”
“R-Really?”
“Yeah. He needs to answer his phone.”
“Well, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Alright. See you tomorrow. Bye.”
“Bye.” I hung up,
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