on an emotional reaction to what I saw happening. I didn’t like the way God operated, so I decided He must not exist. But I was imposing my own values onto God, thinking that God had to behave like I would—according to my logic and values. I wasn’t open to the possibility that maybe God might allow evil to succeed for a time in order to fulfill a greater goal. He can allow tragedy to occur because He has a higher purpose. One I couldn’t see because I’m a finite human being.”
This was getting a little too close to home. This pastor was no longer describing his own feelings but Conner’s as well. “But why doesn’t He just let us in on it? Why does everything have to be such a secret?”
“His mysterious ways?” Lewis shrugged. “Maybe in part to build our faith. To teach us to trust Him. Like a parent forcing a child to learn how to swim. It’s scary and unpleasant for the child at the time, but in the end it’s better for that child to know how to swim than to…” He stopped midsentence. His face went white. “I’m… I’m sorry, Conner. I wasn’t thinking. That was a terrible analogy.”
Conner found his hands clenching the armrests. His jaw had tightened, and his chest. He took a breath. An image flashed in his head—Matthew’s face beneath the water, his eyes vacant and dead…
“No,” Conner said softly. “It’s all right.”
“I just wasn’t thinking.…”
“Actually it’s a perfect analogy. God allows these things ultimately for our own good. We just don’t always understand it at the time.”
“Or maybe for someone else’s good,” Lewis added. “Or sometimes just for His own glory. You remember the story of Job? God allowed terrible suffering into a faithful man’s life, all to prove a point to Satan. And He never once explained to Job why He allowed it. Job accepted it initially, but soon he began to plead for an answer. Then he ended up demanding one.
“And when God finally responded . . . it wasn’t a gentle answer. He didn’t speak in a still, small voice or in a soft, motherly tone. He spoke with power. Out of a storm. He invoked His sovereign prerogative: He is God and He will do as He pleases. He may choose to let us know the reasons… or He may not.”
Conner shook his head. “That won’t win Him any popularity contests. Not these days.”
“You’re right. It’s definitely easier to talk about His kindness and love. But the subtle danger there is that before you know it, if that’s all we focus on, we start to think that maybe, in some way, we must be kind of lovable. That maybe there’s something good in us and maybe we deserve His love.”
Conner rubbed his jaw. He hadn’t thought of that before.
Lewis went on. “Now in the end, God did show His love to Job. He restored everything twofold. But not until Job came to a place where He recognized God’s rightful authority and bowed down in humility and repentance. We can never fully appreciate God’s love until we understand how completely undeserving we are of being loved.”
They both fell silent for a moment as that thought sank into Conner. Was he demanding answers from God as well? or some kind of explanation? And was he expecting God to respond on Conner’s timetable? What right did he have to demand anything from the Almighty?
Conner shook his head. It was an easy trap to fall into. Perhaps he could use a little humility. At length, he spoke up. “So let me tell you what happened during my heart attack.”
20
MITCH SPENT THE NEXT TWO DAYS inside the farmhouse, refusing to talk or to even go outside. He barely ate and stopped playing cribbage altogether. Instead, he spent most of the time just sitting in the living room, staring out the front window.
He felt numb inside, like his brain was shutting down. He had seen dozens of people get dragged away by the aliens
This was getting a little too close to home. This pastor was no longer describing his own feelings but Conner’s as well. “But why doesn’t He just let us in on it? Why does everything have to be such a secret?”
“His mysterious ways?” Lewis shrugged. “Maybe in part to build our faith. To teach us to trust Him. Like a parent forcing a child to learn how to swim. It’s scary and unpleasant for the child at the time, but in the end it’s better for that child to know how to swim than to…” He stopped midsentence. His face went white. “I’m… I’m sorry, Conner. I wasn’t thinking. That was a terrible analogy.”
Conner found his hands clenching the armrests. His jaw had tightened, and his chest. He took a breath. An image flashed in his head—Matthew’s face beneath the water, his eyes vacant and dead…
“No,” Conner said softly. “It’s all right.”
“I just wasn’t thinking.…”
“Actually it’s a perfect analogy. God allows these things ultimately for our own good. We just don’t always understand it at the time.”
“Or maybe for someone else’s good,” Lewis added. “Or sometimes just for His own glory. You remember the story of Job? God allowed terrible suffering into a faithful man’s life, all to prove a point to Satan. And He never once explained to Job why He allowed it. Job accepted it initially, but soon he began to plead for an answer. Then he ended up demanding one.
“And when God finally responded . . . it wasn’t a gentle answer. He didn’t speak in a still, small voice or in a soft, motherly tone. He spoke with power. Out of a storm. He invoked His sovereign prerogative: He is God and He will do as He pleases. He may choose to let us know the reasons… or He may not.”
Conner shook his head. “That won’t win Him any popularity contests. Not these days.”
“You’re right. It’s definitely easier to talk about His kindness and love. But the subtle danger there is that before you know it, if that’s all we focus on, we start to think that maybe, in some way, we must be kind of lovable. That maybe there’s something good in us and maybe we deserve His love.”
Conner rubbed his jaw. He hadn’t thought of that before.
Lewis went on. “Now in the end, God did show His love to Job. He restored everything twofold. But not until Job came to a place where He recognized God’s rightful authority and bowed down in humility and repentance. We can never fully appreciate God’s love until we understand how completely undeserving we are of being loved.”
They both fell silent for a moment as that thought sank into Conner. Was he demanding answers from God as well? or some kind of explanation? And was he expecting God to respond on Conner’s timetable? What right did he have to demand anything from the Almighty?
Conner shook his head. It was an easy trap to fall into. Perhaps he could use a little humility. At length, he spoke up. “So let me tell you what happened during my heart attack.”
20
MITCH SPENT THE NEXT TWO DAYS inside the farmhouse, refusing to talk or to even go outside. He barely ate and stopped playing cribbage altogether. Instead, he spent most of the time just sitting in the living room, staring out the front window.
He felt numb inside, like his brain was shutting down. He had seen dozens of people get dragged away by the aliens
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