Vicious Little Darlings by Katherine Easer Page A

it—something sinister slithering behind the eyes. A darkness. A profound ugliness underneath all that beauty. That’s what I drew.
    As expected, Maddy did not appreciate the portrait. She pretended to, and forced a smile and even said she thought it was nice, but I know she hated it. I could almost hear her thinking, This doesn’t look like me at all. And it’s true; it doesn’t look like her. It is her.
    â€œYou really like Maddy, don’t you?” I say to Agnes, who is now mopping the kitchen floor.
    â€œShe’s my oldest friend,” she answers dismissively.
    â€œYou can have it,” I say. I owe Agnes too much already. Giving her the drawing will, hopefully, make me feel like less of a freeloader.
    â€œI’ll get my checkbook.”
    â€œNo,” I say, “it’s a gift.” Then I hurry upstairs before she can thank me.
    I sleep hard and fast, a dreamless sleep. When I wake up, I discover a check for a thousand dollars on my nightstand. I leave it there. I can’t deal with it now. It’s nine fifteen. I’ve got less than an hour before class, and I still have to do that other drawing.
    Thirty minutes later, I’m running out the door, clutching my haphazardly drawn self-portrait. I didn’t have time to shower and I feel beyond disgusting, but I don’t want to fail the only class I like.
    It’s a sunny, cool day. As I run past the campus pond, amber-gold leaves crackle under my feet. I see all of this beauty, but I can’t take it in. I have ten minutes before class, and I still need to call Sebastian.
    I dash into the art building and find a phone booth. I open my palm. The numbers are faint and smudgy, but still visible. I’m shaking all over, but I know I have to do this. I take a deep breath and dial.
    Then a crazy thought darts into my head.
    What if I really am pregnant? That would make Sebastian the father of my baby! I hang up. I’m going to have to take an e.p.t. It’s no big deal. I’ve taken them lots of times and they’ve always turned out negative.
    But what if this one turns out positive? I’m not mom material. It’s not in my genes. I don’t take care of Hope; I don’t even play with her. If by some stroke of bad luck I’m pregnant, I’ll just have to get rid of it. There’s no other way. God, how did I get into this mess? I don’t have money for an abortion. I don’t even know how much an abortion costs. And it would be a hassle, not to mention traumatizing. I’m seventeen; I can’t be dealing with shit like this! Well, whatever happens, Sebastian will never know about it.
    Again, I pick up the receiver and dial. I stay on the line this time, even though I feel like vomiting. On the sixth ring, Sebastian picks up.
    â€œ Ciao, ” he mumbles in a groggy voice.
    â€œIt’s Sarah.”
    I hear him yawn. Then, in a trying-to-be-sexy voice, he asks, “From last night?”
    It kills me to think this creep could be the father of my baby. Bile rises in my throat. “This is Maddy’s roommate,” I say.
    â€œOh, sorry. Didn’t recognize your voice.” He laughs. “What’s shaking?”
    â€œI didn’t call to chat,” I say, trembling. “I just wanted to let you know that Maddy is planning a surprise visit to Cornell this weekend.”
    â€œCool. Are you coming too?” I can actually hear him smiling into the phone. He obviously does not sense the gravity of the situation.
    â€œMaddy is freaking out. She thinks you’re cheating on her. I just called to warn you. So hide your bimbo and act surprised when you see her, okay?”
    â€œWhat bimbo? I’m not cheating on Maddy. Besides, she’s the one who wanted a time-out. Not me.”
    Huh? “What are you talking about?”
    â€œShe didn’t tell you?” he asks. “I bet there are lots of things she doesn’t tell you.