duplicating
in an unregulated way but it is still my brain and I am beginning
to feel as though this new flesh may be utilised. There may be a
power to this additional brain growth that can be harnessed. What I
learned of myself, is that when weakened by chemotherapy, sitting
now as I am without strength, I’m unafraid to lose my physical
body. But my mind is everything. I had a vision that my body was
discarded but my mind lived on. I’m not afraid to let my body die,
Barry. But I’m terrified that my mind will be lost after my
death.”
Barry cleared his
throat then said, “Well, I’m glad to see you’re still
philosophising.”
“What has happened to
the women in Pittsburgh?”
“They’re being looked
after. They’re getting the same as you. High end medical services
with Consec picking up the bill.”
“I need to apologise to
them.”
“No, you don’t. You
need to focus on getting better; and so do they.”
Brian closed his eyes
and rested a moment. “What are Consec doing with Veraceo?”
“Nothing. It’s an
academic project now. Research only and down to a few people, just
enough to keep the pilot light on.”
“Who?”
“Myself and Peter
Fluorite; he’s in Pittsburgh now.”
“Why Pittsburgh? Are
you producing content?”
“No, Brian. Everything
has stopped. Peter is working with Consec Medical to get an
understanding of it. But it’s over. There is no more Veraceo and it
won’t ever be brought to market. It’s finished.”
----- X -----
It was a month before
Brian returned to Bianca’s mission. When she opened the door she
gasped and held a hand over her mouth in fright. He was half the
bodyweight of when she last saw him. He’d been bald on top for a
long time, but the hair at the sides had fallen away in patches
here and there. His moustache and eyebrows had gone and his skin
had become ashen and wrinkled.
He took his time
explaining it all to Bianca. Veraceo-One, then Veraceo-Two and the
Pittsburgh sadomasochism videos. The dinner with Consec, the
meeting with Consec Leader. He left nothing out; his chances of
survival weren’t that optimistic, he had a chance, but it was on
the wrong side of fifty-fifty which made him feel there wasn’t time
for secrets and subterfuge.
“I looked at the device
you left,” Bianca said. “You told me it could change the world, but
I had no idea of how literally you meant.”
“Bianca, I want you to
help me with something. A legacy project. I fear I don’t have long
left on this Earth. Very soon, all of this information,” he tapped
his temple. “All of these ideas and knowledge will be lost. I don’t
trust Consec. I don’t trust them to sit back and do nothing with
Veraceo and all the knowledge of it could vanish along with
me.”
“What do you want my
help with?”
“I want to make a video
confession; and I want you to hold on to it.”
----- X -----
Brian spent a week with
Bianca, visiting every day. He transferred ten million dollars to
her charitable foundation. Consec money would be spent feeding
Toronto’s homeless. He fell into the habit of recording
confessional videos. Philosophical videos. Thoughts on the nature
of television. Musings on television’s ability to reshape the very
topography of the human brain. Thoughts about violence… Many, many
thoughts about violence… Musings on pornography and its impact on
society. He had visions, too. Visions of the Pittsburgh women
dissolving away to cancer, their flesh eaten away and bubbling with
tumours. What had he done to those women? Many times he’d thought
of them. Many times he’d wished to go to them and apologise. Many
times he saw himself at the Consec black-tie dinner and imagined
himself walking away. Many times he wished Consec Leader had
watched Veraceo-Two and also had the tumour. That fantasy played on
an endless loop. The thought of hurting Consec Leader, physically
hurting him, was compelling.
He was watching
television news,
in an unregulated way but it is still my brain and I am beginning
to feel as though this new flesh may be utilised. There may be a
power to this additional brain growth that can be harnessed. What I
learned of myself, is that when weakened by chemotherapy, sitting
now as I am without strength, I’m unafraid to lose my physical
body. But my mind is everything. I had a vision that my body was
discarded but my mind lived on. I’m not afraid to let my body die,
Barry. But I’m terrified that my mind will be lost after my
death.”
Barry cleared his
throat then said, “Well, I’m glad to see you’re still
philosophising.”
“What has happened to
the women in Pittsburgh?”
“They’re being looked
after. They’re getting the same as you. High end medical services
with Consec picking up the bill.”
“I need to apologise to
them.”
“No, you don’t. You
need to focus on getting better; and so do they.”
Brian closed his eyes
and rested a moment. “What are Consec doing with Veraceo?”
“Nothing. It’s an
academic project now. Research only and down to a few people, just
enough to keep the pilot light on.”
“Who?”
“Myself and Peter
Fluorite; he’s in Pittsburgh now.”
“Why Pittsburgh? Are
you producing content?”
“No, Brian. Everything
has stopped. Peter is working with Consec Medical to get an
understanding of it. But it’s over. There is no more Veraceo and it
won’t ever be brought to market. It’s finished.”
----- X -----
It was a month before
Brian returned to Bianca’s mission. When she opened the door she
gasped and held a hand over her mouth in fright. He was half the
bodyweight of when she last saw him. He’d been bald on top for a
long time, but the hair at the sides had fallen away in patches
here and there. His moustache and eyebrows had gone and his skin
had become ashen and wrinkled.
He took his time
explaining it all to Bianca. Veraceo-One, then Veraceo-Two and the
Pittsburgh sadomasochism videos. The dinner with Consec, the
meeting with Consec Leader. He left nothing out; his chances of
survival weren’t that optimistic, he had a chance, but it was on
the wrong side of fifty-fifty which made him feel there wasn’t time
for secrets and subterfuge.
“I looked at the device
you left,” Bianca said. “You told me it could change the world, but
I had no idea of how literally you meant.”
“Bianca, I want you to
help me with something. A legacy project. I fear I don’t have long
left on this Earth. Very soon, all of this information,” he tapped
his temple. “All of these ideas and knowledge will be lost. I don’t
trust Consec. I don’t trust them to sit back and do nothing with
Veraceo and all the knowledge of it could vanish along with
me.”
“What do you want my
help with?”
“I want to make a video
confession; and I want you to hold on to it.”
----- X -----
Brian spent a week with
Bianca, visiting every day. He transferred ten million dollars to
her charitable foundation. Consec money would be spent feeding
Toronto’s homeless. He fell into the habit of recording
confessional videos. Philosophical videos. Thoughts on the nature
of television. Musings on television’s ability to reshape the very
topography of the human brain. Thoughts about violence… Many, many
thoughts about violence… Musings on pornography and its impact on
society. He had visions, too. Visions of the Pittsburgh women
dissolving away to cancer, their flesh eaten away and bubbling with
tumours. What had he done to those women? Many times he’d thought
of them. Many times he’d wished to go to them and apologise. Many
times he saw himself at the Consec black-tie dinner and imagined
himself walking away. Many times he wished Consec Leader had
watched Veraceo-Two and also had the tumour. That fantasy played on
an endless loop. The thought of hurting Consec Leader, physically
hurting him, was compelling.
He was watching
television news,
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