on his way
out of the house or I was. As I said before, I like to stay busy.
I was content with the
direction my life had taken. I had a boyfriend and for the first time in my
life, I had an actual friend. I knew things wouldn't stay like this forever. I
might have grown up sheltered, but I wasn't naïve. Cole lived a very fast paced
life and he was taking me along for the ride. I also knew our relationship
would evolve and change. I expected it to grow either more intense as we spent more time together or there
was the real possibility it could implode and fizzle.
But when the change came,
it wasn't what I was expecting.
It came in the form of
Cole's fist. It was also the turning point for me and Noah. My actions from
this night would send me down the irrevocable path that fate deemed I deserved.
***
I am bored and more than a
little annoyed with Cole. We've been at this fraternity party for over an hour
and a half, and I have yet to spend any real time with him. Right from the
start, he'd gone off to deal drugs, leaving me to entertain myself. Normally I
tag along but Cole told me he'd be right back. I finally tried searching for
him but the house was too crowded.
A little part of me briefly
wonders if Cole is sneaking around behind my back, cheating on me in one of the
bedrooms upstairs. But then I shove that thought aside. Cole's pretty
territorial when it comes to me. As soon as we enter a party, he makes it clear
I am with him and off limits. Very rarely do guys approach me anymore. And
occasionally when they do, Cole literally appears out of nowhere to stake his
claim. I am guessing he has people watching me when he is not in the same room
with me.
I'm not quite sure what to
think of the power Cole has here in Citrus Heights. It didn't seem to matter
where we went, people were respectful towards him and they tended to steer
clear of his personal space. Cole is only eighteen but already he's a
successful dealer. He circuits the party scene, especially the high school and
college crowd while Ethan does most of his business in clubs and out of town.
As I sip my drink and watch
people dance, I momentarily wonder what Tate would do if he knew just how deep
I was with these kinds of people. Tate thought the worst thing I was doing was
underage drinking. He'd flip if he knew that Cole was a regular on the drug
scene and I was along for the thrill.
Did I feel guilty? A little
bit. But I'd rather be doing this than be stuck sitting home all by myself.
An unladylike snort escapes
into my cup as I take another drink. Here I am alone, anyway. I should have
just stayed home. As I gaze around the room, I debate what to do. I am very
tempted to simply walk out of the house and find my own way home just to spite
Cole, but all that would get me is a whole lot of nothing. Cole would more likely
stay here instead of coming after me.
I swear he's bipolar. He runs
hot and cold, rarely is there an in-between with him. There are evenings where
I have his full attention and then there are other evenings where it is a
struggle to keep it. I've began to wonder if he is losing interest. I still
refuse to try drugs and I still won't go any further than making-out with him.
I know he is irritated over the boundaries I've set and even though he tries
not to show it, I can see it in his eyes.
Cole's not exactly boyfriend
material, I know that. He doesn't give me gifts, he doesn't say pretty words,
and he doesn't go out of his way to take me on proper dates. Do I want of any
of that? I'm not sure. Cole is the first guy I've ever dated, so I've never
experienced any real dates or any kind of romancing. It didn't really matter
anyway. I'm with Cole and I am content right where I am. He gives me everything
I need. He's fun and he is my escape. Not to mention he is gorgeous and our
make-out sessions are really, really hot. He is my distraction from all the
badness that haunts me.
I'm jolted from my thoughts
as a guy bumps into me as he walks
out of the house or I was. As I said before, I like to stay busy.
I was content with the
direction my life had taken. I had a boyfriend and for the first time in my
life, I had an actual friend. I knew things wouldn't stay like this forever. I
might have grown up sheltered, but I wasn't naïve. Cole lived a very fast paced
life and he was taking me along for the ride. I also knew our relationship
would evolve and change. I expected it to grow either more intense as we spent more time together or there
was the real possibility it could implode and fizzle.
But when the change came,
it wasn't what I was expecting.
It came in the form of
Cole's fist. It was also the turning point for me and Noah. My actions from
this night would send me down the irrevocable path that fate deemed I deserved.
***
I am bored and more than a
little annoyed with Cole. We've been at this fraternity party for over an hour
and a half, and I have yet to spend any real time with him. Right from the
start, he'd gone off to deal drugs, leaving me to entertain myself. Normally I
tag along but Cole told me he'd be right back. I finally tried searching for
him but the house was too crowded.
A little part of me briefly
wonders if Cole is sneaking around behind my back, cheating on me in one of the
bedrooms upstairs. But then I shove that thought aside. Cole's pretty
territorial when it comes to me. As soon as we enter a party, he makes it clear
I am with him and off limits. Very rarely do guys approach me anymore. And
occasionally when they do, Cole literally appears out of nowhere to stake his
claim. I am guessing he has people watching me when he is not in the same room
with me.
I'm not quite sure what to
think of the power Cole has here in Citrus Heights. It didn't seem to matter
where we went, people were respectful towards him and they tended to steer
clear of his personal space. Cole is only eighteen but already he's a
successful dealer. He circuits the party scene, especially the high school and
college crowd while Ethan does most of his business in clubs and out of town.
As I sip my drink and watch
people dance, I momentarily wonder what Tate would do if he knew just how deep
I was with these kinds of people. Tate thought the worst thing I was doing was
underage drinking. He'd flip if he knew that Cole was a regular on the drug
scene and I was along for the thrill.
Did I feel guilty? A little
bit. But I'd rather be doing this than be stuck sitting home all by myself.
An unladylike snort escapes
into my cup as I take another drink. Here I am alone, anyway. I should have
just stayed home. As I gaze around the room, I debate what to do. I am very
tempted to simply walk out of the house and find my own way home just to spite
Cole, but all that would get me is a whole lot of nothing. Cole would more likely
stay here instead of coming after me.
I swear he's bipolar. He runs
hot and cold, rarely is there an in-between with him. There are evenings where
I have his full attention and then there are other evenings where it is a
struggle to keep it. I've began to wonder if he is losing interest. I still
refuse to try drugs and I still won't go any further than making-out with him.
I know he is irritated over the boundaries I've set and even though he tries
not to show it, I can see it in his eyes.
Cole's not exactly boyfriend
material, I know that. He doesn't give me gifts, he doesn't say pretty words,
and he doesn't go out of his way to take me on proper dates. Do I want of any
of that? I'm not sure. Cole is the first guy I've ever dated, so I've never
experienced any real dates or any kind of romancing. It didn't really matter
anyway. I'm with Cole and I am content right where I am. He gives me everything
I need. He's fun and he is my escape. Not to mention he is gorgeous and our
make-out sessions are really, really hot. He is my distraction from all the
badness that haunts me.
I'm jolted from my thoughts
as a guy bumps into me as he walks
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