had. Sometimes, it was easy to forget he’d only been in my life a few short years. Most of the time, it felt like he’d been here my whole life.
But, in a way, I guess he has. He was there when I buried Kylee. He was beside me when Lili was born. He really has been there my whole life.
This life, at least.
“You’re not in this alone, Lee,” he said and I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.
I gasped, blinking into the darkness, feeling completely disoriented as I tried again to hold on to what I’d been dreaming. My heart hammered as I tried to breathe normally, still feeling the effects of whatever monster had haunted my nightmares tonight. The vague outline of a large window came into view and I stared , placing my surroundings. The living room. I must have fallen asleep on Tish. I started to sit up, letting the blanket fall around my waist.
A movement across the room caused me to gasp again as I turned in that direction. A figure slumped in what had to be the most uncomfortable sleeping position imaginable in the recliner came slowly into focus and I sighed. He moved again, stretching a bit as his eyes started blinking.
“What are you doing in here?” I asked and he immediately sat up straighter, clearly having fallen asleep by accident.
“I…” He paused, clearing his throat. “I just wanted…” His voice cracked so he didn’t finish. He sighed, rubbing at his neck where he must have been laying wrong.
“You wanted what, Zane?” I sat up, pressing against my eyes with my hands for an excuse to look away from him. I hated that part of me that wanted to go massage his neck for him , that longed to take care of him.
“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said and the huskiness of his voice did nothing to help me as I tried to remind myself that he walked away from me. I hated that he was here. I wanted him , but I wanted him to need me the way I needed him. My hands felt cold as I ran them along the blanket and my heart was finally slowing to a normal rhythm.
“I’m fine,” I said, making my voice as flat as I could.
He slowly sat forward on the edge of the recliner and cupped his hands over his nose and mouth, breathing out heavily into them as he closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Pixie.” His voice was muffled as it came through his fingers.
I waited, expecting there to be more, expecting him to elaborate , but nothing else came. “Okay.” I rolled over onto my side, facing toward the couch and turning my back to him. I hoped now that he’d gotten that out of his system, maybe he’d go away. But then what? What would happen in the morning?
“Okay?” he asked, his voice louder now. He must have dropped his hands.
“Yeah. Okay.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
I sighed, scowling at the pattern in the fabric of the couch so I didn’t have to look at him. “It means I don’t know what you want me to say. You’re sorry. What exactly are you sorry for?”
I heard the squeak of the recliner as he stood and I hoped that he would just walk away again. It only took two steps for me to realize he wasn’t leaving. I could sense him coming up behind me and I hated that I could. I hated that I knew the feel of his presence without him even touching me. And I hated the way I craved for him to be closer.
I felt my weight shift as he sat on the edge of the couch behind me. Unlike Tish, he seemed to have no worries about touching me. Then again, Tish didn’t until I flinched from him. Zane’s hand brushed my hair back from my face tenderly and I closed my eyes, both loving and hating the feel of his fingers. I loved his touch and the peace it brought me but I hated it right now because I was scared. I wasn’t scared of him but I was terrified of him leaving.
When I didn’t turn or acknowledge him, he scooted down, carefully stretching out to lay behind me. I hated how every line of his body fit against every curve of mine. I hated the way we melted together,
But, in a way, I guess he has. He was there when I buried Kylee. He was beside me when Lili was born. He really has been there my whole life.
This life, at least.
“You’re not in this alone, Lee,” he said and I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.
I gasped, blinking into the darkness, feeling completely disoriented as I tried again to hold on to what I’d been dreaming. My heart hammered as I tried to breathe normally, still feeling the effects of whatever monster had haunted my nightmares tonight. The vague outline of a large window came into view and I stared , placing my surroundings. The living room. I must have fallen asleep on Tish. I started to sit up, letting the blanket fall around my waist.
A movement across the room caused me to gasp again as I turned in that direction. A figure slumped in what had to be the most uncomfortable sleeping position imaginable in the recliner came slowly into focus and I sighed. He moved again, stretching a bit as his eyes started blinking.
“What are you doing in here?” I asked and he immediately sat up straighter, clearly having fallen asleep by accident.
“I…” He paused, clearing his throat. “I just wanted…” His voice cracked so he didn’t finish. He sighed, rubbing at his neck where he must have been laying wrong.
“You wanted what, Zane?” I sat up, pressing against my eyes with my hands for an excuse to look away from him. I hated that part of me that wanted to go massage his neck for him , that longed to take care of him.
“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said and the huskiness of his voice did nothing to help me as I tried to remind myself that he walked away from me. I hated that he was here. I wanted him , but I wanted him to need me the way I needed him. My hands felt cold as I ran them along the blanket and my heart was finally slowing to a normal rhythm.
“I’m fine,” I said, making my voice as flat as I could.
He slowly sat forward on the edge of the recliner and cupped his hands over his nose and mouth, breathing out heavily into them as he closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Pixie.” His voice was muffled as it came through his fingers.
I waited, expecting there to be more, expecting him to elaborate , but nothing else came. “Okay.” I rolled over onto my side, facing toward the couch and turning my back to him. I hoped now that he’d gotten that out of his system, maybe he’d go away. But then what? What would happen in the morning?
“Okay?” he asked, his voice louder now. He must have dropped his hands.
“Yeah. Okay.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
I sighed, scowling at the pattern in the fabric of the couch so I didn’t have to look at him. “It means I don’t know what you want me to say. You’re sorry. What exactly are you sorry for?”
I heard the squeak of the recliner as he stood and I hoped that he would just walk away again. It only took two steps for me to realize he wasn’t leaving. I could sense him coming up behind me and I hated that I could. I hated that I knew the feel of his presence without him even touching me. And I hated the way I craved for him to be closer.
I felt my weight shift as he sat on the edge of the couch behind me. Unlike Tish, he seemed to have no worries about touching me. Then again, Tish didn’t until I flinched from him. Zane’s hand brushed my hair back from my face tenderly and I closed my eyes, both loving and hating the feel of his fingers. I loved his touch and the peace it brought me but I hated it right now because I was scared. I wasn’t scared of him but I was terrified of him leaving.
When I didn’t turn or acknowledge him, he scooted down, carefully stretching out to lay behind me. I hated how every line of his body fit against every curve of mine. I hated the way we melted together,
Similar Books
