Two Steps Back by Britni Danielle

day.
    Sure, they’d roamed around London like a happy couple, but she wasn’t integrated into his life. Johnny had never introduced her to his friends, had never invited her up to his office, and had yet to tell his family he was in love with her.
    Johnny stared at Jaylah, stunned, and she took advantage of his silence.
    “I’ve never met a single person you know , Johnny. Do you realize that? Not a single person. I know your parents moved back to Ghana, but you’ve got a sister in Manchester. That’s like two hours away! Haven’t met her. Haven’t been introduced to anyone you work with. Haven’t met any of your friends,” she got out of bed and began pacing around the room. “Meanwhile, You’ve hung out with me and Jourdan, you’ve met my boss, and now you’re meeting my parents. Do you know why that is?” she paused and waited for a response, but Johnny was rendered mute. “Because I fucking care about you. I love you. You’re an important part of my life, Johnny, so I’ve included you in it. I’m not stashing you away like something I’m ashamed of.”
    He came alive then. “I’m not ashamed of you, Jaylah.”
    “Oh really?” She threw back her head and laughed. “And how would I know that exactly?” she asked, crossing her arms and glowering at him.
    “Because I love you, and—“
    She cut him off, shaking her head. “Words. Those are just words, Johnny.”
    “Just words? So you don’t think I love you?”
    “You know what I learned back in my writing classes in college?”
    “What doe s that have to do with anything?” he asked, perplexed by her sudden segue.
    “Show, don’t tell,” Jaylah said, ignoring his question.
    “Excuse me? I don’t under—“
    “No disrespect, Johnny, but at this point, your words don’t mean shit. Don’t get me wrong. They’re nice to hear, and most times I believe them, but if they aren’t backed by up by actions, then there’re just meaningless words.”
    “ Now, hold on just a minute. Where are we right now? Are we in England? Is this your flat?” Johnny looked around the hotel room, his voice rising. “No, we’re in L.A. because you asked me to come. I got on a plane and flew 11 bloody hours— in the middle seat, by the way—because you asked me to come. ”
    “And I appreciate it, but—“
    “But nothing, Jaylah. I am showing you with my actions. You asked me to move out of my house and now I’m living in a fucking hotel. You asked me to come, and I’m here. You asked me to meet your parents and I’m meeting them tonight. That’s not enough action for you?”
    “ I appreciate those things, Johnny, I do. But now I’m asking you to tell your family I exist. That I matter,” Jaylah said, her voice cracking. “That we’re having a baby. That you want to be with me. That I didn’t ruin your life.”
    He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her waist and planted his lips on her forehead. “I will, Jaylah.”
    “When?” S he glanced up at him, her eyes moist again. “When, Johnny? The time will never be right. It’s not going to get any easier to tell them you and Fiona didn’t work out, and that you fell in love with someone else.”
    Johnny collapsed on the bed and put his head in his hands. “I know,” he whispered. “I just…I just don’t like letting anyone down, especially my father. He expects so much of me. Sometimes it feels impossible to live up to it, innit?”
    Somet hing inside Jaylah softened. Seeing Johnny, her Johnny —who always seemed to move through the world like he owned it—humbled and vulnerable drew her closer to him. She sat in his lap and tipped his chin toward her face until they were looking into each other’s eyes.
    “I totally understand. I lived my whole life try ing to measure up to everyone else’s standards. And I was miserable. I felt like one of those lab rats suck in cage. Just trapped. But you know what happened when I broke out?” She stroked the side of his face and