he wrote. No denial. Nothing. Sadi debated with herself. She didn’t think she should go home yet, but she also couldn’t stay at Christine’s.
Finally she decided she wasn’t ready to face anyone yet. She needed a couple more days to think and to figure things out. Was her whole life a lie? The man she married, the father of her children, hadn’t been who Sadi thought he was. Or had he? The two brothers had been fighting and it was impossible to tell what was true and what wasn’t. It was possible that Connor was just confused about everything, wasn’t it? That Luke really was Luke and had been all along? Sadi had a sinking feeling, deep in the pit of her stomach, that Connor hadn’t been wrong. That she had been tricked and her marriage, her happiness, her life, everything, was a lie.
***
When Sadi finally walked through the door of her house, she wasn’t sure what she would find. She had waited a couple days to clear her head before finally texting Luke- or whoever he was- that she was coming home to talk. She had left the kids with Christine and driven over here, no small amount of trepidation mounting in her chest.
He was waiting for her, sitting rigidly on the sofa in the family room.
“Why? Why did you do it?” Sadi whispered as she sat down on the couch opposite Luke. Or Connor.
At least he had the decency to look ashamed. “Sadi-“ he reached for her hand but she wouldn’t give it. She retreated further back into the couch, shrinking away from his extended arm. She saw the wounded look cross his face but she couldn’t help herself. She didn’t want him to touch her.
“It’s true what Luke said. I am Connor. I have been Connor this entire time.”
Sadi let out a strangled cry of outrage. She wanted to jump up and leave but something kept her rooted to her seat. She had to find out why Connor had lied, had stolen his brother’s life, and her. It just didn’t make sense.
“Why?” Sadi asked again.
Connor sighed. His shoulders sagged and he clasped his hands in front of him, over his knees. It was a pose Sadi recognized well and that thought sent a shiver up her spine.
“I had to do it Sadi. When the bombing happened and I found out they hadn’t found Luke yet…. I always loved you Sadi. From the first moment I saw you. And believe it or not, it was me you saw first. Not Luke.
I was jealous that he was the one you chose to love. He didn’t deserve you Sadi. He didn’t love you at the end, right before the bombing. He was cheating on you. He was going to break it off. After the bombing, when I found out that my brother was missing, I thought of this crazy scheme. That I would pretend to be him. That I would say my name was Luke and that maybe, just maybe, I could make things right with you. That I could have the chance to love you I had always wanted.
I thought if they found Luke I would just say I was confused. That I must have hit my head in the blast. And I would remember I was Connor and things would continue on as before. But if he wasn’t found… I wanted you to be loved Sadi. Loved and cherished and looked after.
I wanted to give you the life you deserved to have with my brother. So I did it. I have been ashamed of myself all these years. I’ve lived in fear that one morning I would wake up and it would all disappear. All of it. Because the real Luke returned.”
Sadi didn’t know what to say. She stared at the floor, trying to blink back the rapidly gathering tears. Luke had been cheating on her? She knew their relationship had been rocky, but she thought she was the only one who had been unhappy enough
Finally she decided she wasn’t ready to face anyone yet. She needed a couple more days to think and to figure things out. Was her whole life a lie? The man she married, the father of her children, hadn’t been who Sadi thought he was. Or had he? The two brothers had been fighting and it was impossible to tell what was true and what wasn’t. It was possible that Connor was just confused about everything, wasn’t it? That Luke really was Luke and had been all along? Sadi had a sinking feeling, deep in the pit of her stomach, that Connor hadn’t been wrong. That she had been tricked and her marriage, her happiness, her life, everything, was a lie.
***
When Sadi finally walked through the door of her house, she wasn’t sure what she would find. She had waited a couple days to clear her head before finally texting Luke- or whoever he was- that she was coming home to talk. She had left the kids with Christine and driven over here, no small amount of trepidation mounting in her chest.
He was waiting for her, sitting rigidly on the sofa in the family room.
“Why? Why did you do it?” Sadi whispered as she sat down on the couch opposite Luke. Or Connor.
At least he had the decency to look ashamed. “Sadi-“ he reached for her hand but she wouldn’t give it. She retreated further back into the couch, shrinking away from his extended arm. She saw the wounded look cross his face but she couldn’t help herself. She didn’t want him to touch her.
“It’s true what Luke said. I am Connor. I have been Connor this entire time.”
Sadi let out a strangled cry of outrage. She wanted to jump up and leave but something kept her rooted to her seat. She had to find out why Connor had lied, had stolen his brother’s life, and her. It just didn’t make sense.
“Why?” Sadi asked again.
Connor sighed. His shoulders sagged and he clasped his hands in front of him, over his knees. It was a pose Sadi recognized well and that thought sent a shiver up her spine.
“I had to do it Sadi. When the bombing happened and I found out they hadn’t found Luke yet…. I always loved you Sadi. From the first moment I saw you. And believe it or not, it was me you saw first. Not Luke.
I was jealous that he was the one you chose to love. He didn’t deserve you Sadi. He didn’t love you at the end, right before the bombing. He was cheating on you. He was going to break it off. After the bombing, when I found out that my brother was missing, I thought of this crazy scheme. That I would pretend to be him. That I would say my name was Luke and that maybe, just maybe, I could make things right with you. That I could have the chance to love you I had always wanted.
I thought if they found Luke I would just say I was confused. That I must have hit my head in the blast. And I would remember I was Connor and things would continue on as before. But if he wasn’t found… I wanted you to be loved Sadi. Loved and cherished and looked after.
I wanted to give you the life you deserved to have with my brother. So I did it. I have been ashamed of myself all these years. I’ve lived in fear that one morning I would wake up and it would all disappear. All of it. Because the real Luke returned.”
Sadi didn’t know what to say. She stared at the floor, trying to blink back the rapidly gathering tears. Luke had been cheating on her? She knew their relationship had been rocky, but she thought she was the only one who had been unhappy enough
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