phone."
"I need to talk to you, too. I can see why the K-9 Kennel Klub wouldn't take Regan back."
"Why? What did she do now? She didn't flood my house like she did the kennel, did she?"
"No. Your house is fine. Stevie and I ran to the Dairy Queen to get supper and..."
"You didn't take her with, did you?"
"No."
"Mistake number one."
"So I learned. I just wanted to make it a fast trip,” Molly whined.
"Did you at least get her a hamburger?"
"No."
"Mistake number two.” I shook my head.
"Taking care of your dog was mistake number one."
"You volunteered..."
"Yeah, well, after what she did, she doesn't deserve a hamburger. Do you have any idea what she did?” Molly's voice rose on the phone.
"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."
"She jumped up on your bed and peed all the way around it."
"Around my bed?” I asked.
"No, sweetheart. On your bed . All around your brand new down comforter."
"What?"
"Don't worry. I washed it,” Molly said. “You don't think that I'd let that thing sit around until you got home, do you?"
"No, but you could've taken it to the dry cleaners."
"Why would I do that? It was already wet. Dry cleaning wouldn't have...” Molly's voice died off. “Ah, I see. Well, you can do that when you get home. I'm sure that will help fluff it up a bit. It looks kinda...” static sparked across the line, “...flat."
I swallowed hard. I could just see it. “Thanks for taking care of that for me.” I forced happy into my voice. My brand new comforter. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
"No prob. What are friends for? Oh yeah, she also..."
I interrupted. “Don't tell me. I'll find out when I get home.” If I got home.
"Oh. Okay, by the way, did you get me anything yet? Not that I'm expecting anything, but..."
Sergio rolled across my bed, laughing to himself.
"I have an idea.” I glared at Sergio. “Would you like a shrunken head?"
"Would it be anyone I know?"
"Oh, it might be."
Sergio stopped laughing.
"So are you boys having fun? Sergio said that you've stumbled across a dead body, twice, hooked up with the hottest porn star and a best-selling mystery author, and you have several of the staff members writing marriage proposals to you on beach towels. Not bad for your first day at the resort."
"Did you know that this place was...?"
"Gay? No. I thought it was odd when I didn't see any women in the brochure, but I figured, it was one of those Iron John, he-man places, you know where you get to do all that macho shit."
"Oh, yeah, this is really macho. I'm sure the Village People are here somewhere pumping iron."
"Cool, can you get me their autograph? Well, at least the cowboy. He was the cutest one, but so was the construction worker."
"Yeah, he was my favorite too.” Anger burned my words.
"So, who's the author? Sergio wouldn't say. Anyone I'd know?"
"I don't think you've read anything by...Logan Zachary? Have you?” I smiled at that one.
"Logan Zachary! That's not fair. I'd give anything to meet Logan.” The phone line crackled again. “Take lots of pictures, especially on the nude beach. Woo baby. You could get one heck of a Christmas card out of those pictures.” More crackles echoed on the line. “Check out these candy canes for Christmas!” Molly hooted, “Who needs Santy Claus, when you can get Sandy Buns.” More laughter was interspersed with static.
"I'm glad you're having this much fun at my expense."
"Just think of all the stories you can tell them back at work.” Molly laughed.
There wasn't anything I could tell anyone about this trip.
"Before I forget. Did you hear about the hurr—” more static broke out across the line, drowning out Molly's voice.
"What?” I said into the phone.
A click shot into my ear, and then the hum of an open line resonated. Molly was gone. Turning back to Sergio. “We were cut off."
"I didn't see you or Tom all afternoon. Where have you two been?"
I said nothing.
"What were you two doing?” Sergio leaned
"I need to talk to you, too. I can see why the K-9 Kennel Klub wouldn't take Regan back."
"Why? What did she do now? She didn't flood my house like she did the kennel, did she?"
"No. Your house is fine. Stevie and I ran to the Dairy Queen to get supper and..."
"You didn't take her with, did you?"
"No."
"Mistake number one."
"So I learned. I just wanted to make it a fast trip,” Molly whined.
"Did you at least get her a hamburger?"
"No."
"Mistake number two.” I shook my head.
"Taking care of your dog was mistake number one."
"You volunteered..."
"Yeah, well, after what she did, she doesn't deserve a hamburger. Do you have any idea what she did?” Molly's voice rose on the phone.
"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."
"She jumped up on your bed and peed all the way around it."
"Around my bed?” I asked.
"No, sweetheart. On your bed . All around your brand new down comforter."
"What?"
"Don't worry. I washed it,” Molly said. “You don't think that I'd let that thing sit around until you got home, do you?"
"No, but you could've taken it to the dry cleaners."
"Why would I do that? It was already wet. Dry cleaning wouldn't have...” Molly's voice died off. “Ah, I see. Well, you can do that when you get home. I'm sure that will help fluff it up a bit. It looks kinda...” static sparked across the line, “...flat."
I swallowed hard. I could just see it. “Thanks for taking care of that for me.” I forced happy into my voice. My brand new comforter. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
"No prob. What are friends for? Oh yeah, she also..."
I interrupted. “Don't tell me. I'll find out when I get home.” If I got home.
"Oh. Okay, by the way, did you get me anything yet? Not that I'm expecting anything, but..."
Sergio rolled across my bed, laughing to himself.
"I have an idea.” I glared at Sergio. “Would you like a shrunken head?"
"Would it be anyone I know?"
"Oh, it might be."
Sergio stopped laughing.
"So are you boys having fun? Sergio said that you've stumbled across a dead body, twice, hooked up with the hottest porn star and a best-selling mystery author, and you have several of the staff members writing marriage proposals to you on beach towels. Not bad for your first day at the resort."
"Did you know that this place was...?"
"Gay? No. I thought it was odd when I didn't see any women in the brochure, but I figured, it was one of those Iron John, he-man places, you know where you get to do all that macho shit."
"Oh, yeah, this is really macho. I'm sure the Village People are here somewhere pumping iron."
"Cool, can you get me their autograph? Well, at least the cowboy. He was the cutest one, but so was the construction worker."
"Yeah, he was my favorite too.” Anger burned my words.
"So, who's the author? Sergio wouldn't say. Anyone I'd know?"
"I don't think you've read anything by...Logan Zachary? Have you?” I smiled at that one.
"Logan Zachary! That's not fair. I'd give anything to meet Logan.” The phone line crackled again. “Take lots of pictures, especially on the nude beach. Woo baby. You could get one heck of a Christmas card out of those pictures.” More crackles echoed on the line. “Check out these candy canes for Christmas!” Molly hooted, “Who needs Santy Claus, when you can get Sandy Buns.” More laughter was interspersed with static.
"I'm glad you're having this much fun at my expense."
"Just think of all the stories you can tell them back at work.” Molly laughed.
There wasn't anything I could tell anyone about this trip.
"Before I forget. Did you hear about the hurr—” more static broke out across the line, drowning out Molly's voice.
"What?” I said into the phone.
A click shot into my ear, and then the hum of an open line resonated. Molly was gone. Turning back to Sergio. “We were cut off."
"I didn't see you or Tom all afternoon. Where have you two been?"
I said nothing.
"What were you two doing?” Sergio leaned
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