“It is, indeed. She’s perfect, Emily. I’m so very happy for you.”
“Thank you, Jane . I hope one day soon you’ll be similarly blessed. Perhaps you’ll reconsider Lord Westfield’s–”
“There’s no possibility of that . No, I’m perfectly content being everyone’s favorite aunt,” Jane lied, at once overwhelmed with the desire for a child of her own.
“I hope you’ll change your mind, Jane . I...I cannot begin to describe the way I feel right now. So complete. I’ve risked...” Emily shook her head. “I would risk anything for such a blessing,” she corrected, placing a kiss on the sleeping babe’s forehead.
A knife twisted in Jane’s heart . Did Emily recognize the same risk she did, just refused to speak of it? Please , Jane pleaded silently, please let Emily be spared .
Chapter 7
“Emily, dear,” Jane called out, “are you almost ready ? The guests have all assembled in the drawing room.” She peered anxiously around the door that stood ajar and saw Emily sitting motionless at her vanity, staring at her own reflection. “Emily?”
The seated woman didn’t move a muscle.
With a frown tugging at the corners of her mouth, Jane hurried to Emily’s side and laid a hand on her shoulder. Their eyes met in the glass, Emily’s at last flickering to life.
“Jane?” Her voice wavered, sounding slightly disoriented.
“Your guests have arrived. Shall we go down together?”
“I’m just so very tired.”
“Of course you are. It’s only natural.” Jane patted her shoulder. “With poor Amelia so colicky, you haven’t gotten much sleep these past weeks.”
Jane saw a shadow waver across her cousin’s eyes, and she felt her own muscles tense in response . Her worries for her cousin increased daily. Emily seemed to go about in a daze, her brow furrowed and her mouth pinched. She’d grown paler each day since Amelia’s birth.
“It’s more than that,” Emily said, her hands shaking as she clutched the vanity’s marble top . “My nerves... I’m so anxious, so irritable. Amelia does nothing but cry, no matter what I do for the child. I don’t...I don’t know what to do for her.”
“Many infants suffer so . It will pass with time. Didn’t the apothecary say so?”
“I suppose.” Emily sighed heavily . “Has Lady Adele arrived?” she asked, her voice flat.
“I believe so . You’ve quite a number of guests. Perhaps we should–”
“Cecil’s never forgiven me for presenting him with a daughter, you know . He thinks it entirely my fault.”
Jane swallowed, unable to reply .
“The day I gave birth to Amelia, he came to my bedside reeking of perfume . Cheap perfume.”
“I’m sure you’re mistaken, Emily.”
“I’m not. No doubt Lord Westfield dragged him from some woman’s bed.”
Jane gasped . “Emily, you shouldn’t say... We shouldn’t speak of such things.”
“Cecil has many lovers . He thinks I don’t know, of course. Lady Adele is no doubt his latest conquest.”
Jane shuddered, remembering the night of the Ashbourne assembly –recalling the ‘come hither’ look the woman had given Cecil, and then the following debacle in the maze. No doubt Emily was correct. But to speak of such matters...
“Ours was not a love match,” Emily continued, her voice hollow . “Still, it pains me. There are times when I cannot get out of bed, so paralyzed am I by fear and despondency.”
Jane reached for her shoulder . “But why did you not tell me this before? Perhaps there’s something to be done–”
“What’s there to be done ? I’m just like my mother, don’t you see?” Emily cried out vehemently. “Sometimes I fear that Amelia would be better off without me.”
“No, that’s not true, Emily.” Jane shook her head.
“Other times I’ve listened to her inconsolable wailing, nothing I can do to comfort her, and I’ve...I’ve wished she had never been born.”
Jane’s hand rose to cover her mouth . Emily’s
“Thank you, Jane . I hope one day soon you’ll be similarly blessed. Perhaps you’ll reconsider Lord Westfield’s–”
“There’s no possibility of that . No, I’m perfectly content being everyone’s favorite aunt,” Jane lied, at once overwhelmed with the desire for a child of her own.
“I hope you’ll change your mind, Jane . I...I cannot begin to describe the way I feel right now. So complete. I’ve risked...” Emily shook her head. “I would risk anything for such a blessing,” she corrected, placing a kiss on the sleeping babe’s forehead.
A knife twisted in Jane’s heart . Did Emily recognize the same risk she did, just refused to speak of it? Please , Jane pleaded silently, please let Emily be spared .
Chapter 7
“Emily, dear,” Jane called out, “are you almost ready ? The guests have all assembled in the drawing room.” She peered anxiously around the door that stood ajar and saw Emily sitting motionless at her vanity, staring at her own reflection. “Emily?”
The seated woman didn’t move a muscle.
With a frown tugging at the corners of her mouth, Jane hurried to Emily’s side and laid a hand on her shoulder. Their eyes met in the glass, Emily’s at last flickering to life.
“Jane?” Her voice wavered, sounding slightly disoriented.
“Your guests have arrived. Shall we go down together?”
“I’m just so very tired.”
“Of course you are. It’s only natural.” Jane patted her shoulder. “With poor Amelia so colicky, you haven’t gotten much sleep these past weeks.”
Jane saw a shadow waver across her cousin’s eyes, and she felt her own muscles tense in response . Her worries for her cousin increased daily. Emily seemed to go about in a daze, her brow furrowed and her mouth pinched. She’d grown paler each day since Amelia’s birth.
“It’s more than that,” Emily said, her hands shaking as she clutched the vanity’s marble top . “My nerves... I’m so anxious, so irritable. Amelia does nothing but cry, no matter what I do for the child. I don’t...I don’t know what to do for her.”
“Many infants suffer so . It will pass with time. Didn’t the apothecary say so?”
“I suppose.” Emily sighed heavily . “Has Lady Adele arrived?” she asked, her voice flat.
“I believe so . You’ve quite a number of guests. Perhaps we should–”
“Cecil’s never forgiven me for presenting him with a daughter, you know . He thinks it entirely my fault.”
Jane swallowed, unable to reply .
“The day I gave birth to Amelia, he came to my bedside reeking of perfume . Cheap perfume.”
“I’m sure you’re mistaken, Emily.”
“I’m not. No doubt Lord Westfield dragged him from some woman’s bed.”
Jane gasped . “Emily, you shouldn’t say... We shouldn’t speak of such things.”
“Cecil has many lovers . He thinks I don’t know, of course. Lady Adele is no doubt his latest conquest.”
Jane shuddered, remembering the night of the Ashbourne assembly –recalling the ‘come hither’ look the woman had given Cecil, and then the following debacle in the maze. No doubt Emily was correct. But to speak of such matters...
“Ours was not a love match,” Emily continued, her voice hollow . “Still, it pains me. There are times when I cannot get out of bed, so paralyzed am I by fear and despondency.”
Jane reached for her shoulder . “But why did you not tell me this before? Perhaps there’s something to be done–”
“What’s there to be done ? I’m just like my mother, don’t you see?” Emily cried out vehemently. “Sometimes I fear that Amelia would be better off without me.”
“No, that’s not true, Emily.” Jane shook her head.
“Other times I’ve listened to her inconsolable wailing, nothing I can do to comfort her, and I’ve...I’ve wished she had never been born.”
Jane’s hand rose to cover her mouth . Emily’s
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