Unspeakable Truths by Alice Montalvo-Tribue

me feel something I most definitely don’t want to feel.
    "Ev,” he calls out after the laughter dies. “A guy like me would have made you happy in many other ways. Someone like me is more than capable of making you happy, and not by breaking his back to buy you a house he can’t afford, or a purse that costs more than the rent."
    I glare at him unable to compute how we went from pleasant to this in a matter of minutes. "I hate you. I never asked for any of that shit."
    "You wish you hated me," he says pulling up in front of my house.
    "Can I go inside now? I’m pretty sure I’ve had more than enough of you."
    His voice drops into a husky tone. "I like it that you ask me for permission.” My heart races and he holds my stare for a beat before finally speaking again. “Yeah sure go inside. Have a goodnight Ev.”
    I recover quickly and open the door, but he grabs my hand before I can get out. I turn my head to look at him.
    “Next Saturday, be ready, same time,” he commands before releasing me. I get out of the car and rush inside locking the door behind me. What was that back there? All this talk about me being his—was he really talking hypothetically or was he serious? Was he just trying to prove a point? Did I really just agree to see Luca again? Fuck!
    ~Luca~
    Being around Everly is bad for me; it’s always been like that for me where she’s concerned. She makes me want things I shouldn’t want. Things that I was supposed to let go of a long time ago—the minute she began to date my best friend—but I’m coming to realize that maybe I never let it go. I masked my feelings by treating her badly, I allowed for her to see me as a villain, and I made her hate me. Even after Ty’s death, it was easier for me to take the blame, to keep up the charade, even though I knew it was a lie. I have never been able to confront my emotions for her or come to terms with how I missed my opportunity with her.
    How many times did I flirt with her tonight or drop stupid innuendos? How many times did I glance at her inappropriately or imagine that we were more than just two people having dinner. I felt people’s eyes on us, admiring the young couple that we appeared to be, and I liked it. I liked that they thought it, I liked that it looked that way, and I didn’t want it to end. I want more, I want a lot more moments like that, and I’m sure that makes me wrong, but I don’t know if I care.
    My intentions were good, I want her to let go of her grief, put it in her past and move on. I want her to look forward to getting up everyday knowing that she has something to look forward to—a purpose. The point was to get her out of her shell, not scare her off, but I can’t seem to help myself around her. And me telling her how things would have been if she had been with a guy like me instead of Tyler… What kind of asshole am I?
    I should stop, I know. I should leave her alone, but that one smile she gave me tonight… the one she was unaware she gave, that smile made it worth it, that smile sealed my fate. I’m going to keep forcing her hand, getting her out of that fucking tomb she lives in and at the very least I’m going to make her my friend. I can be her friend if she’ll let me. I can put my feelings for her aside if it means that she can have her life back.
    At the same time I can’t help but to feel an unhealthy claim toward her. If I’m being honest with myself, I always felt that pull, and it’s why I had to make sure she hated me when she was with Tyler. If she had given me any indication that she felt the same way for me as I did for her, I would have gone after her, and it would have killed my friendship with Ty. God knows I wasn’t happy with him when he started seeing her.
    I walk into the apartment focused mainly on grabbing a change of clothes and getting in the shower. I spent the majority of my morning shooting hoops at the gym, and I smell like shit. Ty’s grabbing his car keys off the table just