Uncle John’s Heavy Duty Bathroom Reader@ by Bathroom Readers’ Institute Page A

Internet—they’d just plug the WebTV console into a television. Microsoft execs thought it was such a sure thing that they bought WebTV for $425 million in 1997, when the service had only 58,000 customers. (That’s more than $7,300 per customer.) Subscribers did use WebTV (rebranded as MSN TV) to surf the Internet and send e-mail, but did not, as Microsoft had hoped, create any revenue beyond their monthly $20 service fee. Microsoft incorrectly assumed that WebTV users would click on online ads or shop online (from which Microsoft would get a cut). Not only that, they actually cost Microsoft money in tech support. WebTV had so effectively courted technology-phobes that those customers became its bane, with more than 10,000 calls daily to tech support. WebTV peaked in 1998 with around 500,000 customers, but then began a slow and steady decline. The service and boxes still exist, but there are only a few thousand WebTV/MSN TV subscribers left. And Microsoft has stopped selling boxes to new subscribers.

    “Kickboxing is my favorite sport. It combines the grace and elegance of boxing…with kicking.”
    —Norm MacDonald

WELCOME TO DRUK YUL
Isn’t it odd that we call Germany “Germany,” while people who live there call it “Deutschland”? Here’s what we should be calling some other countries .
    H UNGARY: Magyarorszag ( my-uh-YORR-sag )
    SWEDEN: Sverige ( SVERR-ee-uh )
    POLAND: Polska ( POLE-skuh )
    JAPAN: Nippon ( nee-PON )
    IRELAND: Éire ( AIR-uh )
    GREENLAND: Kalaallit Nunaat ( kuh-LAH-leet noo-NAHT )
    WALES: Cymru ( CUMM-ree )
    ESTONIA: Eesti ( ESS-tee )
    CROATIA: Hrvatska ( kurr-VOT-skuh )
    FINLAND: Suomi ( soo-OH-mee)
    GREECE: Ellas ( ELL-us )
    NEW ZEALAND, in Maori: Aotearoa ( AH-tee-air-oh-ah )
    CAMBODIA: Kampuchea ( kam-poo-CHEE-uh )
    SOUTH KOREA: Hanguk ( hahn-GUHK )
    NORTH KOREA: Choson ( cho-SAHN )
    BHUTAN: Druk Yul ( druk yool )
    THAILAND: Ratcha Anachak Thai ( RAW-tcha ah-NAH-chak tai )
    ALBANIA: Shqiperia ( shkee-PAH-ree-uh )
    GEORGIA: Sakartvelo ( sak-ART-vuh-low )
    ARMENIA: Hayastan ( HI-uh-stahn )
    MALDIVES: Dhivehi Raajje ( duh-VEH-ehh rah-JEE )
    MOROCCO: Al-Maghrib ( all-muh-GRIB )
    BELGIUM, in Dutch: Belgie ( bell-GEH )
    …in French: Belgique ( bell-JEEK )
    …in German: Belgien ( bell-GEE-in )
    (Belgium has three official languages.)
Fat chance: If you’re 5'6" and weigh over 165 lbs., you can become a Sumo wrestler.

THE LOST EXPLORERS:
MUNGO PARK
Veni, vidi…evanui! (I came, I saw…I vanished!) Here’s the first article in a series on bold, intrepid explorers…who never returned .
    T HE WILD ROVER
    Mungo Park was barely 22 years old when he left England for Sumatra in 1792 and discovered seven new species of fish. Three years later, Park ventured from the west coast of Africa into the unknown Saharan interior to become the first European to reach the Niger River and trace its course for more than 300 miles. Imprisoned by a Senegalese chieftain for four months, he escaped with only a horse and compass and somehow found his way back to the safety of the coast. Upon returning to England, he chronicled his adventures in Travels in the Interior of Africa, which secured his reputation as the boldest explorer of his time. Any other man might have rested on his laurels, spent his royalties (his book was a bestseller), and enjoyed life as a country squire with his wife and children. Not Mungo Park. He had the “itch”—a compulsion to wander. So when the British crown asked him to lead another expedition into the Sahara, he jumped at the chance.
    RIVER OF NO RETURN
    On January 31, 1805, Mungo Park and a company of 40 men sailed from Portsmouth, England, disembarked in Gambia in western Africa, and set off overland. By the time they reached the Niger River months later, only 11 men remained; fever and dysentery had killed the rest. Undaunted, they began building a 40-foot boat in which to sail down the unexplored stretch of the river to its mouth. Park dubbed the ship the HMS Joliba, after