Uncle John's Bathroom Reader The World's Gone Crazy by Bathroom Readers’ Institute Page B
Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Ads: Link
What was it?
ONE MILLION GUESSES LATER: Hopefully one of your guesses was “A piece of a fir tree.” Dr. Vladimir Kamashev opened Sidorenko’s chest and, he said later, was about to remove most of the lung but decided to analyze the growth first. He cut into it and found what looked like a needle from a pine tree. “At first I thought that I was seeing an illusion,” he said. “I asked my assistant to check it out, and he confirmed it. There was a fir tree in his lung.” They removed the approximately two-inch-long piece—complete with several needles—and were able to save Sidorenko’s lung. Even stranger, the doctors actually believe that it was a tiny tree growing in his lung. Kamashev said that Sidorenko must have inhaled a fir tree seed or bud, and that it had somehow germinated and started growing. Botanists said that that’s not possible because trees, like all plants, need light to grow. Sidorenko, they say, must have somehow inhaled the tiny branch as it was. (The question is: Wouldn’t he have noticed that?)
STORY: In September 2009, Tatiata Kozhevnikova, a 42-year-old housewife and fitness enthusiast from the Russian city of Novosibirsk, made it into Guinness World Records . What was her world record?
ONE MILLION GUESSES LATER: Kozhevnikova set the record for having “the world’s strongest vagina muscles.” Fifteen years after she had children, she explained to reporters, she developed an exercise for what she called her “intimate muscles.” It involved a specially designed device that she clamps down on with—well, you get the idea. The other end of the device is attached to a set of weights. Her record lift: 14 kilograms (just over 30 pounds).
If you’ve got a few more million guesses in you, we’ve got some more quiz questions on page 313 .
----
Why sue? Only 3% of all legal cases in the U.S. ever make it to the courtroom .
----
MADOFF WITH
THE GOODS
Here’s a news item from the future: “June 29, 2159: 231-year-old former stockbroker Bernard Madoff was released today after his 150-year prison sentence ended. His first words to reporters: ‘I want my stuff back.’”
E VERYTHING MUST GO
Over a career of more than two decades, stockbroker—and scam artist—Bernie Madoff bilked thousands of investors out of nearly $20 billion in what is considered the biggest Ponzi scheme in history. He was arrested in December 2008, and pleaded guilty to securities fraud, mail fraud, money laundering, perjury, theft, and six other charges four months later. In November 2009, while Madoff was beginning a 150-year prison term, the U.S. Marshals Service attempted to return some of that money to his victims by holding a series of auctions. The first one was held at the Sheraton Hotel in New York City. Purses, ashtrays, dishes, jewelry, golf clubs, stationery, duck decoys, and a Wayne Gretzky action figure were among the 200 items stacked on folding tables or leaned against walls, ready to go to the highest bidder. What did these things all have in common? They belonged to Madoff and his family, and were seized from their Manhattan penthouse and Montauk, Long Island, vacation home.
As collectors from around the world queued up to bid on the items from the New York sale, the auctioneers estimated they’d fetch about $500,000. Turns out they grossly underestimated just how crazy some people will go for anything (no matter how seemingly insignificant) that has “celebrity” status.
HEY BIDDER, BIDDER…SWWWING, BIDDER!
Auction item: A blue satin New York Mets baseball team jacket with “Madoff” stitched on the back in orange. (Ironically, team owner Fred Wilpon was one of Madoff’s victims.)
Estimated value: $720
Sold for: $14,500
----
New definition of “ladylike?” King Henry VIII’s ladies at court had a ration of one gallon of beer per day .
----
Auction items: A Lady Hermes brown suede handbag that belonged to Madoff’s wife, Ruth, plus two other purses.
Estimated value: $210
Sold
ONE MILLION GUESSES LATER: Hopefully one of your guesses was “A piece of a fir tree.” Dr. Vladimir Kamashev opened Sidorenko’s chest and, he said later, was about to remove most of the lung but decided to analyze the growth first. He cut into it and found what looked like a needle from a pine tree. “At first I thought that I was seeing an illusion,” he said. “I asked my assistant to check it out, and he confirmed it. There was a fir tree in his lung.” They removed the approximately two-inch-long piece—complete with several needles—and were able to save Sidorenko’s lung. Even stranger, the doctors actually believe that it was a tiny tree growing in his lung. Kamashev said that Sidorenko must have inhaled a fir tree seed or bud, and that it had somehow germinated and started growing. Botanists said that that’s not possible because trees, like all plants, need light to grow. Sidorenko, they say, must have somehow inhaled the tiny branch as it was. (The question is: Wouldn’t he have noticed that?)
STORY: In September 2009, Tatiata Kozhevnikova, a 42-year-old housewife and fitness enthusiast from the Russian city of Novosibirsk, made it into Guinness World Records . What was her world record?
ONE MILLION GUESSES LATER: Kozhevnikova set the record for having “the world’s strongest vagina muscles.” Fifteen years after she had children, she explained to reporters, she developed an exercise for what she called her “intimate muscles.” It involved a specially designed device that she clamps down on with—well, you get the idea. The other end of the device is attached to a set of weights. Her record lift: 14 kilograms (just over 30 pounds).
If you’ve got a few more million guesses in you, we’ve got some more quiz questions on page 313 .
----
Why sue? Only 3% of all legal cases in the U.S. ever make it to the courtroom .
----
MADOFF WITH
THE GOODS
Here’s a news item from the future: “June 29, 2159: 231-year-old former stockbroker Bernard Madoff was released today after his 150-year prison sentence ended. His first words to reporters: ‘I want my stuff back.’”
E VERYTHING MUST GO
Over a career of more than two decades, stockbroker—and scam artist—Bernie Madoff bilked thousands of investors out of nearly $20 billion in what is considered the biggest Ponzi scheme in history. He was arrested in December 2008, and pleaded guilty to securities fraud, mail fraud, money laundering, perjury, theft, and six other charges four months later. In November 2009, while Madoff was beginning a 150-year prison term, the U.S. Marshals Service attempted to return some of that money to his victims by holding a series of auctions. The first one was held at the Sheraton Hotel in New York City. Purses, ashtrays, dishes, jewelry, golf clubs, stationery, duck decoys, and a Wayne Gretzky action figure were among the 200 items stacked on folding tables or leaned against walls, ready to go to the highest bidder. What did these things all have in common? They belonged to Madoff and his family, and were seized from their Manhattan penthouse and Montauk, Long Island, vacation home.
As collectors from around the world queued up to bid on the items from the New York sale, the auctioneers estimated they’d fetch about $500,000. Turns out they grossly underestimated just how crazy some people will go for anything (no matter how seemingly insignificant) that has “celebrity” status.
HEY BIDDER, BIDDER…SWWWING, BIDDER!
Auction item: A blue satin New York Mets baseball team jacket with “Madoff” stitched on the back in orange. (Ironically, team owner Fred Wilpon was one of Madoff’s victims.)
Estimated value: $720
Sold for: $14,500
----
New definition of “ladylike?” King Henry VIII’s ladies at court had a ration of one gallon of beer per day .
----
Auction items: A Lady Hermes brown suede handbag that belonged to Madoff’s wife, Ruth, plus two other purses.
Estimated value: $210
Sold
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