Trembling by V. J. Chambers

or something? Like when
people lift cars?"

That was an interesting theory. "Maybe?" I said.

"How did you feel?" Jude asked.

"I don't know. Um, calm," I said. "Weirdly enough, I felt really
calm."

"That's awesome. It's probably why you were able to deal so well with the
situation."

"Yeah, but it's strange, isn't it?"

Jude shrugged. "Maybe you're just growing as a person," he said.
"You're stronger now. You and Jason are arguing a lot. Maybe you're
growing out of him."

"No way!" I said. "I'm never going to grow out of Jason! He's
everything to me."

"And if he were sleeping with Lilith?"

"He isn't."

"Maybe not yet. But what if he does?"

I shook my head. "It won't happen."

"What if Jason had done something horrible?" Jude asked. "What
if . . . I don't know, he killed someone or something?"

Ha. Jude didn't know it, but I'd already witnessed Jason kill five members of
the Sons, saving my life. "That wouldn't make any difference," I
said. "None of it would."

"So even if he cheated on you, you'd forgive him?"

I considered. When I'd found out Toby had been cheating on me, all of my
feelings for him had shriveled up. I'd felt nothing for him except disgust.
There hadn't been any way I could have forgiven Toby. But if I found out that
Jason had slept with Lilith, would he disgust me? No, I realized, he wouldn't.
He'd still be Jason. It would hurt. I'd be devastated. But there would be
nothing more devastating than losing Jason completely. "I think I
would," I said.  

"Wow," said Jude. "You really like him."

"I love him," I said. "More than anything else on earth."

Jude pulled the car into the parking lot at school and parked. We both got out
and began walking toward the building. "So why do you think you two are
having problems lately?" he asked me.

"I don't know," I said. Why were Jason and I arguing so much? We
never argued much in the past. How had it started? I thought back to the
beginning of the week. Lilith. The bell. Jude. At some point, Jason and I had
stopped trusting each other. Jason didn't believe me when I said we were in
danger. Jason didn't take my side when I didn't want to let Lilith stay with
us. Jason didn't like Jude. It seemed like everything was spiraling out of my
control. I didn't know how to make anything better. "If he'd just listen
to me," I said. "If he'd just believe me, maybe . . ."

"He doesn't listen to you?"

"He was mad at me because I didn't call him last night when I went to the
shooting range."

"But he was at work."

"I know," I said. "And he said that I was angry with him because
he wasn't there to protect me. But I wasn't. I took care of myself just fine,
without him. I didn't need his help. But he wouldn't listen."

"He gets angry a lot," said Jude.  

Did he?  

"He's always beating people up. I don't want you to take this the wrong
way, Azazel, because I know you really care about him, but are you sure he's,
well, good for you?"

I glared at Jude as we entered the school building. "Of course I am."

He shrugged. "It's just that he seems kind of scary sometimes." He
paused. "You wanna go to my locker or your locker first?"

"Yours," I said. "And he's not scary. Not to me."

Jude's locker was on the first floor. I watched as he dropped off his book bag
and grabbed his History book. "Never?" asked Jude. "He's never
scared you?"

"No," I said, even though that wasn't strictly true. There was one time,
back in November, in a hotel room . . . But Jason had been really upset then.
And he'd stopped when I asked him to.

We were climbing the stairs to my locker, which was on the second floor.  

"Maybe I'm out of line," said Jude.

"Jason is all I have," I said to Jude as we stopped in front of my
locker. I opened it. Stared inside at my books.  

"That's not a good reason to date someone," said Jude.

I chewed on my lip. Opened my book bag. Exchanged a few books. "That's not
why I'm dating him."

"Okay," said Jude. "I'm sorry. I won't say anything else. I just
worry about