really lovely dress. Nan had spent hours on the very fine wool, with its embroidery, ruffs and frills, its soft blues and yellows. Shirley looked like an enormous, beautiful baby.
It was for some gala evening and Shirley had said: ‘If he doesn’t tear the clothes off me when he sees me like this, he never will.’
Nan worked on a system of appointments that meant you had to come and see her on the hour, and she only saw eight people a day. That way, she said, the job was manageable. People didn’t stay longer than twenty minutes at the most. The rest of the hourNan worked away with her quiet, little machinist burring on in the background.
She would never be rich, never be famous, but it was a living. She couldn’t see a life where she would be finishing buttonholes at three a.m. for a show next day. Her own life and her own lover were far too precious for that. Colin and she had lived together happily for ages and often thought of getting married but they’d never actually got the details organised.
That’s what they said. The truth was that Colin would have disappeared very sharply if Nan had suggested marriage. She didn’t mind much; although sometimes she felt he had it all ways since they both worked. She did the housework and paid the rent; but then it was her place, and he did share the bills.
And he loved the fact that she worked downstairs. Sometimes if he had a day off he would come in and give her a rose in the workroom, and on one never-to-be-forgotten occasion he had asked the machinist to go for a walk, locked the door and made love to her there and then, to the accompaniment of Miss Harris pounding on the door.
One day Colin had seen Shirley leaving with a finished dress. ‘Who on earth was the beach ball bouncing out a minute ago?’ he asked. Shirley wasn’t the usual mould of Nan’s clients.
‘That’s our Shirl whom I talk about sometimes,’ Nan said.
‘You never told me she looked like a technicolouredMoby Dick,’ said Colin. Nan was annoyed. True, Shirley was enormous; true, she was dressed extremely brightly – mainly at Nan’s insistence. But because she had such a lovely face, she looked well in colourful clothes and Nan didn’t like Colin’s joke.
‘That’s a bit uncalled for, isn’t it?’ she said sharply. Colin was amazed.
‘Sorry to tease her – let me hold out my hand for a smack,’ he mocked. ‘Yes it was very uncalled for, teacher, nobody called for it at all.’
Nan retorted: ‘It’s cruel to laugh at somebody’s shape.’
‘Aw, come on, come on,’ said Colin reasonably. ‘You’re always saying someone’s like a car aerial or the Michelin Man or whatever. It was just a remark, just a joke.’
Nan forgave him. ‘It’s just that I feel, I don’t know, a bit protective about her. She’s so bloody nice compared with almost anyone who comes in here, and she’s literally so soft – in every way. I just feel she’d melt into a little pool if she heard anyone making a remark like that about her, honestly.’
‘She was halfway down the street before I opened my mouth,’ said Colin.
‘I know – I suppose I just hope that nobody says such things whether she hears them or not,’ said Nan.
That conversation had been a few months ago, Nan reflected, as she sat, head in hands. Funny that it all came back to her now. She did remember exactlyhow protective she had felt, as if Shirley had been her favourite sister and their mother had entrusted Nan with the care of seeing that nobody ever laughed at the fat girl.
Nan could hardly believe that, not half an hour ago, Shirley had banged out of the door and shouted from the street that she would never come back. It was like a nightmare where people behave completely out of character.
Shirley had come along for a final fitting for the wedding outfit. Her best friend was getting married and Shirley and Nan had been through reams of ideas before settling on the emerald green dress and matching hat.
Nan had
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