finger.”
*
A pro golfer drove into a filling station in his fancy Cadillac. The Polish pump girl noticed some of his golfing equipment on the front seat, and asked the driver about it. So the golfer good-naturedly explained, “Those are tees—I rest my balls on them when I drive.”
Geez,” said the Polish girl, “what’ll those Cadillac makers think of next?”
*
Did you hear about the Polish girl who thought her period was French Provincial?
*
Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
Lawrence of Poland.
*
What’s a set of matched Polish luggage?
Two shopping bags from the same store.
*
Remember the Polish woman who thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease?
She also thought asphalt was a proctological condition and that ping-pong balls were a
venereal disease from China.
*
How come Poles never make Kool-Aid?
They can never figure out how to get a quart of water into the little envelope.
*
A 6’8”, 280-pound black man walked into a bar, sat down next to a white guy, and said, “I’s big and I’s black and I loves to fuck white women!” The guy was so terrified that he put down his beer and ran out of the bar.
The black moved over next to another white man and said, “I’s big and I’s black and I just loves to fuck white women.” The white guy took one look at him, blanched, and ran out of the bar.
The black then went over to a Pole who was having a few at the bar and said, “I’s big and I’s black and I loves to fuck white women.”
The Pole looked at him and said, “I don’t blame you one bit. I wouldn’t fuck a nigger either.”
*
Why don’t they give a Polish work crew more than half an hour for lunch?
They don’t want to have to retrain them.
*
What do they do with old garbage trucks?
Sell them to Poles for campers.
*
How do Polish mothers teach their children to put on their underwear?
Brown in the back, yellow in the front.
*
What does a Polish businessman carry in his briefcase?
Briefs.
*
A Polish family is sitting around watching TV and the father leans over to the mother and says, “Let’s send the kids to the S-H-O-W so we can fuck.”
Jewish
W hat bites but doesn’t swallow?
A Jewish girl.
*
Do you know how copper wire was invented?
Two Jews found the same penny.
*
What do you call a JAP on a waterbed?
Lake Placid.
*
How does a JAP call her family for dinner?
“Get in the car, kids!”
*
What’s green and hates Jews?
Snotzies.
*
What’s a JAP’s favorite erotic position?
Bending over the credit cards.
*
What’s a Jewish ménage a trois?
Using both hands to masturbate.
*
How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A Jew dropped a nickel down a gopher hole.
*
This Jewish guy pays a visit to the local whorehouse. He’s too cheap to buy a rubber, so instead he wraps the label from his coat around his dick. Needless to say, this falls off in coitus, but he never even notices. Later the same day an Irishman purchases the services of the same girl, and just as he’s about to come he notices something fall out of her cunt. Picking it up, he reads: “Roth & Stein, Tailors.”
“Jesus,” he says, “where will those Jews advertise next?”
*
Two Jewish woman are talking. Says Sophie, “Oy, have I got a sore throat.”
“When I have a sore throat I suck on a Lifesaver,” counsels Sadie.
“Easy for you, you live at the beach.”
“My daughter lives in a penthouse apartment in Miami,” reports Sadie to her friend Sophie. “She goes out to dinner every night at a different restaurant, has beautiful furs and clothes, and lots of boyfriends.”
“My daughter’s a whore too.”
*
How do Jewish storeowners celebrate Christmas with their families?
They dance around the cash register singing, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.”
*
Why do Jewish girls think prostitution is such good business?
“Ya got it, ya sell it, ya still got it!”
*
What’s a JAP’s idea of perfect sex?
Simultaneous headaches.
*
First Jew: “Do
*
A pro golfer drove into a filling station in his fancy Cadillac. The Polish pump girl noticed some of his golfing equipment on the front seat, and asked the driver about it. So the golfer good-naturedly explained, “Those are tees—I rest my balls on them when I drive.”
Geez,” said the Polish girl, “what’ll those Cadillac makers think of next?”
*
Did you hear about the Polish girl who thought her period was French Provincial?
*
Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
Lawrence of Poland.
*
What’s a set of matched Polish luggage?
Two shopping bags from the same store.
*
Remember the Polish woman who thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease?
She also thought asphalt was a proctological condition and that ping-pong balls were a
venereal disease from China.
*
How come Poles never make Kool-Aid?
They can never figure out how to get a quart of water into the little envelope.
*
A 6’8”, 280-pound black man walked into a bar, sat down next to a white guy, and said, “I’s big and I’s black and I loves to fuck white women!” The guy was so terrified that he put down his beer and ran out of the bar.
The black moved over next to another white man and said, “I’s big and I’s black and I just loves to fuck white women.” The white guy took one look at him, blanched, and ran out of the bar.
The black then went over to a Pole who was having a few at the bar and said, “I’s big and I’s black and I loves to fuck white women.”
The Pole looked at him and said, “I don’t blame you one bit. I wouldn’t fuck a nigger either.”
*
Why don’t they give a Polish work crew more than half an hour for lunch?
They don’t want to have to retrain them.
*
What do they do with old garbage trucks?
Sell them to Poles for campers.
*
How do Polish mothers teach their children to put on their underwear?
Brown in the back, yellow in the front.
*
What does a Polish businessman carry in his briefcase?
Briefs.
*
A Polish family is sitting around watching TV and the father leans over to the mother and says, “Let’s send the kids to the S-H-O-W so we can fuck.”
Jewish
W hat bites but doesn’t swallow?
A Jewish girl.
*
Do you know how copper wire was invented?
Two Jews found the same penny.
*
What do you call a JAP on a waterbed?
Lake Placid.
*
How does a JAP call her family for dinner?
“Get in the car, kids!”
*
What’s green and hates Jews?
Snotzies.
*
What’s a JAP’s favorite erotic position?
Bending over the credit cards.
*
What’s a Jewish ménage a trois?
Using both hands to masturbate.
*
How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A Jew dropped a nickel down a gopher hole.
*
This Jewish guy pays a visit to the local whorehouse. He’s too cheap to buy a rubber, so instead he wraps the label from his coat around his dick. Needless to say, this falls off in coitus, but he never even notices. Later the same day an Irishman purchases the services of the same girl, and just as he’s about to come he notices something fall out of her cunt. Picking it up, he reads: “Roth & Stein, Tailors.”
“Jesus,” he says, “where will those Jews advertise next?”
*
Two Jewish woman are talking. Says Sophie, “Oy, have I got a sore throat.”
“When I have a sore throat I suck on a Lifesaver,” counsels Sadie.
“Easy for you, you live at the beach.”
“My daughter lives in a penthouse apartment in Miami,” reports Sadie to her friend Sophie. “She goes out to dinner every night at a different restaurant, has beautiful furs and clothes, and lots of boyfriends.”
“My daughter’s a whore too.”
*
How do Jewish storeowners celebrate Christmas with their families?
They dance around the cash register singing, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.”
*
Why do Jewish girls think prostitution is such good business?
“Ya got it, ya sell it, ya still got it!”
*
What’s a JAP’s idea of perfect sex?
Simultaneous headaches.
*
First Jew: “Do
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