get in easy-peasy.”
I arch an eyebrow,
knowing I'm treading that line with my skepticism. “Me. Pretend
to be a stripper.” That's a laugh. I'm the epitome of
wholesome. Like, Catholic school girl wholesome, in a very literal
sense. Before our parents met, I actually went to an all-female
Catholic school. It wasn't until Ethel's father convinced my mom that
I needed to learn how to survive the general populous that my mom
finally switched me over to a normal public school. I was like such a
fish out of water back then, and I honestly don't think I ever really
socially adjusted. Maybe that's why I feel so awkward all the time.
Oh well. It can't be changed now. All I know is that I took a lot of
the values from Catholic school with me. I've only kissed one boy in
my entire life, and I wouldn't even dream of having sex outside of
wedlock. The idea of dressing up like a stripper just to get into
some stupid party is preposterous to me.
“ Come on,
Sarah, it will be fun.” Ethel scoots closer to me on the bed.
“Haven't you ever wanted to look sexy?”
“ Nope. Never.”
I shake my head. Sexy gives men the wrong impression. Sexy can get
you into trouble.
“ Ugh. You're
so lame.” Frustration takes over the anger she was once
displaying. She knows this is a losing battle. I won't budge.
“ You have
Lisa. You girls go have fun. You can tell me all about it afterward.”
I try to calm her with a smile.
She stands, her body
ridged. “You know what, you're never going to experience
anything that life has to offer if you keep staying inside this
little shell you've created for yourself.” She presses her
fingertips together and draws them out and around, creating an
invisible shell with her hands.
I'm perfectly fine
with my shell, I want to say, but instead, I simply reply, “I
know.” There's no point in arguing.
A vein in her neck
bulges. Cruel words are sitting on her tongue. I wait for her to spit
them at me, but thankfully, she just shakes her head and leaves,
taking the tension in the room with her. I sigh, grateful that it's
over. What a stupid thing to argue about. She should know by now that
her and I are as different as night and day. The things she's
interested in, I'm not, and that includes finding some man to shack
up with.
I sit in silence for
a moment, trying not to let the conversation get to me. It's
difficult. She may only be my step-sister, but I still want her to
like me. Maybe I should try harder. There has to be better ways than
this though.
***
It's
Saturday night, and I'm exhausted from a long day working at the
coffee shop. Saving up to pay for college is hard. If I had
known it was going to be this difficult, to take so long, I would
have applied for more scholarships. Coulda, shoulda, woulda. It does
no good to think of the past. I've made my own bed, slacked off too
much in an attempt to be liked by the kids at school, to try to fit
in. Wanting to fit in was a mistake. Now I'm struggling like the rest
of them. Lessons learned in youth continue to haunt me as an adult.
Now I have to rectify my mistakes. I try not to be unhappy about it,
but it's hard sometimes.
I can hear heavy
footsteps treading down the hall towards my room. It's Ethel. I don't
even need to wonder what's coming next. No one walks that heavily in
this house when they're angry but her. I turn my computer chair
towards the door before she even has a chance to barge in on me
unannounced.
“ You're not
going to believe this,” she growls, slamming my door behind
herself. I can't help but wince. This is a ragefit that I have
absolutely nothing to do with, but I'm about to feel the brunt of it.
“ Tell me all
about it.” I reach over and pat my bed, trying to be
supportive.
From what I can
tell, Lisa and her must have gotten into a fight right before they
were supposed to leave for the party. Ethel looks stunning in a short
red dress that compliments her mocha skin. I love her skin. It's so
dark and smooth and
I arch an eyebrow,
knowing I'm treading that line with my skepticism. “Me. Pretend
to be a stripper.” That's a laugh. I'm the epitome of
wholesome. Like, Catholic school girl wholesome, in a very literal
sense. Before our parents met, I actually went to an all-female
Catholic school. It wasn't until Ethel's father convinced my mom that
I needed to learn how to survive the general populous that my mom
finally switched me over to a normal public school. I was like such a
fish out of water back then, and I honestly don't think I ever really
socially adjusted. Maybe that's why I feel so awkward all the time.
Oh well. It can't be changed now. All I know is that I took a lot of
the values from Catholic school with me. I've only kissed one boy in
my entire life, and I wouldn't even dream of having sex outside of
wedlock. The idea of dressing up like a stripper just to get into
some stupid party is preposterous to me.
“ Come on,
Sarah, it will be fun.” Ethel scoots closer to me on the bed.
“Haven't you ever wanted to look sexy?”
“ Nope. Never.”
I shake my head. Sexy gives men the wrong impression. Sexy can get
you into trouble.
“ Ugh. You're
so lame.” Frustration takes over the anger she was once
displaying. She knows this is a losing battle. I won't budge.
“ You have
Lisa. You girls go have fun. You can tell me all about it afterward.”
I try to calm her with a smile.
She stands, her body
ridged. “You know what, you're never going to experience
anything that life has to offer if you keep staying inside this
little shell you've created for yourself.” She presses her
fingertips together and draws them out and around, creating an
invisible shell with her hands.
I'm perfectly fine
with my shell, I want to say, but instead, I simply reply, “I
know.” There's no point in arguing.
A vein in her neck
bulges. Cruel words are sitting on her tongue. I wait for her to spit
them at me, but thankfully, she just shakes her head and leaves,
taking the tension in the room with her. I sigh, grateful that it's
over. What a stupid thing to argue about. She should know by now that
her and I are as different as night and day. The things she's
interested in, I'm not, and that includes finding some man to shack
up with.
I sit in silence for
a moment, trying not to let the conversation get to me. It's
difficult. She may only be my step-sister, but I still want her to
like me. Maybe I should try harder. There has to be better ways than
this though.
***
It's
Saturday night, and I'm exhausted from a long day working at the
coffee shop. Saving up to pay for college is hard. If I had
known it was going to be this difficult, to take so long, I would
have applied for more scholarships. Coulda, shoulda, woulda. It does
no good to think of the past. I've made my own bed, slacked off too
much in an attempt to be liked by the kids at school, to try to fit
in. Wanting to fit in was a mistake. Now I'm struggling like the rest
of them. Lessons learned in youth continue to haunt me as an adult.
Now I have to rectify my mistakes. I try not to be unhappy about it,
but it's hard sometimes.
I can hear heavy
footsteps treading down the hall towards my room. It's Ethel. I don't
even need to wonder what's coming next. No one walks that heavily in
this house when they're angry but her. I turn my computer chair
towards the door before she even has a chance to barge in on me
unannounced.
“ You're not
going to believe this,” she growls, slamming my door behind
herself. I can't help but wince. This is a ragefit that I have
absolutely nothing to do with, but I'm about to feel the brunt of it.
“ Tell me all
about it.” I reach over and pat my bed, trying to be
supportive.
From what I can
tell, Lisa and her must have gotten into a fight right before they
were supposed to leave for the party. Ethel looks stunning in a short
red dress that compliments her mocha skin. I love her skin. It's so
dark and smooth and
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