of water with a booger in it.
*
Did you hear about the Pole who registered for the draft board at the lumber yard?
*
Two Poles were hunting in the woods when they lost their way. Stanley had read that when lost, you fire three times into the air and help would come. So he did, but nothing happened. An hour later he fired three more times. After another hour his friend Jerzy told him to try a third time.
“Okay,” said Stanley, “but we’re almost out of arrows.”
*
What’s the difference between a Polish girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.
*
The Polish couple asked their kid what he wanted for his birthday. He said, “I wanna watch.” So they let him.
*
Did you hear about the Polish terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.
*
Why do Poles make the best astronauts?
Because they take up space in school.
*
Did you hear about the Pole who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head?
He tried to hang himself with a rubber band.
*
Why don’t they let Poles swim in the ocean?
Because they leave a ring.
*
Did you hear about the Pole who thought manual labor was the president of Mexico?
*
What did the Pole do when the doctor found sugar in his urine?
He pissed on his corn flakes.
*
How many Poles does it take to paint a house?
Six thousand and one. One to hold the brush and six thousand to turn the house.
*
Why do Polish people have holes in their faces?
Because when they eat with a fork they always miss their mouths.
*
Did you hear about the new football stadium in Warsaw?
It had to be torn down, because everywhere you sat, you sat behind a Pole.
*
What happens if a Pole doesn’t pay his garbage bill?
They stop delivery.
*
Polish girl: “Daddy, I lost my virginity.”
Father: “Did you look under the bed?”
*
Know what a “fuckoff” is?
The tie breaker at a Polish beauty contest.
*
Did you hear about the old Polish man who told his children that his only wish was to be buried at sea?
His two sons drowned digging his grave.
*
An Englishman and a Pole are crossing the Sahara when their camel falls ill. It becomes obvious that the animal desperately needs water, but when they finally reach an oasis, the camel refuses to drink. The two men try every way they can think of to get it to drink, but to no avail. Finally the Pole says, “Listen, I’ve got an idea. You stick its head in the water and I’ll suck on his asshole, and we’ll use him as a straw.”
A few minutes later the Pole says to the Englishman, “Could you lift his head up a bit? I’m only getting mud from the bottom.”
*
What’s Polish shishkebab?
A flaming arrow through a garbage can.
*
What was the Pope’s fourth miracle?
He heeled a dog.
*
Why did the Pole flash the Venus de Milo?
He wanted to expose himself to art.
*
Did you hear about the Pole whose husband was out shooting craps?
She didn’t know how to cook them.
*
Pole: “Are you Italian?”
Italian: “Why, yes I am.
Pole: “Aloha!”
*
Did you hear about the Pole who went ice fishing?
He came home with a 200-pound chunk of ice.
*
How did the two Poles get hurt raking leaves?
They fell out of the tree.
*
How do two Poles engage in oral sex?
They stand at opposite ends of the room and yell, “Fuck you!”
*
Why does the new Polish navy have glass-bottomed boats?
So they can see the old Polish navy.
*
How do you sink the Polish navy?
Put it in the water.
*
Twelve Poles were about to rape a German girl, and she screamed, “Nein, nein!”
So three of them left.
*
There are two hippies and a Pole walking down the street. The first hippie’s snapping his fingers and saying, “I got rhythm.” The second hippie’s snapping his fingers and humming, “I got rhythm.” They both look over at the Pole, who’s busy snapping his fingers too, and ask, “Hey, do you have rhythm?”
“No,” says the Pole, “I’ve got a booger on my
*
Did you hear about the Pole who registered for the draft board at the lumber yard?
*
Two Poles were hunting in the woods when they lost their way. Stanley had read that when lost, you fire three times into the air and help would come. So he did, but nothing happened. An hour later he fired three more times. After another hour his friend Jerzy told him to try a third time.
“Okay,” said Stanley, “but we’re almost out of arrows.”
*
What’s the difference between a Polish girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.
*
The Polish couple asked their kid what he wanted for his birthday. He said, “I wanna watch.” So they let him.
*
Did you hear about the Polish terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.
*
Why do Poles make the best astronauts?
Because they take up space in school.
*
Did you hear about the Pole who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head?
He tried to hang himself with a rubber band.
*
Why don’t they let Poles swim in the ocean?
Because they leave a ring.
*
Did you hear about the Pole who thought manual labor was the president of Mexico?
*
What did the Pole do when the doctor found sugar in his urine?
He pissed on his corn flakes.
*
How many Poles does it take to paint a house?
Six thousand and one. One to hold the brush and six thousand to turn the house.
*
Why do Polish people have holes in their faces?
Because when they eat with a fork they always miss their mouths.
*
Did you hear about the new football stadium in Warsaw?
It had to be torn down, because everywhere you sat, you sat behind a Pole.
*
What happens if a Pole doesn’t pay his garbage bill?
They stop delivery.
*
Polish girl: “Daddy, I lost my virginity.”
Father: “Did you look under the bed?”
*
Know what a “fuckoff” is?
The tie breaker at a Polish beauty contest.
*
Did you hear about the old Polish man who told his children that his only wish was to be buried at sea?
His two sons drowned digging his grave.
*
An Englishman and a Pole are crossing the Sahara when their camel falls ill. It becomes obvious that the animal desperately needs water, but when they finally reach an oasis, the camel refuses to drink. The two men try every way they can think of to get it to drink, but to no avail. Finally the Pole says, “Listen, I’ve got an idea. You stick its head in the water and I’ll suck on his asshole, and we’ll use him as a straw.”
A few minutes later the Pole says to the Englishman, “Could you lift his head up a bit? I’m only getting mud from the bottom.”
*
What’s Polish shishkebab?
A flaming arrow through a garbage can.
*
What was the Pope’s fourth miracle?
He heeled a dog.
*
Why did the Pole flash the Venus de Milo?
He wanted to expose himself to art.
*
Did you hear about the Pole whose husband was out shooting craps?
She didn’t know how to cook them.
*
Pole: “Are you Italian?”
Italian: “Why, yes I am.
Pole: “Aloha!”
*
Did you hear about the Pole who went ice fishing?
He came home with a 200-pound chunk of ice.
*
How did the two Poles get hurt raking leaves?
They fell out of the tree.
*
How do two Poles engage in oral sex?
They stand at opposite ends of the room and yell, “Fuck you!”
*
Why does the new Polish navy have glass-bottomed boats?
So they can see the old Polish navy.
*
How do you sink the Polish navy?
Put it in the water.
*
Twelve Poles were about to rape a German girl, and she screamed, “Nein, nein!”
So three of them left.
*
There are two hippies and a Pole walking down the street. The first hippie’s snapping his fingers and saying, “I got rhythm.” The second hippie’s snapping his fingers and humming, “I got rhythm.” They both look over at the Pole, who’s busy snapping his fingers too, and ask, “Hey, do you have rhythm?”
“No,” says the Pole, “I’ve got a booger on my
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