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Dean’s side offering comfort throughout the services at Grace Church. The death of a close relative devastated most HIV-positive individuals, reducing their sense of a safety net—creating a world where there was one less person who cared about their fate. Dean was no exception. After his mother’s death, he withdrew into a drug-induced haze, sleeping whole days away.
Elizabeth, Dean’s Hungarian housekeeper, grew increasingly concerned about Dean, too. He had stirred up her maternal instincts, making her as protective of him as she would be for a son. Even though she only worked weekdays, Elizabeth frequently dropped in on Sunday afternoons to make sure Dean was okay. She feared thatshe’d come to work one day and find him dead from a drug overdose.
Sam Faiello, Dean’s father, was still estranged from his son. Dean never forgave him for his abusive behavior, or for divorcing his mother, or for the wounds inflicted when Dean came out of the closet.
Dean had made some effort to interact with his father while his mother was still alive. At her prodding, he called Sam on his birthday and on Father’s Day. Now that his mother was gone, those efforts died, too.
As far as Dean was concerned, their relationship was scarred for life. No contact was necessary or even desirable. Nonetheless, Sam did show some paternal concern for his only son. He called Elizabeth often to find out how Dean was doing.
Greg could no longer remain silent in the face of Dean’s deterioration. With the help of a mutual friend who was a physician, Greg got Dean back into rehab on an outpatient basis. Dean visited a Manhattan clinic three mornings a week.
Once again, Dean expressed a sincere desire to give up alcohol and drugs. His life eventually returned to an even keel—he worked hard, enjoyed life and made progress in resurrecting his economic stability.
Greg expected that Dean would receive some inheritance from his mother, which would ease some of his financial difficulties. Debra, though, inherited everything. Greg asked him why he didn’t get a share of his mother’s estate. Dean shrugged and said, “Because I’m so irresponsible with money.” What Greg didn’t know was that, in a sense, Dean received his inheritance in advance. Before his mother passed away, Dean applied for and got a number of credit cards in his mother’s name. He maxed out every one of them.
After Carmel’s death, the bills came in, revealing Dean’sfraud. The estate paid thousands of dollars to clear the debt Dean had incurred. No one pressed charges.
Greg believed that if he could ferret out the root cause of Dean’s addiction, if he could uncover a traumatic incident in his childhood, then he could guide him through the self-examination and confession that are often the first step to healing. In this way, he felt Dean could make meaningful and abiding changes in his life. “Why do you need to abuse drugs and alcohol?” Greg asked him.
Dean’s only response was a shrug.
“Why are you so unhappy?”
Dean brushed off the question with a non-answer: “I was born unhappy.”
Then, a lawsuit disrupted Dean’s peace of mind and his fragile hold on sobriety. Former patient Mark Schuckman sued Dean for $8,000, claiming that the laser treatments Dean used to remove hair from his back were useless—Dean’s promises of results were bogus. Since laser was not as effective with hair removal on the upper torso as it was on the lower half of the body, it was unclear whether Dean or the technology were at fault. Nonetheless, after months of wrangling, the suit was settled. In addition to attorney fees, Dean had to pay Schuckman $3,250. It was a blow to Dean’s bottom line and to his battle against addiction.
Again, Dean embraced his old habits of drugs, alcohol and escapism. Again, substance abuse only served to feed the demons and make them stronger.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
JASON OPSAHL RETURNED TO NEW YORK IN 1998 , HIS REGI men of chemotherapy
Kathi Mills-Macias
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Annette Blair
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Stephen Maher
Bill O’Reilly
Keith Donohue
James Axler
Liz Lee
Usman Ijaz