they aren’t any better shots than the men I left behind. Checking my chest for holes, my legs for spasms and my seat for wetness I take a deep breath and pull down the safety belt. Might as well. Shaking my head, visions of a bonfire fade into a memory.
2. MARCY
Waking up back in my bed there is silence all around. No birds chirping or citizens arguing. Nothing. Looking over at Roland’s bed, still made, I realize he is gone. Whatever that was last night, he isn’t here. I’ve driven him away again. The cobwebs in my skull make my thoughts slow and detached. What is the connection, who was that guy at the end, and how did Jimmy get back here? Maybe Jacob has some answers. A hunch in my gut tells me that X will not be awake or alert any time soon.
I run bruised fingertips over my aching arms riddled with scratches and cuts. I place my face in my hands but the tears won’t come. Anguish, regret, anger - sure. But no tears. As I squint my eyes and ball my fists flashes of last night come to me and I hammer my knees with the tiny amount of energy I have left.
“Fuck
it.”
I stand up and assess the damage to my body. My head throbs in a dull pulse. Every inch of my exposed arms and legs are cross-hatched from the jungle. An itch at my wrists alerts me to the fading marks on both of my arms. My back is one big bruise as though my spine is held intact by jelly and rubber bands.
“A
shower.”
Heading to the back of the tiny structure I am grateful for this one concession. Without the bathroom and its inviting tub and shower there would be little left of my femininity. I pull off my clothes in haste and drop them in a pile by the door. I reach into the shower, twist the knob, and the water shrieks to life. A deep sigh wraps around me and I brace myself on the sink. I can’t look at myself. I need to go to a place in my head where the nightmares of my past don’t exist. Where I don’t exist. Before he came to me. Before I had Roland.
The mirror fades to a hazy fog as the steam fills the room. I pull back the shower curtain and am enveloped by the water. My center, the essence of my spirit, she relaxes in the heat as my skin flushes, and the dirt falls away. Turning around I lean my head back, soaking my long hair, further immersing myself in this moment of peace. Running my hands down my body I continue to check for damage and catch moments of him entering me as I shivered and climaxed again and again. I embrace my curses and raise my hands to my breasts. Cupping them I pull gently at my nipples as a moan escapes my lips. This need is never filled for long. A hand slips between my legs as the hot water pounds my back. A long, slender finger caresses up and down as the rippling tingles extend to fill me. Faster and faster I rub, around in tiny circles, pressing harder and then easing up, pressing harder and easing up. I push a finger deep inside triggering an explosion, arching my back as my knees weaken in the aftershock. I place my hands on both sides of the tub and lower myself to the ceramic basin where I turn over to let the rainstorm descend. I lay on my back and close my eyes while I drift away in the spatter of hot water, exhausted and empty again. Now the tears come with a violence and finality that I deserve.
3. JIMMY
“Do you know what happened?” I ask. “Out there, how it became this desolate and broken?”
“Not really,” Madison replies while we both sit down on boxes and supplies in this tiny concrete bunker that has become our home and hideout.
“You haven’t seen much.”
“No. I went underground pretty fast. Once the blackout happened, well...”
“Right,” I murmur. “We all kept to ourselves pretty quickly.”
“After I ran into you in that grocery store,” she says, looking down at the floor, “well, you kind of took me under your wing.”
“I can’t do that any more Madison. I’m going to need your help. I want to tell you what is going on out there so you’re
2. MARCY
Waking up back in my bed there is silence all around. No birds chirping or citizens arguing. Nothing. Looking over at Roland’s bed, still made, I realize he is gone. Whatever that was last night, he isn’t here. I’ve driven him away again. The cobwebs in my skull make my thoughts slow and detached. What is the connection, who was that guy at the end, and how did Jimmy get back here? Maybe Jacob has some answers. A hunch in my gut tells me that X will not be awake or alert any time soon.
I run bruised fingertips over my aching arms riddled with scratches and cuts. I place my face in my hands but the tears won’t come. Anguish, regret, anger - sure. But no tears. As I squint my eyes and ball my fists flashes of last night come to me and I hammer my knees with the tiny amount of energy I have left.
“Fuck
it.”
I stand up and assess the damage to my body. My head throbs in a dull pulse. Every inch of my exposed arms and legs are cross-hatched from the jungle. An itch at my wrists alerts me to the fading marks on both of my arms. My back is one big bruise as though my spine is held intact by jelly and rubber bands.
“A
shower.”
Heading to the back of the tiny structure I am grateful for this one concession. Without the bathroom and its inviting tub and shower there would be little left of my femininity. I pull off my clothes in haste and drop them in a pile by the door. I reach into the shower, twist the knob, and the water shrieks to life. A deep sigh wraps around me and I brace myself on the sink. I can’t look at myself. I need to go to a place in my head where the nightmares of my past don’t exist. Where I don’t exist. Before he came to me. Before I had Roland.
The mirror fades to a hazy fog as the steam fills the room. I pull back the shower curtain and am enveloped by the water. My center, the essence of my spirit, she relaxes in the heat as my skin flushes, and the dirt falls away. Turning around I lean my head back, soaking my long hair, further immersing myself in this moment of peace. Running my hands down my body I continue to check for damage and catch moments of him entering me as I shivered and climaxed again and again. I embrace my curses and raise my hands to my breasts. Cupping them I pull gently at my nipples as a moan escapes my lips. This need is never filled for long. A hand slips between my legs as the hot water pounds my back. A long, slender finger caresses up and down as the rippling tingles extend to fill me. Faster and faster I rub, around in tiny circles, pressing harder and then easing up, pressing harder and easing up. I push a finger deep inside triggering an explosion, arching my back as my knees weaken in the aftershock. I place my hands on both sides of the tub and lower myself to the ceramic basin where I turn over to let the rainstorm descend. I lay on my back and close my eyes while I drift away in the spatter of hot water, exhausted and empty again. Now the tears come with a violence and finality that I deserve.
3. JIMMY
“Do you know what happened?” I ask. “Out there, how it became this desolate and broken?”
“Not really,” Madison replies while we both sit down on boxes and supplies in this tiny concrete bunker that has become our home and hideout.
“You haven’t seen much.”
“No. I went underground pretty fast. Once the blackout happened, well...”
“Right,” I murmur. “We all kept to ourselves pretty quickly.”
“After I ran into you in that grocery store,” she says, looking down at the floor, “well, you kind of took me under your wing.”
“I can’t do that any more Madison. I’m going to need your help. I want to tell you what is going on out there so you’re
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