awkwardness with the opposite sex. I played with the rings on my fingers for several seconds before I abruptly turned around and grabbed the corkscrew again. I quickly filled two glasses before handing one over to him.
“Thanks,” he said as he took a sip. After a couple of silent minutes, he spoke again. “Naomi’s right, you know.”
“About?” I asked right as I brought the glass up to my lips.
“Sex is pretty great.” He smiled as he looked at me over his glass.
I’d barely gotten the wine down before I started coughing. Gabe laughed as he stood closer and patted me on the back. As I felt my cheeks burn for the umpteenth time, I mentally started calculating all the money I’d save on blush if my body kept this up.
“Are you okay?” I jumped when I felt his breath on my ear and his hand resting on my elbow.
“Yep, I’m great,” I said as I stepped out of his grasp and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to look at him, which meant I practically inhaled the water. There were only a few sips left when he spoke again.
“Was that too weird to say since we hardly know each other?” His voice was laced with insecurity and unease, and I immediately felt guilty. Despite the outcome, he was clearly just trying to alleviate my awkwardness with a joke.
I cleared my throat and shrugged before pouring myself more wine.
He nodded thoughtfully. “I was just joking. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I sleep around…” He trailed off and coughed awkwardly before starting again. “I’ve actually only ever had one girlfriend.”
“Really?” After his solemn nod, I asked him what happened.
“Life.” His jaw ticked as he took a sip. “We grew apart when…” Gabe shook his head as he trailed off, and even though I wanted to know what the when was, I knew I wouldn’t get an answer if I asked tonight. “We wanted different things. I ended up leaving for Europe a few days after we broke up, and when I was there, I hooked up a little. But it wasn’t what I thought it’d be. I guess after we broke up, I just wanted something different. I’d never been single before, and I didn’t want to worry about settling down. I just wanted to have fun and be normal. But that didn’t work out so well.” His eyes met mine, and he gave me a small smile.
“What makes being in a relationship abnormal?” I asked, teetering on the edge between hope and fear.
“Nothing. It was just all I’d ever known. At the time, I was going through something difficult, and I wanted to be someone different; I thought that was the way of going about it. But I guess that’s not how real life works.”
We were quiet for a few minutes as we both thought his words over. But I already knew what I wanted to say. Because this kind of stuff I could talk about. Weird, deep, philosophical life crap I could go on about all damn day. It was the weather or the new movie coming out or that kind of “easy” stuff that I had trouble discussing.
I took a deep breath and moved my body slightly toward him. “I think real life works however you want it to. I guess the only question is… what do you want?”
“Oh, is that all?” he asked wryly, like figuring out what we wanted out of life was the hard part. He tried to make it a joke, but it fell flat along with his laugh.
I didn’t say any more because I didn’t really agree.
We knew what we wanted out of life; that was never the problem. People were the problem. People telling us we couldn’t. We shouldn’t. We’d fail. It’s wrong. It’s not normal.
We knew what we wanted. We just didn’t know how to say what we wanted. And we knew who we were. We were just afraid to be who we were.
My mother had always been big on communication, so I knew it would have killed her to know how little I’d interacted with Samantha since returning home. She never expected much from her husband, but she had always wanted Sam and me to be
“Thanks,” he said as he took a sip. After a couple of silent minutes, he spoke again. “Naomi’s right, you know.”
“About?” I asked right as I brought the glass up to my lips.
“Sex is pretty great.” He smiled as he looked at me over his glass.
I’d barely gotten the wine down before I started coughing. Gabe laughed as he stood closer and patted me on the back. As I felt my cheeks burn for the umpteenth time, I mentally started calculating all the money I’d save on blush if my body kept this up.
“Are you okay?” I jumped when I felt his breath on my ear and his hand resting on my elbow.
“Yep, I’m great,” I said as I stepped out of his grasp and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to look at him, which meant I practically inhaled the water. There were only a few sips left when he spoke again.
“Was that too weird to say since we hardly know each other?” His voice was laced with insecurity and unease, and I immediately felt guilty. Despite the outcome, he was clearly just trying to alleviate my awkwardness with a joke.
I cleared my throat and shrugged before pouring myself more wine.
He nodded thoughtfully. “I was just joking. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I sleep around…” He trailed off and coughed awkwardly before starting again. “I’ve actually only ever had one girlfriend.”
“Really?” After his solemn nod, I asked him what happened.
“Life.” His jaw ticked as he took a sip. “We grew apart when…” Gabe shook his head as he trailed off, and even though I wanted to know what the when was, I knew I wouldn’t get an answer if I asked tonight. “We wanted different things. I ended up leaving for Europe a few days after we broke up, and when I was there, I hooked up a little. But it wasn’t what I thought it’d be. I guess after we broke up, I just wanted something different. I’d never been single before, and I didn’t want to worry about settling down. I just wanted to have fun and be normal. But that didn’t work out so well.” His eyes met mine, and he gave me a small smile.
“What makes being in a relationship abnormal?” I asked, teetering on the edge between hope and fear.
“Nothing. It was just all I’d ever known. At the time, I was going through something difficult, and I wanted to be someone different; I thought that was the way of going about it. But I guess that’s not how real life works.”
We were quiet for a few minutes as we both thought his words over. But I already knew what I wanted to say. Because this kind of stuff I could talk about. Weird, deep, philosophical life crap I could go on about all damn day. It was the weather or the new movie coming out or that kind of “easy” stuff that I had trouble discussing.
I took a deep breath and moved my body slightly toward him. “I think real life works however you want it to. I guess the only question is… what do you want?”
“Oh, is that all?” he asked wryly, like figuring out what we wanted out of life was the hard part. He tried to make it a joke, but it fell flat along with his laugh.
I didn’t say any more because I didn’t really agree.
We knew what we wanted out of life; that was never the problem. People were the problem. People telling us we couldn’t. We shouldn’t. We’d fail. It’s wrong. It’s not normal.
We knew what we wanted. We just didn’t know how to say what we wanted. And we knew who we were. We were just afraid to be who we were.
My mother had always been big on communication, so I knew it would have killed her to know how little I’d interacted with Samantha since returning home. She never expected much from her husband, but she had always wanted Sam and me to be
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