Conway.”
He looked me in the eye. Blue eyes, just like mine. “Well, we Gentrys are just full of unhappy accidents, huh?”
I didn’t understand his meaning but there was nothing to be gained by challenging him. “If you say so.”
Con exhaled and closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them again there was pain there.
“Look,” he said. “I don’t want to get into this with you. Or Deck. Or anyone else. I’m glad you’re out of there, all right? I am.”
I was suddenly hopeful. Underneath this armor of hostility he was still Con. “Well, that’s a start.”
“No, not a start. That’s all there is.”
“What does that mean?”
A flash of blue fabric got my attention. It was Evie, arriving with two glasses of iced lemonade.
“Thought you guys might be thirsty,” she said as she handed them over. Her eyes lingered on me and I gave her a nod of reassurance to let her know everything was all right. She smiled and headed back to the group without saying anything else, likely realizing this was not the time for introductions.
Con drained his glass in a few seconds and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “That piece yours?” he asked, pointing to Evie.
I glared at him. “She’s a friend.”
Con looked her up and down. “Looks kind of uptight but not a bad view.”
When I didn’t answer Con laughed at me. “If you’re looking for some hot action, boy, you can borrow one of those.” He gestured lazily to the girls he’d brought. They were eating hamburgers and laughing at something Truly was saying. The two of them were probably all right and were hanging around Con because they thought he liked them.
“They’ll do anything you want,” he whispered conspiratorially. “Anything.”
“I’ll pass,” I said, feeling a bit queasy about my brother’s newfound lack of respect for women. He hadn’t been like this before. Back in high school I was always the one tapping whatever I could get wherever I could get it, promising all kinds of things I didn’t mean to girls I cared nothing about. Con was the opposite. He was faithful to his longtime girlfriend. The easiest way to infuriate him was to tease him about the fact that they’d never even had sex. He loved her that much, enough to wait forever. Con was one of the rare good guys, or at least he used to be.
I put my glass down on the weather-worn table. I was trying to choose my words carefully, but I needed to say something. I didn’t know how long he’d stay.
“Conway, I know we can’t get back to what we were. I don’t expect that. I’m not even asking that. But there’s a lot of life still left. We can get through it together.”
“I told you,” he said coldly. “I’m glad you’re out. But that’s all there is.”
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
Con scratched his chin. “It means I just don’t have a war chest full of feelings to offer you, Stonewall. We’re not gonna hug and cry and skip off into the sunset to go catch lizards in the canal like we’re ten fucking years old.” He shook his head. “It won’t work. Best if you just keep your distance.”
“I’m not asking anything from you. I just want to be in your life.”
He chewed on that for a moment. “You’re on parole, Stone.”
“Yeah. So what?”
“So certain kinds of trouble can send you right back to where you were.”
I froze. He didn’t mean it. He couldn’t. “That sounds like a threat.”
“No.” He stood up and jammed his hands in his pockets. “It’s the opposite of a threat.”
The bitter taste in my mouth had nothing to do with the lemonade. Somewhere deep in the back of my throat a sob threatened to escape. The only words I had left for him came out in a whisper. “I miss you, Con.”
He shook his head once more. “Don’t,” he said
He looked me in the eye. Blue eyes, just like mine. “Well, we Gentrys are just full of unhappy accidents, huh?”
I didn’t understand his meaning but there was nothing to be gained by challenging him. “If you say so.”
Con exhaled and closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them again there was pain there.
“Look,” he said. “I don’t want to get into this with you. Or Deck. Or anyone else. I’m glad you’re out of there, all right? I am.”
I was suddenly hopeful. Underneath this armor of hostility he was still Con. “Well, that’s a start.”
“No, not a start. That’s all there is.”
“What does that mean?”
A flash of blue fabric got my attention. It was Evie, arriving with two glasses of iced lemonade.
“Thought you guys might be thirsty,” she said as she handed them over. Her eyes lingered on me and I gave her a nod of reassurance to let her know everything was all right. She smiled and headed back to the group without saying anything else, likely realizing this was not the time for introductions.
Con drained his glass in a few seconds and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “That piece yours?” he asked, pointing to Evie.
I glared at him. “She’s a friend.”
Con looked her up and down. “Looks kind of uptight but not a bad view.”
When I didn’t answer Con laughed at me. “If you’re looking for some hot action, boy, you can borrow one of those.” He gestured lazily to the girls he’d brought. They were eating hamburgers and laughing at something Truly was saying. The two of them were probably all right and were hanging around Con because they thought he liked them.
“They’ll do anything you want,” he whispered conspiratorially. “Anything.”
“I’ll pass,” I said, feeling a bit queasy about my brother’s newfound lack of respect for women. He hadn’t been like this before. Back in high school I was always the one tapping whatever I could get wherever I could get it, promising all kinds of things I didn’t mean to girls I cared nothing about. Con was the opposite. He was faithful to his longtime girlfriend. The easiest way to infuriate him was to tease him about the fact that they’d never even had sex. He loved her that much, enough to wait forever. Con was one of the rare good guys, or at least he used to be.
I put my glass down on the weather-worn table. I was trying to choose my words carefully, but I needed to say something. I didn’t know how long he’d stay.
“Conway, I know we can’t get back to what we were. I don’t expect that. I’m not even asking that. But there’s a lot of life still left. We can get through it together.”
“I told you,” he said coldly. “I’m glad you’re out. But that’s all there is.”
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
Con scratched his chin. “It means I just don’t have a war chest full of feelings to offer you, Stonewall. We’re not gonna hug and cry and skip off into the sunset to go catch lizards in the canal like we’re ten fucking years old.” He shook his head. “It won’t work. Best if you just keep your distance.”
“I’m not asking anything from you. I just want to be in your life.”
He chewed on that for a moment. “You’re on parole, Stone.”
“Yeah. So what?”
“So certain kinds of trouble can send you right back to where you were.”
I froze. He didn’t mean it. He couldn’t. “That sounds like a threat.”
“No.” He stood up and jammed his hands in his pockets. “It’s the opposite of a threat.”
The bitter taste in my mouth had nothing to do with the lemonade. Somewhere deep in the back of my throat a sob threatened to escape. The only words I had left for him came out in a whisper. “I miss you, Con.”
He shook his head once more. “Don’t,” he said
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