Kim.
She said nothing, merely held him tight.
“Oh Christ,” he muttered.
They stayed thus for a long while in silence. It was two in the morning and outside in the tree-bordered Chelsea square all was quiet.
“Did I make much noise?” he asked her. “I was shouting for someone to help. Loud enough to wake the whole city.”
“No,” she told him. “Perhaps in the dream you were, but I only heard a whimper. You woke me when you sat up. Was it your friend again?”
“Yes … Oh God, why can’t I let it rest? There was nothing I could have done. You see, we’d been paired for a low-level but on the threshold, just before take-off, I had a leak in my LOX system. That’s liquid oxygen—there’s a converter on board that makes the stuff we breathe up there, and it’s bad news without it. I had to abort. Another crew was due to join with us a few minutes later. They were ready to roll, so they took my slot. It was on the flight with them that Sammy and his nav went into the mountain. Not that I could have done anything, evenif I’d been there. Even so, Charlotte’s face always seems to be accusing me.”
“And did she? Did she ever accuse you?”
“Of course not. Charlotte understands what it’s all about.”
“You’re the one who’s doing the accusing, Mark. You’re blaming yourself for something you know you’re not responsible for. Whatever happened that day would have occurred whether you were there or not. Everyone who flies knows the risks they take. Your own words. Remember? You said that to me only days after we met. There was something on the news about a fighter crashing in Germany.”
He nodded slowly. “We’d better get back to sleep.”
“Would you like a hot drink first? I can make you one.”
“No,” he said. “I’ll be all right.”
He settled back down and she wrapped herself about him, holding on to him tightly.
She had changed subtly since the winter, and though she was still wilful and unpredictable, she had begun to understand a little of what was required of someone in his line of work.
Her father had been alarmed by her staying power, expecting her to have ditched Mark Selby as swiftly as she had other passing fancies. But if anything,
she
was the one afraid of being ditched. As for Reggie Barham-Deane, he was becoming increasingly obnoxious as the relationship continued.
She didn’t care. There was not a hope in hell that she would marry Reggie, whatever her father’s wishes. She did not exist in order to provide a commercial dynasty for him; even if in the end things turned sour between Mark and herself, she still would not be marrying Reggie.
“Not a chance,” she murmured.
“Did you say something?”
“No, darling,” she replied softly. “Go to sleep. You’re off to the squadron tomorrow, and I want you refreshed. I don’t want you going into any mountain.” She kissed him gently on the cheek.
About them, the otherwise empty house made its own soothing noises.
In the morning, she watched him closely as they sat in the large kitchen, eating at the breakfast bar. She was wearing something she called a dressing gown. Selby thought it was almost invisible.
“You’ll shock your neighbors,” he said, enjoying the sight.
“They can’t see in. Besides, no one peers around here.”
“There’s always someone,” he countered, “everywhere.”
She smiled. “I bought it specially, to wear for you.”
“Your father would just love it if he walked in now.”
“He’s not likely to. He’s in New York for a week.”
“And Reggie the Smooth?”
“I can handle Reggie.”
“Isn’t this place like a second home to him?”
“My father allowed it. Not me. Reggie won’t come here while Daddy’s away, if I don’t invite him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Quite sure. If I complained to Daddy about him, he’d be out of a job. He knows it, so we’ve got an armed truce. He’s absolutely furious that I’m still seeing you, but daren’t do
She said nothing, merely held him tight.
“Oh Christ,” he muttered.
They stayed thus for a long while in silence. It was two in the morning and outside in the tree-bordered Chelsea square all was quiet.
“Did I make much noise?” he asked her. “I was shouting for someone to help. Loud enough to wake the whole city.”
“No,” she told him. “Perhaps in the dream you were, but I only heard a whimper. You woke me when you sat up. Was it your friend again?”
“Yes … Oh God, why can’t I let it rest? There was nothing I could have done. You see, we’d been paired for a low-level but on the threshold, just before take-off, I had a leak in my LOX system. That’s liquid oxygen—there’s a converter on board that makes the stuff we breathe up there, and it’s bad news without it. I had to abort. Another crew was due to join with us a few minutes later. They were ready to roll, so they took my slot. It was on the flight with them that Sammy and his nav went into the mountain. Not that I could have done anything, evenif I’d been there. Even so, Charlotte’s face always seems to be accusing me.”
“And did she? Did she ever accuse you?”
“Of course not. Charlotte understands what it’s all about.”
“You’re the one who’s doing the accusing, Mark. You’re blaming yourself for something you know you’re not responsible for. Whatever happened that day would have occurred whether you were there or not. Everyone who flies knows the risks they take. Your own words. Remember? You said that to me only days after we met. There was something on the news about a fighter crashing in Germany.”
He nodded slowly. “We’d better get back to sleep.”
“Would you like a hot drink first? I can make you one.”
“No,” he said. “I’ll be all right.”
He settled back down and she wrapped herself about him, holding on to him tightly.
She had changed subtly since the winter, and though she was still wilful and unpredictable, she had begun to understand a little of what was required of someone in his line of work.
Her father had been alarmed by her staying power, expecting her to have ditched Mark Selby as swiftly as she had other passing fancies. But if anything,
she
was the one afraid of being ditched. As for Reggie Barham-Deane, he was becoming increasingly obnoxious as the relationship continued.
She didn’t care. There was not a hope in hell that she would marry Reggie, whatever her father’s wishes. She did not exist in order to provide a commercial dynasty for him; even if in the end things turned sour between Mark and herself, she still would not be marrying Reggie.
“Not a chance,” she murmured.
“Did you say something?”
“No, darling,” she replied softly. “Go to sleep. You’re off to the squadron tomorrow, and I want you refreshed. I don’t want you going into any mountain.” She kissed him gently on the cheek.
About them, the otherwise empty house made its own soothing noises.
In the morning, she watched him closely as they sat in the large kitchen, eating at the breakfast bar. She was wearing something she called a dressing gown. Selby thought it was almost invisible.
“You’ll shock your neighbors,” he said, enjoying the sight.
“They can’t see in. Besides, no one peers around here.”
“There’s always someone,” he countered, “everywhere.”
She smiled. “I bought it specially, to wear for you.”
“Your father would just love it if he walked in now.”
“He’s not likely to. He’s in New York for a week.”
“And Reggie the Smooth?”
“I can handle Reggie.”
“Isn’t this place like a second home to him?”
“My father allowed it. Not me. Reggie won’t come here while Daddy’s away, if I don’t invite him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Quite sure. If I complained to Daddy about him, he’d be out of a job. He knows it, so we’ve got an armed truce. He’s absolutely furious that I’m still seeing you, but daren’t do
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