Too Good to Be True: The Colossal Book of Urban Legends by Jan Harold Harold Brunvand
Authors: Jan Harold Harold Brunvand
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she had the gun she came out of a shopping mall to the parking lot and found two men sitting in her car drinking beer and eating. With a firm, determined, air she pulled the gun, advanced on the car, aimed it directly at the men, and ordered them out.
The men jumped out of the car and ran away in great panic. But when the woman got into the car, she found that her ignition key did not fit.
Then she noticed her own car, identical to theirs, parked one row over in the lot.
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“The Hook”
I heard this story at a fraternity party. I heard this. This guy had this date with this really cool girl, and all he could think about all night was taking her out and parking and having a really good time, so he takes her out in the country, stops the car, turns the lights off, puts the radio on, nice music; he’s really getting her in the mood, and all of the sudden there’s this news flash comes on over the radio and says to the effect that a sex maniac has just escaped from the state insane asylum and the one distinguishing feature of this man is that he has a hook arm, and in the first place this girl is really, really upset, ‘cause she’s just sure this guy is going to come and try and get in the car, so the guy locks all the doors and says it’ll be okay, but she says he could take his arm and break through the window and everything and she just cries and cries and goes just really frantic and the guy finally consents to take her home, but he’s really mad ’cause you know he really had his plans for this girl, so he revs up the car and he goes torquing out of there and they get to her house, and he’s really, really mad and he’s not even going to get out of the car and open the door for her, and she just gets out on her own side of the car and as she gets out she turns around and looks and there’s a hook hanging on the door.
Verbatim, as told in a breathless rush by an Indiana University undergraduate woman to her roommate in 1967. This was the first text published in the first issue of a journal largely devoted to urban legends edited by Indiana University professor Linda Dégh and her students at the Folklore Institute. In Indiana Folklore, vol. I, no. 1 (1968), pp. 92–100, Dégh listed 44 locally collected texts of this legend going back to 1959. “The Hook” was printed in a “Dear Abby” column in November 1960 and continues to be one of the most popular American urban legends, one of the few that many people refer to by specific title rather than merely a descriptive phrase like “the one about the maniac and the teenagers.” Numerous fiction writers have adapted the essential plot of the legend. Bill Murray told “The Hook” in his film Meatballs, and Gary Larson referred to the story in at least two of his “Far Side” cartoons. In 1992 the hook man appeared as the title character of the slick horror film Candyman. Perhaps because of the legend’s improbably tidy plot, most tellers narrate the story nowadays more as a scary story than as a believed legend. Folklorists are divided about whether “The Hook” represents simply a warning story about staying out late in an unknown environment, or whether its details may signify sexual meanings, including symbolic castration of the threatening and deformed phallic symbol—the hook—outside the car at the same time that the boyfriend is trying to “get his hooks into the girl” inside the car.
“The Severed Fingers”
A young couple were out together in a classic VW Beetle. Whilst parked in a deserted country lane, after some kissing and cuddling, they heard a noise near the exit to the lane. Looking up they saw, strung across the lane, a menacing group of Hell’s Angels, all grinning and leering in a hideous manner, dressed in black leather and swinging tire chains, carrying knives and clubs. The gang advanced towards the car, blocking the exit to the lane.
The girl screamed, and the guy was shocked out of his senses.
The men jumped out of the car and ran away in great panic. But when the woman got into the car, she found that her ignition key did not fit.
Then she noticed her own car, identical to theirs, parked one row over in the lot.
----
“The Hook”
I heard this story at a fraternity party. I heard this. This guy had this date with this really cool girl, and all he could think about all night was taking her out and parking and having a really good time, so he takes her out in the country, stops the car, turns the lights off, puts the radio on, nice music; he’s really getting her in the mood, and all of the sudden there’s this news flash comes on over the radio and says to the effect that a sex maniac has just escaped from the state insane asylum and the one distinguishing feature of this man is that he has a hook arm, and in the first place this girl is really, really upset, ‘cause she’s just sure this guy is going to come and try and get in the car, so the guy locks all the doors and says it’ll be okay, but she says he could take his arm and break through the window and everything and she just cries and cries and goes just really frantic and the guy finally consents to take her home, but he’s really mad ’cause you know he really had his plans for this girl, so he revs up the car and he goes torquing out of there and they get to her house, and he’s really, really mad and he’s not even going to get out of the car and open the door for her, and she just gets out on her own side of the car and as she gets out she turns around and looks and there’s a hook hanging on the door.
Verbatim, as told in a breathless rush by an Indiana University undergraduate woman to her roommate in 1967. This was the first text published in the first issue of a journal largely devoted to urban legends edited by Indiana University professor Linda Dégh and her students at the Folklore Institute. In Indiana Folklore, vol. I, no. 1 (1968), pp. 92–100, Dégh listed 44 locally collected texts of this legend going back to 1959. “The Hook” was printed in a “Dear Abby” column in November 1960 and continues to be one of the most popular American urban legends, one of the few that many people refer to by specific title rather than merely a descriptive phrase like “the one about the maniac and the teenagers.” Numerous fiction writers have adapted the essential plot of the legend. Bill Murray told “The Hook” in his film Meatballs, and Gary Larson referred to the story in at least two of his “Far Side” cartoons. In 1992 the hook man appeared as the title character of the slick horror film Candyman. Perhaps because of the legend’s improbably tidy plot, most tellers narrate the story nowadays more as a scary story than as a believed legend. Folklorists are divided about whether “The Hook” represents simply a warning story about staying out late in an unknown environment, or whether its details may signify sexual meanings, including symbolic castration of the threatening and deformed phallic symbol—the hook—outside the car at the same time that the boyfriend is trying to “get his hooks into the girl” inside the car.
“The Severed Fingers”
A young couple were out together in a classic VW Beetle. Whilst parked in a deserted country lane, after some kissing and cuddling, they heard a noise near the exit to the lane. Looking up they saw, strung across the lane, a menacing group of Hell’s Angels, all grinning and leering in a hideous manner, dressed in black leather and swinging tire chains, carrying knives and clubs. The gang advanced towards the car, blocking the exit to the lane.
The girl screamed, and the guy was shocked out of his senses.
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