school, me and Herb rode the bus home together.
We sit with each other every single day. Except not on Saturdays or Sundays or weekends.
Me and Herb talk about lots of stuff on the bus. Only today I didn't feel like talking, hardly. ’Cause I was still upset about looking like Uncle you-know-who.
I slumped down in my seat very glum.
“What if I look like a weirdo?” I said. “Huh, Herb? What if I look like toothless Uncle Lou?”
Herbert patted me. “Don't worry. You won't… probably.”
I kept on worrying.
“Yeah, only today is Friday, Herb,” I said. “And so by Monday my tooth will already be out, I bet. And so what if I come to school looking like toothless Uncle Lou? And then all of Room One starts making fun of me? And they form a circle around me, and they laugh and skip and throw fruit?”
Then, all of a sudden, I did a gasp. ’Cause an even
worser
problem popped in my head.
I grabbed Herb's shirt.
“Oh, no, Herb! Oh, no!” I said. “What if I don't even
look
like myself on Monday! Not even a tiny bit, I mean! And then I get on this bus. And you don't even recognize me. And so you pass right by my seat. And then I have to sit by myself.All alone … and toothless.”
Herb looked down at his shirt.
He said to please take my hands off of him.
He smoothed himself out.
“Maybe you should look on the bright side, Junie B.,” he said. “Even if all of that bad stuff happens—which it won't, probably—you'll still end up with a bunch of money from the tooth fairy. Right? And that's good, isn't it?”
As soon as he said that, chill bumps came on my skin. And my stomach got flutterflies in it.
I quick looked out the window so Herb couldn't see my face.
’Cause guess what?
The tooth fairy is a whole other can of worms.
I walked home from my bus stop very slow.
Walking is good for thinking, I think.
Talking is good for thinking, too.
“I just wish I wasn't the
first
one, that's all,” I said out loud to myself. “I wish the other children in Room One were losing their teeth, too. Then all of us would look toothless together. And no one would throw fruit.”
I did a big breath at me.
“Yeah, only that is the dumbest thing I ever heard of,” I said. “’Cause you can'tmake other children have loose teeth, Junie B.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, only I already
know
that, Junie B.,” I said. “But I really don't want to be first. And so why can't my tooth just stay in my mouth a little longer? That's what I would like to know.”
I crossed my arms at myself.
“’Cause you keep
wiggling
it, that's why,” I said. “Maybe if you didn't wiggle it, it would get tight again. Did you ever think of that? Huh? Did you?”
I walked and walked some more.
Then, all of a sudden, I did a gasp.
’Cause I
did
think of that! Ha!
I ran to my house speedy quick.
My grampa Frank Miller was babysitting my fussy brother named Ollie.
“Grampa Miller! I know what to do about my tooth! I know what to do about my tooth!” I hollered real happy.
Grampa Miller was bouncing Ollie on his lap.
Ollie was wearing his drool bib. Also, he was slobbering and chewing on his arm.
Ollie will not be popular in school, probably.
Mother says he is drooly and fussy because he will be getting teeth soon.
She is kidding herself, I think.
Just then, Ollie started to cry.
Grampa Miller looked weary of that boy.
I took Ollie away from him.
“Don't worry, Grampa. I know how to calm this baby down,” I said.
After that, I patted Ollie's back very nice.
Then I hummed real soft in his ear.
And I put him in the hall closet.
Grampa quick got him out of there.
He put Ollie in his playpen. And he gave him animal crackers.
Animal crackers are crackers that make babies stop crying.
Also, I enjoy an occasional cracker myself.
After Ollie stopped fussing, Grampa Miller came back in the kitchen. And he put me on his lap.
“Okay, little girl. I'm ready to listen to your news now,” he said. “What were
We sit with each other every single day. Except not on Saturdays or Sundays or weekends.
Me and Herb talk about lots of stuff on the bus. Only today I didn't feel like talking, hardly. ’Cause I was still upset about looking like Uncle you-know-who.
I slumped down in my seat very glum.
“What if I look like a weirdo?” I said. “Huh, Herb? What if I look like toothless Uncle Lou?”
Herbert patted me. “Don't worry. You won't… probably.”
I kept on worrying.
“Yeah, only today is Friday, Herb,” I said. “And so by Monday my tooth will already be out, I bet. And so what if I come to school looking like toothless Uncle Lou? And then all of Room One starts making fun of me? And they form a circle around me, and they laugh and skip and throw fruit?”
Then, all of a sudden, I did a gasp. ’Cause an even
worser
problem popped in my head.
I grabbed Herb's shirt.
“Oh, no, Herb! Oh, no!” I said. “What if I don't even
look
like myself on Monday! Not even a tiny bit, I mean! And then I get on this bus. And you don't even recognize me. And so you pass right by my seat. And then I have to sit by myself.All alone … and toothless.”
Herb looked down at his shirt.
He said to please take my hands off of him.
He smoothed himself out.
“Maybe you should look on the bright side, Junie B.,” he said. “Even if all of that bad stuff happens—which it won't, probably—you'll still end up with a bunch of money from the tooth fairy. Right? And that's good, isn't it?”
As soon as he said that, chill bumps came on my skin. And my stomach got flutterflies in it.
I quick looked out the window so Herb couldn't see my face.
’Cause guess what?
The tooth fairy is a whole other can of worms.
I walked home from my bus stop very slow.
Walking is good for thinking, I think.
Talking is good for thinking, too.
“I just wish I wasn't the
first
one, that's all,” I said out loud to myself. “I wish the other children in Room One were losing their teeth, too. Then all of us would look toothless together. And no one would throw fruit.”
I did a big breath at me.
“Yeah, only that is the dumbest thing I ever heard of,” I said. “’Cause you can'tmake other children have loose teeth, Junie B.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, only I already
know
that, Junie B.,” I said. “But I really don't want to be first. And so why can't my tooth just stay in my mouth a little longer? That's what I would like to know.”
I crossed my arms at myself.
“’Cause you keep
wiggling
it, that's why,” I said. “Maybe if you didn't wiggle it, it would get tight again. Did you ever think of that? Huh? Did you?”
I walked and walked some more.
Then, all of a sudden, I did a gasp.
’Cause I
did
think of that! Ha!
I ran to my house speedy quick.
My grampa Frank Miller was babysitting my fussy brother named Ollie.
“Grampa Miller! I know what to do about my tooth! I know what to do about my tooth!” I hollered real happy.
Grampa Miller was bouncing Ollie on his lap.
Ollie was wearing his drool bib. Also, he was slobbering and chewing on his arm.
Ollie will not be popular in school, probably.
Mother says he is drooly and fussy because he will be getting teeth soon.
She is kidding herself, I think.
Just then, Ollie started to cry.
Grampa Miller looked weary of that boy.
I took Ollie away from him.
“Don't worry, Grampa. I know how to calm this baby down,” I said.
After that, I patted Ollie's back very nice.
Then I hummed real soft in his ear.
And I put him in the hall closet.
Grampa quick got him out of there.
He put Ollie in his playpen. And he gave him animal crackers.
Animal crackers are crackers that make babies stop crying.
Also, I enjoy an occasional cracker myself.
After Ollie stopped fussing, Grampa Miller came back in the kitchen. And he put me on his lap.
“Okay, little girl. I'm ready to listen to your news now,” he said. “What were
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