“I…yes, but I’m not exactly sure what it’s going to be
just yet.”
The smile leaves
her eyes. “Is there a problem I need to know about, Lucky?” She cuts to the
point.
My grip tightens
on my backpack and I decide to come clean. “The place I was staying at was
kinda…raided.”
Her mouth purses.
“Drugs?”
I shake my head
quickly, although I can’t exactly stop her from forming her own opinion. My motel
address is scribbled down on one of her clipboards. She knows in which part of
town I live. Or lived. “No, some other…vermin problem. Anyway, I didn’t have
time to find a new place because I had to come here.” The half-lie slips out
easier than expected.
She spears me
with an incisive look. “We won’t be done here for another couple of hours. You
know that, don’t you? That means you won’t be able to start looking for a place
to stay until almost midnight.”
I nod. “I’ll be
fine,” I say. The dull thudding of my heart states otherwise.
Fionnella turns
away without responding, and I don’t know whether my answer is satisfactory or
not. Still in my gown, we head to Wendy’s station. “Put your stuff over there.”
She points to the area behind her desk. “I’ll go and see if Todd is ready.”
But she doesn’t
head to Todd’s area. She leaves the room for five minutes and when she returns
her smile is back.
She inspects the
lingerie on the table for a minute before she picks up a moss green ensemble.
“This one first.”
To my surprise
it’s a simple lace-trimmed half Teddy and French knickers set. Considering the
nature of what I agreed to, I was expecting the pieces to be much saucier than
this. With a touch of relief, I retreat to the curtained off area and slip the
garment on, taking care to avoid messing up my hair. The silk feels warm and soft
against my skin, and I let my fingers drift over it for a stolen second before
I emerge.
“Great, we got
your size right.” She reaches for her clipboard and ticks a box, then cocks her
head toward Todd’s area. As we head over, the lights dim and I notice the three
staged areas for the first time.
One area is set
up to resemble a window of a suite or bedroom. A posh velvet chaise longue is
set against roped off, expensive curtains. The setting is classy and flawless,
but it’s clear the spotlight is on the chaise.
The other two
areas follow the same design—one’s a bed with sexily rumpled sheets, and
the other the mirrored vanity of a black and gold bathroom.
Todd looks up
from the piece of equipment in his hand and points to the chaise. “We’ll start
there.”
Nerves attack me
as I walk toward it. “What…what do you need me to do?”
“Just recline on
it. Try not to exaggerate your poses. And look directly into the camera.”
I recite the
steps and nod. “Okay.”
I climb onto the
dais and walk to the chaise. The spotlight trained on the stage is warm but not
uncomfortably so. I sit, place my hands on the seat and scoot back on the
smooth velvet. It feels so natural to lie sideways and tuck my feet beneath me,
so that’s what I do. Taking care not to ruffle my hair too much, I tuck it over
my shoulders and recline into the corner.
The first flash
blinds me and I wince. “Sorry.”
“It’s cool, but
try not to shut your eyes.”
I take a breath
and stare into the lens. Todd snaps several shots, taking a step closer with
each one. After five minutes, he swaps cameras. This one doesn’t need a flash,
so I relax a little.
Staring into the
lens, I’m suddenly reminded of another camera in another room down the hall and
my first audition when I had to perform .
Something stirs inside me—hot and urgent. I try not to fidget; the memory
grows stronger.
Convince
me that you’re worth fucking. Convince me you’re worth dying for .
The mechanical
voice is so clear in my head, it feels like I’m back in that room again, giving
myself over to commands that tap into fantasies I didn’t know I harbored
just yet.”
The smile leaves
her eyes. “Is there a problem I need to know about, Lucky?” She cuts to the
point.
My grip tightens
on my backpack and I decide to come clean. “The place I was staying at was
kinda…raided.”
Her mouth purses.
“Drugs?”
I shake my head
quickly, although I can’t exactly stop her from forming her own opinion. My motel
address is scribbled down on one of her clipboards. She knows in which part of
town I live. Or lived. “No, some other…vermin problem. Anyway, I didn’t have
time to find a new place because I had to come here.” The half-lie slips out
easier than expected.
She spears me
with an incisive look. “We won’t be done here for another couple of hours. You
know that, don’t you? That means you won’t be able to start looking for a place
to stay until almost midnight.”
I nod. “I’ll be
fine,” I say. The dull thudding of my heart states otherwise.
Fionnella turns
away without responding, and I don’t know whether my answer is satisfactory or
not. Still in my gown, we head to Wendy’s station. “Put your stuff over there.”
She points to the area behind her desk. “I’ll go and see if Todd is ready.”
But she doesn’t
head to Todd’s area. She leaves the room for five minutes and when she returns
her smile is back.
She inspects the
lingerie on the table for a minute before she picks up a moss green ensemble.
“This one first.”
To my surprise
it’s a simple lace-trimmed half Teddy and French knickers set. Considering the
nature of what I agreed to, I was expecting the pieces to be much saucier than
this. With a touch of relief, I retreat to the curtained off area and slip the
garment on, taking care to avoid messing up my hair. The silk feels warm and soft
against my skin, and I let my fingers drift over it for a stolen second before
I emerge.
“Great, we got
your size right.” She reaches for her clipboard and ticks a box, then cocks her
head toward Todd’s area. As we head over, the lights dim and I notice the three
staged areas for the first time.
One area is set
up to resemble a window of a suite or bedroom. A posh velvet chaise longue is
set against roped off, expensive curtains. The setting is classy and flawless,
but it’s clear the spotlight is on the chaise.
The other two
areas follow the same design—one’s a bed with sexily rumpled sheets, and
the other the mirrored vanity of a black and gold bathroom.
Todd looks up
from the piece of equipment in his hand and points to the chaise. “We’ll start
there.”
Nerves attack me
as I walk toward it. “What…what do you need me to do?”
“Just recline on
it. Try not to exaggerate your poses. And look directly into the camera.”
I recite the
steps and nod. “Okay.”
I climb onto the
dais and walk to the chaise. The spotlight trained on the stage is warm but not
uncomfortably so. I sit, place my hands on the seat and scoot back on the
smooth velvet. It feels so natural to lie sideways and tuck my feet beneath me,
so that’s what I do. Taking care not to ruffle my hair too much, I tuck it over
my shoulders and recline into the corner.
The first flash
blinds me and I wince. “Sorry.”
“It’s cool, but
try not to shut your eyes.”
I take a breath
and stare into the lens. Todd snaps several shots, taking a step closer with
each one. After five minutes, he swaps cameras. This one doesn’t need a flash,
so I relax a little.
Staring into the
lens, I’m suddenly reminded of another camera in another room down the hall and
my first audition when I had to perform .
Something stirs inside me—hot and urgent. I try not to fidget; the memory
grows stronger.
Convince
me that you’re worth fucking. Convince me you’re worth dying for .
The mechanical
voice is so clear in my head, it feels like I’m back in that room again, giving
myself over to commands that tap into fantasies I didn’t know I harbored
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