Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences by Laura Carpenter Page B
Authors: Laura Carpenter
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definitions of “sex.” 19
More Than One Virginity Loss
Given the myriad changes in understandings of sex and sexuality in re- cent history, one might expect that American youth would be on the verge of abandoning the concept of virginity loss as outdated or irrelevant. My research suggests that, on the contrary, young people are in the process of redefining virginity loss. Although vaginal sex still epitomizes virginity loss to most Americans, the definition is expanding and becoming more flexible, inclusive, and individualized overall. I observed a clear genera- tional difference among the men and women I interviewed, with those born between 1973 and 1980 being more likely to allow for the possibil- ity of virginity loss between same-sex partners, to exclude nonconsensual sex from their definitions, and to accept the possibility of resuming vir- ginity than were people born between 1962 and 1972.
The increasing visibility of lesbigay people and new patterns of com- ing out brought about by gay rights activism and the HIV/AIDS epidemic have also contributed to new definitions encompassing virginity loss be- tween same-sex partners. Feminist theories of rape have paved the way for definitions that exclude nonconsensual sex, while the resurgence of conservative Christianity has helped to popularize the idea that virginity can be regained and lost anew. Although today’s young Americans follow their post-Victorian forbears in defining virginity loss primarily in terms of specific bodily acts, social and psychological criteria are enjoying a re- naissance with respect to nonconsensual sex and secondary virginity. Cri- teria emphasizing spiritual and moral contamination may be making a comeback among a minority of very conservative Christians.
In addition to redefining virginity loss in response to a changing social landscape, young Americans are also in the process of interpreting vir- ginity loss in more individualized ways. The women and men I spoke with made sense of virginity loss through four primary metaphorical frames, comparing virginity to a gift, a stigma, a process/rite of passage, or an act of worship. Although these metaphors have historically been associated with particular genders, religious beliefs, and other aspects of social iden- tity, my research suggests that these links are weakening and growing more flexible over time. In the next few chapters, I will explore in depth
the most common ways that virginity loss is understood today. Each chapter examines the distinctive constellations of beliefs and behaviors associated with a metaphor, showing how they produce characteristic tra- jectories—some positive, some negative—before, during, and after vir- ginity loss.
3
A Gift of One’s Own
Was Britney Spears really a virgin until the age of 21? From 1992 to 1994, preteen Britney epitomized wholesome American girlhood as a Mouseke- teer on Disney TV’s revival of The Mickey Mouse Club. The young girls who admired Spears then helped propel her to superstardom a few years later, buying her first album and mimicking her wardrobe and dance moves by the millions. When Spears’s debut single reached No. 8 on Bill- board ’s pop charts at the end of 1998, she was not yet 17. 1 By 2000, the 18-year-old Spears boasted a decidedly sexy public persona, strutting the stage in skin-tight leather while crooning lyrics like “I’m not that inno- cent” and “I’m a slave for you.”
In the first flush of success, Britney embraced the job of teen role model, explaining to a reporter from Rolling Stone, “You want to be a good example for kids out there and not do something stupid.” 2 Among her exemplary attributes were regular church attendance and disapproval of smoking, drinking, and premarital sex. A fawning 1999 biography told of the 17-year-old innocently flirting with members of the popular boy band ’N Sync while on tour as their opening act, and “blushing” to admit that she’d kissed
More Than One Virginity Loss
Given the myriad changes in understandings of sex and sexuality in re- cent history, one might expect that American youth would be on the verge of abandoning the concept of virginity loss as outdated or irrelevant. My research suggests that, on the contrary, young people are in the process of redefining virginity loss. Although vaginal sex still epitomizes virginity loss to most Americans, the definition is expanding and becoming more flexible, inclusive, and individualized overall. I observed a clear genera- tional difference among the men and women I interviewed, with those born between 1973 and 1980 being more likely to allow for the possibil- ity of virginity loss between same-sex partners, to exclude nonconsensual sex from their definitions, and to accept the possibility of resuming vir- ginity than were people born between 1962 and 1972.
The increasing visibility of lesbigay people and new patterns of com- ing out brought about by gay rights activism and the HIV/AIDS epidemic have also contributed to new definitions encompassing virginity loss be- tween same-sex partners. Feminist theories of rape have paved the way for definitions that exclude nonconsensual sex, while the resurgence of conservative Christianity has helped to popularize the idea that virginity can be regained and lost anew. Although today’s young Americans follow their post-Victorian forbears in defining virginity loss primarily in terms of specific bodily acts, social and psychological criteria are enjoying a re- naissance with respect to nonconsensual sex and secondary virginity. Cri- teria emphasizing spiritual and moral contamination may be making a comeback among a minority of very conservative Christians.
In addition to redefining virginity loss in response to a changing social landscape, young Americans are also in the process of interpreting vir- ginity loss in more individualized ways. The women and men I spoke with made sense of virginity loss through four primary metaphorical frames, comparing virginity to a gift, a stigma, a process/rite of passage, or an act of worship. Although these metaphors have historically been associated with particular genders, religious beliefs, and other aspects of social iden- tity, my research suggests that these links are weakening and growing more flexible over time. In the next few chapters, I will explore in depth
the most common ways that virginity loss is understood today. Each chapter examines the distinctive constellations of beliefs and behaviors associated with a metaphor, showing how they produce characteristic tra- jectories—some positive, some negative—before, during, and after vir- ginity loss.
3
A Gift of One’s Own
Was Britney Spears really a virgin until the age of 21? From 1992 to 1994, preteen Britney epitomized wholesome American girlhood as a Mouseke- teer on Disney TV’s revival of The Mickey Mouse Club. The young girls who admired Spears then helped propel her to superstardom a few years later, buying her first album and mimicking her wardrobe and dance moves by the millions. When Spears’s debut single reached No. 8 on Bill- board ’s pop charts at the end of 1998, she was not yet 17. 1 By 2000, the 18-year-old Spears boasted a decidedly sexy public persona, strutting the stage in skin-tight leather while crooning lyrics like “I’m not that inno- cent” and “I’m a slave for you.”
In the first flush of success, Britney embraced the job of teen role model, explaining to a reporter from Rolling Stone, “You want to be a good example for kids out there and not do something stupid.” 2 Among her exemplary attributes were regular church attendance and disapproval of smoking, drinking, and premarital sex. A fawning 1999 biography told of the 17-year-old innocently flirting with members of the popular boy band ’N Sync while on tour as their opening act, and “blushing” to admit that she’d kissed
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