Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Golden Plunger Awards by Bathroom Readers’ Institute Page A

though. Sometimes they want to say just enough to get audiences excited to learn more about the characters in the story. These are the best enticements to spend a little time with someone who’s a little different.
    • “I hate him! I love him! He’s a scoundrel! He’s a saint! He’s crazy! He’s a genius!” Citizen Kane (1941)
    • “Jim Stark . . . a kid from a ‘good’ family—what makes him tick . . . like a bomb?” Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
    • “This is Benjamin. He’s a little worried about his future.” The Graduate (1967)
    • “Not since the dawn of time has America experienced a man like Howard Beale!” Network (1976)
    • “Nobody knows Rupert Pupkin, but after 11:30 tonight no one will ever forget him.” The King of Comedy (1983)
    • “If adventure has a name, it must be Indiana Jones.” Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
    • “The story of a rebel and his bike.” Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (1985)
    • “His story will touch you, even though he can’t.” Edward Scissorhands (1990)
    • “You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll hurl!” Wayne’s World (1992)
    • “If you can’t be famous . . . be infamous.” Chicago (2004)

MASTERS OF HYPE
    They may overstate their case, but there’s no denying these taglines have a point.
    • “The most awesome thriller of all time.” King Kong (1933)
    • “The more he yearns for a woman’s arms . . . the fiercer he lusts for the treasure that cursed them all!” The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
    • “They had a date with fate in Casablanca!” Casablanca (1942)
    • “His whole life was a million-to-one shot.” Rocky (1976)

    • “They’re young. They’re in love . . . and they kill people.” Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
    • “It’s time to kick some asteroid.” Armageddon (1998)
    • “On my command—unleash hell!” Gladiator (2000)

KEEP IT SIMPLE
    Sometimes you need to get right to the point and sum up the entire movie in one short line. It may seem like the easiest way to go, but it’s probably the most difficult to get right. Here are the ones that did it best:
    • “Simple. Powerful. Unforgettable.” High Noon (1952)
    • “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story (1970)
    • “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away . . .” Star Wars (1977)
    • “He is afraid. He is alone. He is three million light years from home.” E.T. (1982)
    • “The first casualty of war is innocence.” Platoon (1986)
    • “Can two friends sleep together and still love each other in the morning?” When Harry Met Sally (1989)
    • “The story of two people who got married, met, and then fell in love.” Green Card (1990)
    • “One ring to rule them all.” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
    • “Bigger, squarer, spongier!” The SpongeBob Square Pants Movie (2004)
    • “Love is a force of nature.” Brokeback Mountain (2005)

    “What does the Academy Award mean?
I don’t think it means much of anything.”
    — Sally Field, after winning the Best Actress
Oscar for Norma Rae (1980)

THE PERSONAL ASSISTANT AWARD
    Baboon Jack, the Signalman
    James Wide nearly lost his job twice, but a trusted
baboon named Jack saved him both times.
    OUCH!
    Railway guard James Wide earned his nickname, “Jumper,” because he liked to jump from one railway car to another—often while they were still moving. He worked in the town of Uitenhage, South Africa, during the late 19th century, and he did his job well, even if he had an unorthodox way of doing it. But jumping from car to car was a dangerous game, and one day he paid a terrible price for it.
    Wide slipped during one of his jumps and got his legs caught under the train. They were amputated below the knees. In most cases, that would have been the end of his career as a guard. Instead, he changed jobs, became a signalman (who used a series of flags to signal to trains that the needed to stop or slow down), and also found help