War-N-Wit, Inc. – MeanStreet, LLC by Gail Roughton

your ass back to human—or angel—or whatever the hell it is form and start talkin’. In English.”
     
    * * *
     
    Lucifer frowned and looked up from the paperwork on his desk. New contracts were a bitch to review. What the hell was all the commotion coming from his assistant’s desk out front?
    “You can’t just barge in here without an appointment! The boss is a busy man!”
    “Watch us.”
    The door swung open and the Smith brothers sauntered in.
    “Yo, Lucy! Whut up, dude?”
    “Well, well, long time no see, huh, Lucy?”
    “You still loosey-goosey, Lucy?”
    “ Don’t call me Lucy! I hate it when you call me Lucy!”
    “Stop grinding your teeth, Lucy, you know that causes all kind of dental problems.” Rafael smiled and sat down in one of the arm chairs in front of Lucifer’s desk, draping his left leg casually over the arm.
    Gabriel plopped down in the other arm chair and draped his right leg casually over the arm.
    “Well, that’s just rude, you guys taking both the good chairs.” Michael pulled up a straight-backed side chair, twirled it around, and sat down with his feet draped around the sides and hands folded across the chair back, chin resting on his folded hands.
    “ How’d you get in here? This is my turf. The Grand Conductor brother-proofed the boundaries so we couldn’t cross between your territories and mine. But since you did, you know you broke the treaty and I’m not bound by any of its terms, right?”
    “Listen up, bro ,” said Gabriel. “ You broke the treaty. And we know it. We found your little back door, we’ve always known you had one. You’ve been using it for years. You really thought you were slipping that over on us? So all rules are off already.”
    Lucifer leaned back in his deluxe desk chair. “Really? So if you’ve always known, why wait till now to do something about it?”
    Rafael laughed. “Because you’re just so damn cute when you go out in disguise, Lucy! I mean, some of those outfits! Really? But this one—this one we can’t let pass for ol’ times sake, bro, sorry. So spill it.”
    Lucifer raised his eyebrow. “Spill what?”
    “That damn raised eyebrow was always your giveaway, Lucy.” Michael stood up and flipped the chair away. He walked up to Lucy’s desk and slammed his hands down on the surface. “We know about the inter-dimensional breaches. All three of them. Inter-dimensional breaches only happen when one of us fall. You already been there, done that. So who’s fallen? And why’d you want him to?”
    “ Aren’t you giving me too much credit? Why’d you think I wanted anybody else to fall?”
    Rafael stood up and slammed his hands down on the desk. “Because we got long memories, Lucy. About you and that Razkaal head honcho. And how well you got along. About how similar the Razkaal dimension is to your turf. About how fond the Razkaal demons are of humans. And why.”
    Gabriel joined the circle of slammed hands on the desk. “You and the Razkaal man? Marriage made in Hell. But you can’t really get together without another breach. And you can’t make one big enough by yourself. Not again. So you need somebody else to. We’re pretty sure we know who. But being the good guys just sucks sometimes. Can’t just go around accusing falsely, you know.”
    “And you think I give a damn about your little ethical dilemma?”
    “Oh, hell no. You don’t give a damn about anything or anybody except your own little deals. And we’re about to put toot finite on one of those deals, ‘cause we know damn well it involves those breaches. And we’re about to seal them. Permanently. You might have cooked your goose with the Grand Conductor on this one, bro.”
    “Oh!” Lucy clutched his heart. “I’m scared! Stop!” He laughed. “I’m safe as Fort Knox, bro. Remember last time? Even the Grand Conductor said it. There has to be a balance between darkness and light. And I’m it. My whole raison d'être . Without me, there’s no