Jake and me combined. I suppose losing men, more than all your fingers and toes together, does that to you. Even Brian, who’s the calmest of us all, can’t change LT’s way of thinking.
“Are the girls ready?” LT asks as he gets his morning cup of Java.
I give him a nod while looking at my watch. “In about an hour. At least, that’s what we all agreed on last night.”
“So, the schedule is, going to Trish’s doc appointment, then grocery shopping.”
I nod as I watch him map out two possible routes. This has been our life since the welcome gift the cartel left on our front door. There’s always two possible evac plans. Two routes. He looks for choke points and plans around them. It’s a big production when we venture out, and sometimes, it’s just much easier if we stay at home; but, keeping the girls cooped up makes them crazy as fuck.
LT shakes his head. “I don’t like taking all of them just to buy some chow.”
I grin at him. “All the girls are at their wits end, especially your sister, and I’m not subjecting my dick to being in timeout. Your dick might be shriveling from non-use, but don’t include me in that, man. Besides, it’s been quiet since that damn package.”
With an exasperated sigh, LT says, “That’s the thing! I don’t know when they’re going to strike again.” Shaking his head, probably trying to shake off his nerves. “Anyway, I should punish Roxy for giving us our call sign. Tell me again why I didn’t say no to her?”
“I know, you’re afraid she’s gonna cut your balls off.” I smirk at him.
Jake hollers, “We’re ready to roll guys.”
Seconds after I pulled out of the driveway LT’s pissed off voice is heard through the walkie we have in our car.
“My asshole is waiting, over.”
I can hear the snickering from the girls, and I’m sure, they’ll lose it when I answer back.
“Copy that. My baby dick is right behind you.”
Right on cue, the girls laugh uncontrollably, and Jake loses it. “Trish, stop! Every time you laugh, your tummy tightens. Relax, babe.”
“Oh, baby dick move a little closer to asshole. Hmmm, maybe not too close, you might penetrate him,” Roxy says, and it starts, another laughing fest.
Tami chimes in. “Wait, don’t we need an oil change? We have to lube it first you know, for a smooth, easy glide.”
Another round of laughter brought to you by the pussy gallery. Roxy reaches for the walkie and says, “Asshole, if you want, you can back up nice and slow.”
Summer answers, “Are you ready to mount, baby dick?”
LT’s voice in the background echoes, “Son-of-a-bitch!”
Brian shakes his head, and I almost want to slap him. He wanted me to drive, so he could avoid saying this stupid call sign. I look at Jake through the rearview mirror, and he’s pinching the bridge of his nose, more than likely counting backward. Thank God, the hospital is only fifteen minutes away. I can only say baby dick and hear asshole so many times before I completely lose my patience.
LT sounds off again. “My asshole is parking.” A couple of seconds of silence, and he comes on again. “All clear. Brian, go with Jake and take Summer. Cody, keep the brat and Tami with you. Once they’re safe inside, back up and keep moving. I’ll follow them.”
“Copy that, LT,” I answer quickly.
I turn to face Jake before he gets out. “Give me a five minute heads up before you guys come out, alright?”
Brian and Jake sandwich Summer and Trish as they enter the building, while LT follows close behind. I circle the parking lot twice until I decide to park farthest away from all the cars, so I have more room to maneuver, just in case.
“Love, can I go sit up front?” Roxy asks.
“Stay there, Rox. Don’t.Move,” I say as hard-nosed as I can without sounding like an asshole.
I’m giving Roxy another two minutes before she complains about boredom. While I’m used to it, she isn’t. I’m used to holding my position and sit for
“Are the girls ready?” LT asks as he gets his morning cup of Java.
I give him a nod while looking at my watch. “In about an hour. At least, that’s what we all agreed on last night.”
“So, the schedule is, going to Trish’s doc appointment, then grocery shopping.”
I nod as I watch him map out two possible routes. This has been our life since the welcome gift the cartel left on our front door. There’s always two possible evac plans. Two routes. He looks for choke points and plans around them. It’s a big production when we venture out, and sometimes, it’s just much easier if we stay at home; but, keeping the girls cooped up makes them crazy as fuck.
LT shakes his head. “I don’t like taking all of them just to buy some chow.”
I grin at him. “All the girls are at their wits end, especially your sister, and I’m not subjecting my dick to being in timeout. Your dick might be shriveling from non-use, but don’t include me in that, man. Besides, it’s been quiet since that damn package.”
With an exasperated sigh, LT says, “That’s the thing! I don’t know when they’re going to strike again.” Shaking his head, probably trying to shake off his nerves. “Anyway, I should punish Roxy for giving us our call sign. Tell me again why I didn’t say no to her?”
“I know, you’re afraid she’s gonna cut your balls off.” I smirk at him.
Jake hollers, “We’re ready to roll guys.”
Seconds after I pulled out of the driveway LT’s pissed off voice is heard through the walkie we have in our car.
“My asshole is waiting, over.”
I can hear the snickering from the girls, and I’m sure, they’ll lose it when I answer back.
“Copy that. My baby dick is right behind you.”
Right on cue, the girls laugh uncontrollably, and Jake loses it. “Trish, stop! Every time you laugh, your tummy tightens. Relax, babe.”
“Oh, baby dick move a little closer to asshole. Hmmm, maybe not too close, you might penetrate him,” Roxy says, and it starts, another laughing fest.
Tami chimes in. “Wait, don’t we need an oil change? We have to lube it first you know, for a smooth, easy glide.”
Another round of laughter brought to you by the pussy gallery. Roxy reaches for the walkie and says, “Asshole, if you want, you can back up nice and slow.”
Summer answers, “Are you ready to mount, baby dick?”
LT’s voice in the background echoes, “Son-of-a-bitch!”
Brian shakes his head, and I almost want to slap him. He wanted me to drive, so he could avoid saying this stupid call sign. I look at Jake through the rearview mirror, and he’s pinching the bridge of his nose, more than likely counting backward. Thank God, the hospital is only fifteen minutes away. I can only say baby dick and hear asshole so many times before I completely lose my patience.
LT sounds off again. “My asshole is parking.” A couple of seconds of silence, and he comes on again. “All clear. Brian, go with Jake and take Summer. Cody, keep the brat and Tami with you. Once they’re safe inside, back up and keep moving. I’ll follow them.”
“Copy that, LT,” I answer quickly.
I turn to face Jake before he gets out. “Give me a five minute heads up before you guys come out, alright?”
Brian and Jake sandwich Summer and Trish as they enter the building, while LT follows close behind. I circle the parking lot twice until I decide to park farthest away from all the cars, so I have more room to maneuver, just in case.
“Love, can I go sit up front?” Roxy asks.
“Stay there, Rox. Don’t.Move,” I say as hard-nosed as I can without sounding like an asshole.
I’m giving Roxy another two minutes before she complains about boredom. While I’m used to it, she isn’t. I’m used to holding my position and sit for
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