Under Seige by Catherine Mann Page A

thousand logical reasons crowding her brain and telling her this was a bad, bad idea, she weakened. Even Patrick chipped away at her already crumbling resolve with a gurgle from the car.
    Zach edged forward as if sensing his advantage and pressed ahead. "The kids need us and what we can give them together, now more than ever." She knew he was right, although she resented his using the all-out impact of that charismatic will to convince her. How could she turn away from those two girls who'd already worked their way into her heart with their vulnerable eyes? How could she say no to the sweet baby cooing such trust from the back seat?
    Yet a part of her wanted something more from this proposal, some indication that he needed her and not just the role she filled for his children.
    A dangerous wish since she wouldn't know what to do with such a statement even if he made it. Julia threw out the first line of defense that came to mind. "We never settled the issue of sex. I mean it when I say I'm not ready and you almost had me convinced you were okay with that. Zach, the kiss changes everything."
    "Only if we let it, and we won't."
    Zach advanced another step. She retreated until her back smacked flush against her car. "Stop. Please."
    "Okay. I hear you." He held a hand up. "If us having sex is a stumbling block to doing what's right for the kids, then we'll do without. We'll go back to the way things were last year other than sharing a house. I'll buy that day-bed for the computer room first thing tomorrow."
    "Won't it seem strange to the children?" What was she trying to do? Convince him to say no to the marriage or no to sleeping in another bed?
    "I do not have to explain my sex life to my teenager." The eye tic flicked again. The tender comforter who had lured Julia into considering his proposal slipped away.
    "It's not that simple."
    "Sure it is." Military bearing starched right up his spine. "If anyone else asks, I'm working late hours and don't want to disturb the baby. Or the baby is waking up at night and I sleep in there to keep from breaking crew rest. Whatever. It's no one's business where you and I sleep."
    Yeah, right. Like anything could stay secret in the fish-bowl community of base housing. What a rumor-mill nightmare, as if there wouldn't already be enough gossip with the commander's daughter and the base chaplain's son caught together on the golf course. Not a chance would any of their personal lives or sleeping arrangements stay secret.
    She'd swallowed nearly a lifetime supply of pride over Lance's affair. She wasn't sure she could sacrifice what little she had left even to frivolous gossip. But what other choice did she have?
    Her legs folded and she sank back into her car.
    "Julia?"
    She jolted back to the present. "What?"
    "First thing tomorrow morning, I'll talk to the base chaplain. Double duty since I have to speak with him about his son and Shelby. With any luck, he can marry us before the weekend."
    Julia bristled at his assumption. She wasn't one of his men to be ordered around. "Now wait just—"
    "We should be able to get the license right after I meet with Chaplain Murdoch." He pressed a thumb to his forehead. "No wait. I have a meeting after that. Count on one o'clock unless you hear otherwise from me."
    He reached for the door, and she slid her legs inside without thinking. The door closed with a snap.
    When had she lost control?
    With a curt nod, he thumped the roof of her car in a farewell salute and spun away on his boot heel.
    Julia steamed. Damn his presumptuous orders and that fine butt sauntering up the steps. She flung open the car door to tell him exactly where he could go tomorrow at one o'clock and what he could do with his proposal when he got there.
    Zach stopped.
    He paused on the top stoop, his back to her. Shoulders as broad as the doorway dropped, his head falling forward. His hand fisted at his side, raising, halting then thudding against the doorframe. A shudder ripped through